Till death do us part
by PinkPunk010
Summary: this is the story of Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin. From the first time they meet, and fall in love, some of the struggles their relationship face.
1. Prologue

Nymphadora Tonks woke with a start. She yawned widely as she looked at her illuminated clock through foggy, sleep clouded eyes.

It was 4:30 AM.

She sat up rubbing her eyes and wondering why in the name of Merlin she was awake at this godforsaken hour. She heard a noise downstairs and a door closing. Her Auror training kicking in, Tonks grabbed he wand from her bedside table and leapt out of bed, tangling herself up in her quilt and ending up on the floor with a mercifully muffled thump. Cursing under her breath, Tonks pulled herself up and crept towards her bedroom door her wand pointed at eye-level and trying her utmost not to trip again. She reached the door and pulled it open swiftly. Startled by the bright light in her hall, she toppled over again, landing on her face at the top of the stairs.

Tonks heard an amused chuckle from the bottom of the stairs.

"I still wonder how you managed to pass your Stealth and Tracking!" his voice was slow and reassuring. Tonks knew that voice well.

Whipping her head up so fast she cricked her neck Tonks looked at Kingsley Shacklebolt with anger filling up her head.

_Accio Dressing Gown _she thought, pointing her wand at her open bedroom door _Typical, of everyone who would drop in at 4:30, it has to be Kingsley Bloody Shacklebolt!._

A bright pink flurry of fabric hurtled out of the bedroom and straight into her face. Blushing furiously, Tonks pulled it on.

"Ever heard of knocking?" she asked irritably managing, to the shock of both, to get to the bottom of the stairs without tripping over her feet. "OR I have a better idea, come when I'm AWAKE"

Kingsley just laughed, he shook his head and his single golden hooped earing swung. Suddenly, Mad-Eye Moody appeared in the hallway from the direction of her kitchen.

_Bloody hell_ she moaned _who else is here?_

Mad-Eye's magical, electric blue eye was spinning, Tonks knew he was checking for non-existent danger and felt like rolling her eyes. Mad-Eye gestured to the kitchen, both had worked with him long enough to realise he wanted then in there. He stumped in afterwards.

Tonks pointed her wand at the kettle, which immediately began to boil.

_God I need a coffee._

"Jeez guys, its 4:30 in the morning, would it have been too much just to wait until I got to work? I need my sleep just as much as the next person" as if to proved her point, Tonks yawned loudly.

Mad-Eye ignored her.

"Do you want to fight?" He growled. Tonks rolled her eyes.

"Would it be too much for you to actually _explain_ those cryptic messages of yours?" she asked irritably.

_Its _four_ O'clock in the sodding morning! How the heck am I supposed to understand you???_

Thankfully Kingsley obviously felt the same. He shot a look at his ex-colleague then leaned forward across the table to talk to her.

"Fight, You-Know-Who." He clarified.

Tonks yawned, loudly and very pointedly.

"Im not in the mood for any stupid jokes. And I would have thought _you two_ wouldn't fall for them." She too lent forward. "You-Know-Who is gone, vanished, vamooshed!"

It was Mad-Eyes turn to roll his eyes, although Tonks suspected he was checking for more, non-existent danger – _paranoid_. _Git._

Kingsley shook his dark head and his gold earring glinted.

"Dumbledore believes he has returned and he has good reason too. Dumbledore is therefore re-instigating the Order of the Phoenix to fight him."

Tonks felt extremely thick, but didn't want to show it, instead she nodded intelligently – _what the heck is the Order and the Phoenix or whatever it is_ – Kingsley observed her with one eyebrow raised. Tonks gave up and shook her head.

"Nope, not getting you." She said.

Mad-Eye stopped his scanning of the neighbourhood and Tonks felt both his eyes, both magical and not, fix her with a stare. Tonks felt like a child caught doing something she shouldn't, like stealing a cookie from the big porcelain jar in her mothers immaculate kitchen.

"Do you want in?" he asked simply.

"Dumbledore asked for you specifically, he … remembered… you from Hogwarts and had heard you qualified to be an Auror." Kingsley elaborated, punctuating the "remember" with a small smile.

Tonks blushed; she remembered being taken to Professor Dumbledore on many occasions, mostly behavioural.

She didn't even need to think about it, Course she wanted in, they try and damn well _stop_ her.

She nodded once.

The Kettle boiled over.


	2. Falling

Tonks couldn't believe that her ancestors, the "noble and most ancient house of Black", the home of her Grandmother Black and of her great Aunt and her children, _her mothers cousins, _lived in _that_. The house was black and grimy, with peeling paint and looked _awful. _Kingsley prodded her in the back. She looked at him, and he nodded, understanding what was wrong. Her mother's favourite cousin, the ex-convict Sirius Black was inside that house. He had been taken to Askaban 14 years ago now and she had been 10 years old when she had crept downstairs to find her father comforting her mother who was sobbing, a letter clutched in her hand. She had crept back upstairs and vowed not to ask her parents what was wrong with her.

And she had grown up thinking he was a murderer. He was someone to stay away from, she was ashamed that she was related to him. Her mother had always said he was innocent, but Tonks had always believed the majority of the Wizarding population.

But _Dumbledore_ said he was innocent. _Harry Potter_ said he was innocent. Her _Mother_ said he was innocent. Tonks had to believe that.

And she was about to meet him.

She checked the bottle in her pocket, then her wand up her sleeve and nodded to Kingsley. He tapped once on the door. She heard locks and watnots on the other side as the door opened.

She stepped inside.

……………………………………

Remus Lupin sat in the kitchen, stirring his cup of tea absentmindedly. Molly shot him an exasperated look from her perch by the stove in the cavernous kitchen, but didn't reprimand him, or ask him to stop. She had declined his offer to help earlier that evening. No-one realised that Remus _needed_ to help, to have something to take his mind off something that was bothering him very much.

So he made do stirring his tea, wondering if he had OCD, a muggle obsessive disease.

Sirius was sat opposite him, slouched in his chair, not a care in the world. Remus sighed, wishing he could feel as carefree. Sirius opened one dark eye and observed his best friend.

"Cheer up Moony," he yawned "Kingsley's bringing the new recruit in. Believe me, she should liven up the evening"

Remus gave him a single look, then looked back at his tea. He missed Molly's silent telling off over his head, directed at Sirius.

He felt he had every reason to be nervous. This new recruit was young, carefree and a woman. Not that he was sexist or anything. Sirius had tried to convince him that his cousin wouldn't give a damn if he was a werewolf or not. Remus had argued back that how should he know, he'd been in Askaban since she was 10. He had felt guilty afterwards, bringing up Sirius's 13 year stint in Askaban in an argument was simply uncalled for.

Remus heaved himself up. Every eye in the room was fixed on him, well, only one of Mad-Eye's, his blue magical eye was fixed in the corner above the door. Muttering about needing some air, he staggered towards the door, feeling claustrophobic.

He opened the door, just as a young witch with bright, eye-watering green hair tumbled through the doorway.

Reacting instinctively, Remus caught her.

"Merlin! Oh God, Sorry! Sorry!" she gasped, as Remus helped her regain her balance. She looked highly embarrassed. Before he could get a proper look at her face, she had whipped round to face the stairs.

"You pushed me on purpose Shacklebolt!" she yelled up the stairs. Remus heard Kingsley's low chuckle before Sirius's mother started yelling and screeching. He pushed past the witch and raced up the stairs, closely followed by her.

She stopped and gaped, open-mouthed at the bulging eyed portrait of the Late Mrs Black, insane and drooling.

"FILTHY SCUM, BEGONE FROM THE HOUSE OF MY FORE-FATHERS…"

Remus noted with irritation that the woman hadn't moved or even blinked to his knowledge, and they needed help to close the curtains.

"Don't just gawp, gimme a hand!" he yelled. He didn't think she'd even heard him till she shook her head as if trying to clear water from it. She raced forward and began heaving and pulling on the opposite curtain with Kingsley.

"YOU, FILTHY SHAPESHIFTING FREAKS OF FOUL-BLOOD" raved Mrs Black.

Finally, the three of them managed to pull the curtains across and shut out the agonising shrieks of the demented Black. She pulled with so much force that the young witch toppled forward and ended up on the carpet. Remus stared down at her.

"Dear me Tonks" Kingsley chuckled before heading back down the stairs. Tonks, as Kingsley had called her, started to attempt pushing herself up. Remus bent down to help her and found himself looking into a surprised pair of dark eyes. He offered this intriguing woman his hand. She just looked at it from her humbling position on the floor.

"Do you want a hand up?" he asked uncertainly.

She nodded and took his hand with surprising strength from someone so small. Together they managed to get her off the floor.

"Thanks. Nobody ever helps me get up, not anymore." She said softly. Remus noted they were still holding hands and felt uncomfortable when he realised that it felt, _right_.

"Umm, I'm Nymphadora Tonks, by the way."

"Nice to meet you Nymphadora." He wobbled his hand a bit. He watched her eyes narrow and wondered what he had done wrong so early in the conversation.

"I'm only going to say this to you once, so listen up big-boy," her voice had a half-joking, half-threatening twang to it. "My name is Nymphadora Tonks, but if you _ever_ call me that awful first name again, I _will_ hex you into next week." She punctuated this with a rebellious stare.

"So what am I supposed to call you then? Madame?" He teased.

_Sweet Merlin! What was he doing? She would probably cower away when he told her about him being a werewolf!_

"No, Tonks is fine, in fact Tonks is _more_ than fine" she smiled widely. Remus smiled back.

"Remus Lupin, seeing as I have no problem with my name you can call me Remus or Lupin as you wish." He watched her as she laughed softly, then cast a wary eye over the clouded portrait.

He used the time she wasn't looking at him to drink in her overall appearance. She was slim and petite, probably little over 5'3" with pale skin and long legs. She was wearing a long-sleeved purple blouse and black waistcoat with dark blue jeans and a purple coat with silver fastenings. If Remus was honest with himself, the bright green hair ruined the overall effect.

"She was a complete nutter my mum says." Remus was bought sharply back to reality. He looked up from her hand still in his and back up to her face. She was still staring at the curtains, then she turned back to Remus and gave him another wide smile. She let go of his hand. Both arms swung dejectedly back to their owners sides. Her smile faltered.

"Come on, lets get downstairs, the … others will be wondering where we've got to…" Tonks sounded nervous. He nodded, then led the way back down the stairs to the bright kitchen.

……………………………………

Tonks could only remember snippets of what happened next. The meeting had been very sombre, but Remus and Sirius had told her that was because Dumbledore was there. Sirius had still been laughing when the meeting had started after meeting his young cousin and being presented with a bottle of hair tonic. Remus had nearly wet himself and Tonks had blushed furiously and her hair was changing colour at the speed of light, like it always did when she was extremely embarrassed.

God that had been embarrassing. Then to top it all, she had tripped into Remus, again.

……………………………………… three meetings later

Remus was babysitting, there really was no other word for it.

Sirius was off on a jaunt round the square and all the other adults were on guard-duty, either Harry or the Department of mysteries, or merely getting some well earned shut eye.

Meeting was over, and all children were fed, watered and asleep, Remus had checked. Now he was sat in the comfy armchair in front on the fire, there were 2, both as shabby and as patched up as he was.

He allowed his thoughts to drift over the last 2 weeks. Sirius had been right, new recruit Nymphadora Tonks had certainly livened up the evening: she was a walking disaster! She also didn't seem to mind about the fact he was a werewolf, when he'd told her, she had taken one half-step away. Remus had been unable to stop the hurt fill his heart, and his eyes. He had seen something in her eyes then – determination? rebellion? – before she had stepped back into the gap with a joke.

_NO_, Remus scolded himself _remember you keep your heart looked up in a box so you can't hurt anybody._

But he couldn't help remembering the odd klutzy things she did. In today's meeting alone she had;

Cracked two of Molly's glasses from the Burrow (Remus had repaired it for her in an instant, once he had stopped laughing)

Spilt her cup of tea all over Dumbledore (Molly had cleaned that up, Remus was usually her saviour, but he was so weak with laughter at the _shock_ on Tonks face he couldn't have preformed even a simple spell)

Accidently _burnt_ one of the detailed maps Mad-Eye had supplied of the ministry (Molly had again repaired that whilst Tonks shouted her apologies to anyone who would listen)

Tripped over a total of 4 times

By the end of the meeting, even Dumbledore was smiling at the increasingly embarrassed Tonks with her beetroot face and constantly changing hair.

Now it was quiet. Very quiet.

Remus was fine with that, he liked quiet. Quiet couldn't break your heart or answer back. He lifted his cup of tea to his lips and sighed.

"What's up?" a cheery voice he recognised interrupted his silence.

The cup of tea jumped, spilling its contents down Remus's grey shabby robes. It only took Remus approximately 10 seconds to realise that it was his hand, and therefore himself that had jumped, and not the cup. A small hand passed him a flowery towel. Then Tonks tripped into the other armchair and beamed at him.

"Sorry" she smiled, "Couldn't resist making you jump"

Remus dabbed at the large wet patch on his robes and placed the mug on the small table next to him, then he pointed his wand at his chest and dried himself off.

"Guessing you didn't see the tea?" he asked, looking up into her beautiful heart-shaped face. He noticed she looked a little sheepish.

"Nope." She grinned again. "Ooh! I've just remembered something!"

She thrust her hands into her pockets as if looking for something. Remus felt immediately wary, last time he'd seen her do that, she had presented her cousin -whom she had not seen for 13 years because he was in Askaban- with a bottle of hair tonic, declaring his WANTED poster made him look as if he could use some. They had then had an interesting time trying to wash Sirius in his Snuffles form and got thoroughly soaked in the process, and had a great laugh at the same time.

Remus didn't think he'd laughed so much since his school days as a Maurauder, but in the last 2 weeks he had laughed more than his entire adult life, and all since meeting her.

"You've not bought me hair tonic have you?" he asked sceptically.

Tonks glared at him. Remus fought the impulse to laugh, again, Tonks looked about 10 years old when she was angry, and very cute.

Tonks smiled as she produced two bars of finest Honeydukes chocolate, slightly crushed, but otherwise unharmed. Then she produced two bottles of butterbeer.

"Madame Rosmerta's finest, all bottled up and ready to drink!" she declared handing him one of the bottles and a bar of chocolate.

They tapped bottles, then open the chocolate and both smiled at each other.

Remus Lupin realised then that he was hopelessly in love with Nymphadora Tonks and nothing could change that.

He also figured she would never be able to love him. He was too poor, too dangerous and too old. They would only ever be friends.

Neither noticed Sirius enter the kitchen. He took one silent look at his best friend sat opposite his wild unruly cousin, he saw the same look reflected on both of their faces. He left just as quietly, but with a sense of foreboding. Sirius felt like he had lost his best friend.

They were in love.


	3. Taking Action

Nymphadora Tonks fell into her sofa. Head first. She was trying to find her wand. She was supposed to be outside Privet Drive in 5 minutes and she was going to be late.

She cursed loudly.

If only she hadn't taken so long changing into her muggle disguise. Whilst everybody else just borrowed one of Mad-Eye's Invisibility Cloaks, Dumbledore suggested they make full use of being a Metamorphmagus and just, morph. So now, Tonks was slim and tall with a long face and a small pointy nose. She looked like a stretched pixie, and was not happy about it.

_Where is my bloody wand!_ She thought furiously

Suddenly she remembered. She had left it in her favourite jeans before she had changed into the A-line black skirt and tights she was wearing.

She raced upstairs and only tripped over twice. Personal record. She ran back down and fell the last two steps. She pushed her wand up the right sleeve of the dark purple coat she was wearing over her skirt and lilac t-shirt. She slipped her feet into the dolly shoes she had bought _– why the heck were they called dolly shoes, there were no dollies on them?_—and raced to her fire place. She shook her head and morphed her hair into long sleek, non-descript brown locks. She hated natural colours.

She grabbed her floo powder, then realised she only had enough for one trip. She threw it onto the fire and yelled her destination, vowing that next time, shed be better prepared, or just apparate.

……………………………………………….

Remus hated cats. As in absolutely _hated_ then. Yet here he was, waiting for the person who was taking over what Tonks had happily christened Potterwatch, in Mrs Figg's cat filled living room. Remus caught himself.

_You need to stop thinking about her_ he scolded himself.

The fire turned green and a young pixie like woman fell out, tangling herself up in the hideous green rug and scaring all of Figgy's cats.

Remus knew that he would have known who this young woman was even if she hadn't cursed loudly because he felt his heart skip a beat. No matter what face she wore, she was still completely Tonks.

_To hell I'm going to enjoy myself_ he thought. He stood up and offered his hand out to her.

"Good Evening Nymphadora." He said pleasantly. She narrowed her eyes at him, then she reached out her hand and pulled hard. Even though Remus had been expecting this, he still fell head first into the rug next to her. They both laughed, then Tonks jumped up and pointed her wand at his chest. She opened her mouth, but Remus guessed what she was going to say and interrupted her.

"I'm Remus John Lupin, A werewolf and part of the Order of the Phoenix. And…. The first time we met you had bright green hair and bought hair tonic for your cousin."

Tonks rolled her eyes at him, very obviously.

"NO! You idiot. What did I say to you in the hallway of H.Q, something about my name???" she asked with an evil cheeky grin, her eyes glinting.

""If you call me Nymphadora, I will hex you into next week"" he quoted with a smile "Something like that?"

She grinned at him, then sheathed her wand.

"You're lucky I'm late" she span round her skirt flying and ran out of the room.

"That's the kitchen" Remus called, standing up again. She laughed as she rushed back in then out of the other door, breaking a small table as she went. A quick _Reparo_ then Remus pulled the lid of the (cat) decorated jar on the fireplace for Floo powder and threw the powder into the open fireplace.

"Twelve Grimmauld Place"

Remus stepped out of the fire and hung his cloak on the stand next to the fireplace.

"You know Molly doesn't like the fire being used for the Floo."

Remus turned round to see Sirius sat at the table nursing a bottle of firewhisky and looking at him from across the room. Sirius motioned for him to sit down and summoned a butterbeer from the cupboard. Remus noticed that Sirius was looking decidedly rough and deduced that Dumbledore had forbidden his little jaunts around the square again.

_Here we go, the I-Wish-Dumbledore-Would-let-me rant_ thought Remus bitterly.

"What do you think of Tonks?" sprang Sirius. Remus felt wrong-footed and extremely confused. He was expecting something about _Dumbledore_, where the _heck_ did _Tonks_ come into it? Sirius was looking at him expectantly.

"Umm, what?" Remus stammered. Sirius just raised his eyebrows and sat back.

"She's…. umm… great fun….and…" Remus managed to say before Sirius held up his hand shaking his head.

"Oh no you don't" he said. Remus fell silent. "Fine, let me re-phrase, how do you _feel_ about her?"

Remus looked at Sirius with his mouth open, not able to form the words he was shouting in his head: _WHAT???_

"I am not stupid Remus, You have been my best friend since First Year at Hogwarts, and the look in your eyes nowadays has progressed to something I don't know." Continued Sirius. Remus noticed there was a small amount of resentment in his best friend's voice. "To begin with it was the I-am-not-going-to-fall-in-love look that we all saw back in Gryffindor common room, but then the girls would lose interest and you keeping your heart locked up in casket meant that you never _had_ to fall in love. What's changed this time Moony?"

Remus noticed that Sirius looked furious. He saw that the bottle of firewhisky was empty and a quick glance to the corner proved that Sirius had drunk at least 5 bottles. He would wake up with one _hell_ of a hangover tomorrow and (hopefully) wouldn't remember this conversation.

"I don't know" he replied simply, than took the last bottle away from Sirius and cast a quick sleeping spell over his best friend. He left him slumped across the table and went up to bed, with only his thoughts and Sirius's words to mull over, what _had_ changed?


	4. Harry

Everyone was sat around the table in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place and everyone was talking, laughing and enjoying themselves. Except Remus. To his annoyment, Sirius had not forgotten their conversation two evenings ago, and was now watching him at every opportunity, which meant that every time Remus looked at Tonks whilst she wasn't talking for more than a minute in Sirius's company, Sirius would either attempt talking to him or merely clear his throat.

Remus was watching Tonks now, but felt he had fair reason to. Tonks was morphing her nose for the entertainment of Ginny and Hermione. He watched her undisturbed for a few minutes laughing along with everyone else at her Pig Snouts and Duck Bills before he felt Sirius's very pointed gaze. Reluctantly he tore his eyes away and stared at his plate registering the dark coloured sploges on his plate as meat and veg. He didn't notice anyone else enter the room until he heard all of the women – Tonks included- gasp as one. He looked up.

Mundungus Fletcher was stood in the centre of the kitchen with a large red swelling on his forehead and Mad-Eye's spare invisibility cloak under his arm.

"Harry?... _Dementor_ attack?" gasped the women, Remus silently thanked Merlin coz this meant that he knew enough to jump up like everyone else.

Dumbledore stood up, furious.

"Everybody stay where they are, I am going to the Ministry to sort this out!" He fumed, then swept out of the room. Everyone sat back down.

Everyone except Molly, who fell back into her chair and began hyperventilating. Tonks pushed her chair back and ran round to her friend, followed by the Weasley's and Hermione. Tonks twirled her wand and magiced a paper bag which she thrust into Molly's hands.

"Remus, Tea" she hissed at him, putting her arms around Molly and trying to keep her calm. Remus jumped up, knocking his chair over and ran to the kettle. Remus heard Molly gasping for air.

"Arthur…still…at work, and…Harry…attacked…by…Dementors" She gasped and stammered. Remus pushed the scalding cup of tea into Molly's hands.

He turned back to his chair just in time to see Sirius turn into a big black dog.

"Sirius" he warned. Kingsley jumped up and managed to shut the door before Sirius could slip through. Remus ran to join Kingsley and drew his wand.

Sirius growled menacingly his feet planted.

"Don't be a fool Sirius" Remus said.

"Dumbledore will sort this out, he always does." Reasoned Kingsley.

"If you shift, than we can all talk together" called Tonks from across the room.

"Yes" agreed Remus knowing Sirius would shift, even if it was just to argue.

Sirius narrowed his dark eyes at Remus and Kingsley, then turned and growled in the general direction of Tonks, before he shifted. He ignored everyone as he straightened up and strode back to the table. Neither Remus, nor Kingsley sheathed their wands.

Sirius was sat rigid and tapping his foot impatiently. Remus saw Tonks watching Sirius, her eyes filled with worry, she continued soothing Molly, who could now breathe and was merely sobbing quietly into her hankie.

"I want to go to Harry" Sirius said hotly.

"You can't go" Kingsley responded.

Remus felt uneasy. He knew Sirius very well and could tell by the set of his jaw and his rigid, clenched fists that Sirius was fighting every nerve in his body against his instinct to run, act then think later. In the end he knew Sirius would shout and/or break something.

"Why not?" shot back Sirius "I'm his _Godfather_, I'm _supposed_ to look after him. How can I do that if I'm stuck _here_?? Hey?"

"Sirius, you need to stay in the …." Remus started. Sirius jumped to his feet, Remus imagined a thin jet of steam shooting out of his ears.

"HARRY NEED ME! HE IS STUCK AT THE DURSLEY'S…"

"Sirius" Tonks had jumped to her feet and was stood facing him across the table. "Stop shouting, it will not do you any good"

Sirius stood with his mouth open, staring at her as, in her anger, Tonks morphed into the only women he had ever listened too.

Andromeda Tonks was stood opposite.

And she was _fuming._ It seemed the famous Black temper had not escaped Tonks.

"_Harry_" she whispered, but as the entire room was silent anyway, everyone heard her "Harry wouldn't want to see you _shouting_ at your _best friend_, and treating him like a _House-Elf_, _Would_ he?"

Sirius shook his head then sat down, completely humiliated into submission by his 13 years junior cousin. Remus had never see Sirius calm down so quickly from one of his rages, and felt a rush of gratitude to Tonks.

Tonks was still speaking.

"As for Harry needing you, all he'll want is a letter. But only if _Dumbledore_ says you can write. Meanwhile, Remus and I will go to Privet Drive and keep watch for you, _OK_?" She was shaking out her hair as it returned to her (currently) normal violet colour.

Hermione stepped forward, Tonks seemed to have taken control of the situation and it was to Tonks that her question was posed.

"What shall we do if Harry writes to _us_?" she asked quietly, indicating herself and Ron, Ron looked like someone had hit him over the head with a Troll Club.

Tonks looked uneasy.

"You'll have to not write back, you can't tell Harry anything because Dumbledore has forbidden it, but how else can you explain it? So unless Albus says any different, don't write back" she said uncomfortably.

"Dung, can I have the invisibility cloak?" Remus asked, attempting to divert attention from Tonks, she looked up, grateful for the change of subject. Mundungus shuffled forward and passed the cloak over. Remus go up and together they walked to the door.

"Tonks dear," called Molly. Tonks turned. "Thank You."

They walked up the steps to the hall and crept towards the front door. Tonks opened it, then shot a cheeky grin in his direction before morphing then apparating.

The last thing Remus heard from twelve Grimmauld Place was Molly, asking Mundungus exactly why he hadn't helped Harry when the Dementors attacked, in an extremely icy voice.

……………………………………………………………..

Tonks sat down on the bench opposite number six Privet Drive and pulled a book out of her bag. She cast a quick glance around her then opened her book, pushing her long black hair out of her face. The night was warm and beautiful. She sighed.

"Interesting?" asked the warm cheery voice she had grown so accustomed to recently. She shifted up so Remus could sit comfortably in the Invisibility Cloak.

"Deathly Dull, Arthur lent it to me, it's about... um…Aeroplanes?" she whispered to him smiling.

"I guess the Muggles would notice if the cover moved" he admitted in another whisper.

Tonks smiled. Remus had been a bit, distant for the past couple of days and it had felt really odd, now he was talking to her, like normal. She'd missed the laughing Remus who had paid attention to her and took her jokes seriously meaning _she_ got a laugh, not just everyone around her. She felt now as if he was back, and felt a rush of warmth around her body.

"You looked pretty zoned back at HQ" she murmured, barley moving her lips but she knew he would hear her, he always did. "What's wrong?"

Remus didn't answer her.

"I'll do a quick spell, be right back" he muttered then heaved himself from the bench and walked away.

Tonks felt tears prick the corners of her eyes. _He doesn't want to talk to me because I interfere too much. _She though helplessly.

She couldn't have been more wrong.

Right Now, thousands of contrasting thoughts and arguments were buzzing round his head like bees, and all of them about Nymphadora Tonks.

Remus Lupin was struggling to stop his heart from ruling his head.

To him it was a bizarre sensation.

_Why would she love you?_ Sneered his head

_She talks to me and likes me_ whispered his heart, years of bullying had made his heart a weaker character than his head.

_As a FRIEND_ crowed his head _she will never like you more, so give it up._

_She says we're the same_ his heart pulled up a memory of the first time he saw her morph. The memory shattered as the Wolf in Remus's brain joined the argument.

_Stop._ He growled. _You are a_ dark creature _Remus Lupin._

_Hear Hear_ chorused his head eagerly

_Stop Ganging up_ shrieked his heart as Remus tuned out the internal battle raging.

But what about Sirius, if he had been able to tell Remus had fallen in love, then who else had?

Could Remus risk loosing his remaining best friend in favour of the brilliant witch who had stolen his heart?

……………………………………………..

They were stood together, side-by-side, again. Sirius stood and watched as Remus glanced down at Tonks, then quickly away again.

Sirius felt guilty for his drunken outburst the other night.

Both were clutching broomsticks and were the only ones who seemed to be ready to leave. They were merely waiting for Mad-Eyes signal.

"Did you remember to post the Dursley's letter?" asked Remus suddenly, turning to Tonks. She rolled her eyes dramatically at him. Remus had been periodically asking her the same question for half an hour.

"What do you think I did? Throw it down the drain?" was her sharp sarcastic reply. Instead of looking affronted, Remus looked merely amused.

Sirius saw the light in both of their eyes as they looked at each other and decided once and for all, that tonight he was going to talk to his best friend again, this time to apologise.

Most people wouldn't notice. Sirius cast a quick cursory glance around the assembled order members and saw Molly Weasley gazing intently at Tonks. She saw her eyes flickering from one to the other, then she turned sharply away to chivvy her daughter upstairs.

Sirius was sure Molly had now figured it out.

But maybe Tonks had told her, despite the large age gap, Tonks and Molly had become fast friends, maybe Tonks had already talked…

……………………………………………..

_Sirius was watching me and Remus_ again thought Tonks as she materialised in the Dursley's pristine kitchen. Most of the Advance Guard were already here and she felt surprised by the absence of cups in the sink, or dirt stains on the table, this kitchen was so clean it was unnatural.

Remus appeared next to her with a small pop.

Mad-Eye cast a quick head count and then reversed the muffling charm he had placed onto the kitchen to get everyone there. He turned as Remus approached him to talk about getting Harry safely to HQ.

She turned away, and picked up one of the Grotesque plates from the sideboard.

"Tonks" whispered Emmeline Vance, touching her arm.

Tonks jumped a mile, dropping the plate. Before anyone could react, the plate hit the floor with a resounding CRASH!

Remus was next to her in a second, wand out to repair the damage and prevent Tonks from breaking anything else.

"Well done Tonks," he murmured "You are _officially_ the clumsiest…"

"Not now Remus" Growled Mad-Eye, his magical eye focused on the back of his head. "Thanks to Nymphadora, Potter now know we are here…"

He turned and stumped out of the room. Remus replaced the plate and looked at Tonks, eyebrows raised.

"It was a bloody awful plate anyway" she muttered, unable to control the colour rising in her cheeks "Why couldn't you have just left it?" Remus smiled, together they left the room and joined the small crowd of people at the bottom of the staircase.

All she could see was the dark. She was squashed between Remus and Mad-eye. She didn't mind Remus that much, but Mad-Eye was _so_ not her type.

………………………………………………

The journey back to Grimmauld Place had been almost unbearable, Mad-Eye had been shouting random instructions from his perch above the Advance Guard and seemed quite unaware (or enjoying) his companions obvious discomfort on their brooms. Remus had been overjoyed to enter the dark, musty hall, at least it was warm.

Molly Weasley had hurried up from the kitchen to greet Harry with a warm hug.

"He's here" she whispered over Harry's shoulder to the gathered Order members "The meetings about to start"

Remus carefully and quietly put his end of Harry's trunk on the carpet and motioned for Tonks to copy him. He could see that she was surprised she hadn't woken her cousins crazy mother up. He decided they would strive for two miracles and try to get her down to the kitchen without her tripping over the troll leg stand. They managed to get down to the kitchen without falling over.

"Well done Dora" Teased Remus as they sat down "You made it to the bottom without falling, injuring me or hurting yourself in the process!"

Tonks laughed and mock punched his arm, but Remus could see the genuine delight in her eyes, although he wasn't sure why.

Molly bustled back into the room and cast a silent spell over the doorway. Remus knew that her twin sons had invented Extendable Ears and been using them to eavesdrop on the meetings.

When Molly's face had turned as red as her hair, Remus and Tonks had hastily disappeared to attend to some made-up urgent business. Remus had witnessed first hand

the famous Prewett temper at work and had no desire to witness Molly's interpretation of her hereditary anger.

Using the babble of conversation Remus cast his eyes over the room and paused on the small window on street level near the roof.

"Do you think they know about the window?" he asked Tonks quietly. She turned to the window with her head on one side.

"nah, too far away." Suddenly it seemed to dawn on her what he was asking. She turned in her seat to face him, a cheeky grin on her lips.

"Remus Lupin! Are you attempting to assist your predecessors?"

Before he could reply, Albus stood up to begin the meeting and both of them stopped talking to listen.

…………………………………………………………………..

Molly Weasley was exhausted.

She had been up with the dawn chorus to clean the kitchen before breakfast and found none other than Nymphadora Tonks sat at the table with natural brown hair, gazing absently into space and doodling onto a piece of parchment. Molly was instantly worried, Tonks with brown hair was always a bad thing. She knew instinctively that the young woman wanted to talk, normally Molly was the only person up at this time in the morning. She looked at her watch and sat down, waiting quietly for her to begin talking.

And so Tonks talked.

Then she had made breakfast for her un-usually bad-tempered brood and for the members of the Order who had stayed over, she had cleaned the kitchen afterwards.

She had cleaned the Dining Room with the help of her children and Hermione and seen the twins enchanting the back of Ron's shirt to read "Nosy Owl". This had been followed by a furious argument about Practical Jokes and Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

She had then been roped into helping Sirius with a _Scrougify_ Charm in Buckbeak's room (she had only agreed because she didn't want the children in there and Fred and George were just down right irresponsible).

Then she had helped to organise the Advance Guard for picking up Harry, and closely watched Tonks before realising _who_ she had been talking about at 6:30 AM.

After they had left for Little Whinging, Molly had busied herself in the kitchen with Ginny and Hermione cooking dinner for after the meeting and pulling the various drinks out of the cupboards and setting them on the sideboards for later.

She had barley sat down when members of the order began arriving, needing tea and cookies.

The meeting had been about to start when Molly had heard voices in the hall and hurried up to greet Harry and tell his Guard the meeting was starting. She had wrapped him up in a hug and was a little shocked –once again- that she could feel Harry's bones. She had sent him upstairs to Ron and Hermione when she just wanted to wrap him up and keep him safe.

Now she was helping Remus and Tonks re-seal the door as people left. Right now, all she wanted to do was catch up on sleep, she had Guard Duty the night before last, but instead she let her mothering nature take over. She needed to serve dinner, then everyone would go to bed. She turned as her 4 red-headed children, Hermione and Harry tip-toed down the stairs and was directing them into the kitchen when…

CRASH!!

_Tonks_! She thought and spun round to see Tonks sprawled onto the floor next to the Troll leg umbrella stand.

"Tonks!" she cried, not attempting to be quiet now. She rushed forwards and grabbed the curtain as it flew back to reveal the drooling, bulging eyed woman in a Victorian cap.

"I'm sorry" Tonks wailed, dragging the umbrella stand back up and pushing it into the alcove. She darted back into the kitchen.

Mrs Black had woken up, and didn't seem very pleased about it,

"Filth, Scum! By-products of dirt and vileness! Half-Breeds, Mutants, freaks, begone from this place! How dare you befoul the house of my Fathers-"

Mrs Weasley gave up and leaving Remus to fetch reinforcements. She stunned the portraits along the corridor as she went. She ran down to the kitchen where she stood in the doorway, chest heaving, and surveyed the room.

"Sirius?" she asked in a weary voice "Could you shut your mother up?"


	5. Never underestimate the power of Love

Molly pretty much marched the children from the kitchen up to bed leaving an uncomfortable silence behind.

Sirius was wondering whether he had said too much.

Arthur was wondering if Molly would shout at him for not taking her side of the argument.

Remus was wondering whether they should dis-obey Dumbledore and tell Harry about the Department of Mysteries.

Tonks was wondering who was going to break the silence first. She wanted to go up to bed.

As it was, Tonks was the first to yawn loudly and leave with a cheery "Nightie Nighty!" and a thud as she tripped over her chair.

Kingsley too made his goodbyes and left the house.

Mundungus Fletcher left not long after that, muttering about a batch of cauldrons he needed to find a hiding place for.

Only Remus, Arthur and Sirius remained, none of them wanting to talk.

Molly appeared in the doorway, shooting evil looks at her husband and Sirius as she entered and set about cleaning the kitchen. All three of them winced as she dropped the plates loudly into the sink. Remus stood up slowly, ignoring Arthur's warning glances, nor Sirius's mock-scared expression. He approached Molly and put his hand on Molly's shoulder, she turned around, a dangerous glint in her brown eyes.

"Molly," Remus began soflty, sure to phrase this exactly right, or Molly would blow her fuse "You've had a long day, why don't you and Arthur get some sleep, I'll finish up here."

She sighed and nodded.

"Thank you Remus" she yawned and walked towards the table where Arthur got up to meet her. He looked over his shoulder and mouthed a silent thank you to Remus. Sirius pretended to shudder as Molly shot him a mutinous look at him as she passed.

If looks could kill, thought Remus as he set the dishes washing themselves.

"Don't wind her up Sirius, remember the tempers her brothers had whilst we were at Hogwarts…" Remus shuddered at the memories of shouting matches in the common room of Gryffindor Tower.

Sirius laughed abruptly, sounding more like a dog than ever.

"They were evil, especially when James was involved!" Sirius chuckled and the pair fell into silence.

Remus was wondering how he could open the subject he'd got Molly and Arthur out of the way for.

Luckily for him, Sirius was the one who chose the nex subject of conversation.

"Remus?" He started haltingly "I want to… apologise for what I said to you the other night, about Tonks."

Remus nodded "don't worry Padfoot, you were drunk."

Sisius shook his head, his long matted hair whipping around.

"That's no excuse for talking to you like that!" Sirius shot "I just feel a little….protective over her because to me she is like a little sister now…" Sirius's voice became softer as he spoke next "But I've watched you, with her. I'm sorry."

Remus had expected another shouting match and was quite stumped by Sirius's reaction. In the old days, Sirius would never have apologised for something he said.

Proves how much people change Remus thought.

"And I just wanted to ask you this. Padfoot?"

"Yes Moony?"

"Have you ever been in love?"

Sirius laughed and shook his head.

"Ever?" Remus asked dis-believing.

"Nope!"

"Then you don't know how it feels" Remus said softly, staring at his clasped hands on the table. "And I can't fight it anymore"

"You know what?" asked Sirius stretching back in his chair "I never thought I would ever see you in love Remus. James was a given, he loved Lily from 4th year, but you? No I never could imagine you with anyone, nor Wormtail, nor I in fact. I had my girlfriends, but you never even let anyone get close enough to mean something too. You never trusted enough and used your lycanthropy as an escape route, and excuse not to get close to someone." He stopped and leant forwards again. "But with Tonks? You told her straight away, and you've been like a different person when she's not around but she didn't care, she likes you despite the … wolfyness…"

Remus spluttered into the tea he had just raised to his lips.

"_Wolfyness?"_

Sirius shrugged. They sat quietly for a moment sipping their respective drinks before Sirius spoke again.

"Now all you have to do is get Andromeda… permission"

Remus shuddered. He had only seen Andromeda Black –now Tonks- from a distance whilst he had been at school. She hadn't been sorted into Slytherin, like the rest of her family, but Hufflepuff. Even then Remus had been too scared to even be in the vicinity when she had wanted to talk to Sirius.

Sirius laughed then patted his friend on the shoulder.

"She's not so bad" he paused, then added "When she's in a good mood…"

…………………………………………….

Tonks bounded down the stairs from her room in Grimmauld Place, her long, sky blue hair swinging behind her. She decided to jump the last few steps into the kitchen and ended up sprawled on top of a very surprised Remus Lupin. Laughing at his expression she rolled off him and pushed herself up.

"Sorry" she apologized, offering him her hand.

"Not at all" He wheezed "I'm quite accustomed to being knocked of my feet by you"

Tonks laughed.

"Right" she declared suddenly as inspiration struck "We ARE going out for a drink tonight" Remus looked confused.

"Why?"

"Well, I need to make up for knocking you off your feet…again… so we are going to the Three Broomsticks for a drink." She clarified, jumping up and down like a kid at Christmas.

When she saw the corners of his mouth twitch she knew she had won.

"Okay then _Nymphadora_ meet you here after you've finished work?" Tonks screeched excitedly, then threw her arms around his neck and she spun round to face the door then completed the circle till she was facing him again.

"Remus?"

"Yes Dora?"

"What number are we on now?"

Remus laughed. Tonks grinned widely then ran up the stairs and straight out the front door. She stood on the doorstep then punched the air happily before apparating to the ministry.

………………………………………..

Remus was nervous, stupidly nervous. He tried telling himself that it was just because he hadn't been to the Three Broomsticks since he had taught at Hogwarts, but he knew it was because this was the first time since his Marauder days he was going on –for all intents and purposes- a date.

His eyes flickered involuntarily towards the clock on the mantelpiece. Half 4.

"Merlin Moony! Its only been 5 minutes since you last looked!" Sirius said amazed.

A silvery patronus floated down and landed on the table, it opened its mouth and called Tonks message in her cheery voice:

_Wotcher Remus! Hope you don't mind if Kingsley comes along, do you? He _says_ he wants to have your opinion on some Auror business, likely story. Patty back! Tonks_

Remus stared as the patronus vanished in a puff of smoke. He felt an odd, inexperienced sensation in his stomach ….Disappointment he realised. To hide his feelings he decided to act dumb.

"Patty back?" he asked the only other occupant. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Patronus back"

Remus pulled out his wand and sent his reply by Silvery Wolf. He felt like kicking himself, there was a _13 year_ age gap between himself and Tonks, she obviously only felt for him as a friend… Why had he imagined her feeling more?

……………………………………………

Tonks was irritated with Kingsley Shacklebolt. He had pretty much invited himself along to the pub when Tonks had mentioned she was coming, and then asked if Remus would mind – _of course he would mind, but he's too noble a prat to say no!—_it had been an accident that she'd told him, then he'd mentioned some "Urgent business he needed to discuss with her". _Yeah Right_.

She blamed her mother. After Tonks had entered the Auror office, Mrs Tonks had asked Kingsley to keep and eye on her daughter, and he had done so ever since. There probably wasn't and urgent business, just Kingsley wanting to know why she was meeting Remus Lupin in the Three Broomsticks on a Tuesday Mid-August, more than likely so he could report back to her mother…

"Nosy Sod" muttered Tonks under her breath as she pushed open the door to the pub. Kingsley chuckled, knowing full well this was directed at him. He wandered of towards the back of the pub whilst Tonks headed to the bar to but the drinks, muttering half-formed Shacklebolt directed insults under her breath.

"What's up?" a cheery voice interrupted her muttering. She looked up, directly into the grey, sparkling eyes of Remus Lupin –great now I'm turning into one of these lovestruck girls, I'll be saying they're like grey moons next! – she felt her heart beat faster and she hoped to some God that being a werewolf hadn't increased his senses. Tonks shrugged.

"Nothing much, just muttering insults about Kingsley Shacklebolt." She jabbed her thumb over her shoulder to indicate that he was over there…somewhere. Remus paused in unbuttoning his coat, his face confused.

"But, didn't you _invite_ Kingsley to come?" he asked.

"Hell No!" she answered turning to Remus with a look of obvious disbelief "Kingsley invited himself, as usual."

Remus nodded and sat down on a bar stool, luckily for them, Rosmerta noticed Tonks's blue hair and wandered over for a chat.

"Hey Rosmerta!" Tonks grinned. She watched as the barmaids eyes flickered from Tonks to Remus then back again and then the conclusion draw itself behind those eyes, Rosmerta smiled.

"What can I get you?"

"Firewhisky, A butterbeer – coz anything else and Remus gets drunk-"

"HEY!" Remus retorted as Rosmerta bent over laughing.

"- and a ..gillywater please Rosmerta." Tonks continued as if he hadn't spoken.

As Rosmerta bustled off to fetch their drinks, Tonks felt a sharp jab in her side, she turned to face Remus, attempting to keep a straight face, but one look at his sent her reeling into peels of laughter, before long Remus was laughing too, neither of them noticed Rosmerta bringing the drinks back, set them on the bar, then study them closely.

"You know? You two really are a lovely couple!"

Tonks and Remus stopped laughing and turned to face her.

"We're not a couple" Remus said abruptly, staring at the grains of the wooden bar. Rosmerta shook her head and raised her eyebrows at Tonks in an "yeah right" sort of way. Tonks paid the money.

Tonks felt disappointed. This _proved_ he only liked her as a friend and his best friends young cousin.

_Come on_ she thought bitterly _I am_ 13 years _younger than him_!

……………………………………

**3****rd**** Person**

Kingsley left first.

Tonks and Remus didn't leave till nightfall, both slightly tipsy but not drunk. They made their way to the door, pulling on coats.

"See ya Rosmerta!" called Tonks to the barmaid who turned to wave her friends out.

_They make an unlikely pairing_ thought Rosmerta head on one side, _But there is no pattern or sense to love is there?_

The door swung shut behind them.

"Bloomin' Merlin!" exclaimed Tonks gazing up to the sky " when the hell did it get dark?"

Remus looked up from his coat buttons and saw Tonks stood with her arms wide and her face turned up to the waning moon with her eyes closed and a half-smile. He stared. She dropped he arms and opened her eyes as she faced him.

They moved towards each other and met in the middle.

Rosmerta smiled satisfied and bobbed her head back into her pub before either of them noticed.

After what could have been days, hours of maybe even months, they pulled apart. Tonks face radiated happiness and Remus's heart put a number 1 on the scoreboard of his brain.

Remus opened his mouth to speak, but Tonks, guessing what he was about to say shushed him.

"I don't kiss just _anyone_ like that" she whispered clearly.


	6. Fight for life

There were 5 people at HQ.

Tonks was entertaining them all by pretending to teach a transfiguration class, as Professor McGonagall, complete with tight bun and spectacles. Even Mad-Eye was smiling at her uncanny interpretation to her old transfiguration teacher.

Remus thought that the pink shirt and jeans ruined the overall effect.

"Minerva really wouldn't appreciate that Dora!" spluttered Remus, grasping his side and gasping for breath in the one break he had had in continual laughing.

"Mr Lupin" called Tonks-as-McGonagall- looking at him sternly over the top of her glasses "Might I remind you to raise your hand if you wish to speak."

The room collapsed into fresh peals of laughter again. Sirius wiped his eyes then raised his hand.

"Mr Black?" Tonks pointed her wand at him.

"Just wanted to know how Minerva was getting on." He said seriously.

Tonks dropped her morph and became Pink-haired and pale faced again before sitting down at the table next to Remus.

"Doing as well as expected" she said. Kingsley nodded; he and Tonks had been to see Minerva a few hours before. "She _did_ take 4 stunners to the chest."

Remus put his hand on his girlfriends arm and rubbed it soothingly. She smiled gratefully at him. He knew that she had been good friends with the older woman and that it upset her to see her so helpless.

"Seeing you couldn't have made her feel any better" growled Mad-Eye. Tonks poked her tongue out at him then opened her mouth to argue. Remus strengthened his grip of her arm and indicated the growing flame in the centre of the table. As it died down, a letter was left on its place. It was hastily written and Remus found it difficult to read:

_Whoever is at HQ_ –read the letter—

_The Dark Lord has succeeded in luring Potter into the department of mysteries, he was trying to contact HQ after having a "vision" of torturing Black, Dolores Umbrigde caught him and Summoned me where she demanded Veriteserum. Potter used code to relay what he had seen, but I could not respond. I saw Potter and Granger leading Umbridge into the forbidden forest._

_I will search the forest; send anyone at HQ to the DoM just in case._

_SIRIUS STAY THERE, Dumbledore will be coming shortly._

_Severus Snape_

Sirius leapt up, followed by Tonks. Remus stayed where he was, wondering how to work "Sirius stay here" into a way that Sirius _wouldn't_ rip his head off…

"Sirius" began Kingsley warily "perhaps you should…"

"stay here?" hissed Sirius his eye popping with anger.

Mad-Eye nodded. They waited for the explosion.

"Harry _needs_ us _now_" he yelled. Tonks took a step back.

Remus looked at her pointedly. Tonks shook her head and smiled apologetically. Last time Sirius had "blown his top" it had been Tonks who'd calmed him down, she had a temper to match his easily.

"We have to go, come on men!" she called, running up the stairs "Voldy's Death Eaters won't wait!"

Remus jumped up and followed Tonks and Sirius out of the kitchen and out of the house, pausing only to pull Tonks up from the floor.

_Only Tonks would call him "Voldy!"_ he thought, laughing privately to himself.

…………………………………………………

They appeared in the Atarium of the Ministry of Magic and rushed straight to the lifts, wands drawn and at the ready.

Tonks was mentally calling on all of her Auror training and all of her lessons from Hogwarts to get her through the coming battle. She flicked the ends of her short hair back and morphed her hair shorter and more cropped to her head for convenience purposes.

"Department of Mysteries" said the cool female voice as the grille swung open, spilling it occupants into the corridor. They stood and stared at the black door, then took a deep breath and prowled towards the door.

"Who's meant to be on duty tonight?" whispered Kingsley as they passed through the door. It swung automatically behind them and the walls began to spin so fast it was a blur.

"Deadulus Diggle" growled Mad-Eye, gazing at the many doors that had materialized. "Now which door is it?"

Tonks stepped forwards "allow me." She laid her wand flat on her palm and whispered "point me Harry Potter." Her wand stayed where it was so she assumed that Harry was behind the door directly in front.

"Good Luck." She whispered to everyone. Remus's hand squeezed hers then Sirius lead the charge into the room beyond.

The room was filled with lights flashing green, red and purple. The seats were tiered and most of the fighting was going off down at the bottom of the room. She could see Harry clutching a glass orb and battling 2 death eaters at once. She shot a spell at Lucius Malfoy and the Death Eaters seemed to suddenly realise that the Order was there. Her Aunt Bellatrix was cackling like the witches in muggle stories and casting spells, random flashes of green seemed to radiate from her position on the floor.

_Target locked_ thought Tonks, hopping down to some lower levels.

Bellatrix spun around as Tonks stunner charm whizzed past her right ear. She cackled again and began to twirl her wand.

_Let the battle commence._

"Ah if it isn't Itty Bitty Baby Dora!" Bellatrix screeched shooting concentrated rays of green light. Both woman began to twirl and dodge, twirl and dodge, attempting to outwit their opponent. Bellatrix kept calling out to Tonks, trying to distract her. 3 years of training meant she could focus, and _will_ focus on the battle and not the words.

"I shall never leave your family be…-"

_Flick, spin and dodge._

"- your mother is a filthy mudblood lover!...-"

_Flick, spin, dodge._

"I will set my friend Fenir Greyback on them…-"

_Flick, spin and dodge._

"…he's a bloodthirsty werewolf….-"

…_Werewolf…, Remus! _Tonks concentration was broke. She shot a half look at Remus, fighting down below.

She didn't see the grin break across her Aunt's face.

She didn't hear the words she spoke.

The world went black for Nymphadora Tonks as she fell backwards.

……………………………………………………….

Remus was fighting his own battle, with Lucius Malfoy. Both were skilled at duelling at neither felt like giving up. Remus though violently on one of James spells that he had taught the Marauders in third year.

Malfoy was hit squarely in the chest and he froze, before falling suddenly to the ground. Remus wrapped him up in ropes and immobilized him in the unlikely event that he woke up before turning to find his next opponent. Harry was pulling Neville up the stone steps on the other side of the dais.

The world suddenly seemed to go in slow motion. He saw the stunner that Bellatrix fired hit Sirius squarely on his chest.

He saw the smile fade from his longest friends face.

He saw him fall backwards through the archway.

He saw Harry turn and run, no longer clutching the prophecy.

Remus acted impulsively and threw his arms around Harry's chest, stopping him from leaping through the archway after his godfather. It took every ounce of his strength to keep Harry where he was, Harry didn't seem to realise that it wasn't just a veil.

Harry didn't seem to realise that the words Remus spoke were to stop him rushing after his best friend as much as Remus was trying to stop Harry from leaping after his godfather. Harry relaxed enough for Remus to pull him away towards Neville.

Remus cast the counter-charm to release Neville Longbottom's flailing legs, he was tired, he wanted this fight to be over and he wanted Dora, to know she was safe.

He was talking softly to Neville when he felt Harry's arm twist away from him.

"Harry No!" he cried watching helplessly as Harry jumped up after the disappearing figure of Bellatrix Lestrange.

"Albus!" he yelled, turning around to see Dumbledore casting a binding, non-apparating spell over the assembled Death Eaters. Dumbledore turned. "Harry has gone chasing Lestrange!"

Dumbledore nodded, his face grim. Remus saw Kingsley pick himself up from the ground slowly and wincing. Remus watched Dumbledore ascend the stone steps and disappear through the door on the top layer of stone seats.

He looked around to see if anyone needed help. Mad-Eye was dragging his body across to a motionless figure at the base of the…. _Tonks_!

He felt like he had been dropped into a vat of icy water as he saw her, lying there, with one leg bent at a bizarre angle.

He ran forward and dropped to her side. Her eyelids fluttered briefly then opened.

"Wotcher Remus!" she croaked, her face scrunched up in pain.

She managed to smile weakly before fainting.

**A/N please can someone review this chapter, if you think it could be made better in any way, please tell me ******


	7. Pain

Andromeda Tonks had been sat by her daughters bedside for 3 hours now and she really needed the toilet.

_Damn Ted,_ she thought, her husband had gone up to the café half and hour ago and had yet to come back. She looked over her shoulder.

Remus Lupin, an old friend of her cousin Sirius's, was sat on the hard back chair in the corner of the room, his young but lined face taunt with worry and loss. He hadn't moved in the last 2 hours since he had finished talking to herself and Ted, his head was in his hands and his eyes fixed on the floor.

Andromeda had rushed into St Mungos hospital after a floo call from the Ministry of Magic saying her daughter had been admitted and been forced to wait in the lobby whilst the WelcomeWitch had tried finding her on the emergency patients.

Then a face Andromeda Tonks hadn't seen since her Hogwarts days, looking older and more lined, appeared in the doorway from the wards and had introduced himself as Remus Lupin, an old friend of her cousins.

He had explained how and why Nymphadora had been injured on the way to her ward, once inside Andromeda had sat by her childs bedside whilst Ted had questioned Remus further.

She had cried when she learnt her daughter had known the cousin she hadn't seen for 13 years and she cried for her daughter, whos face was pale white and her hair her natural mousey brown.

Remus Lupin had asked for only 2 things, that they trust him, and for him to talk to Tonks and be the one to tell her about Sirius.

Andromeda may have been delirious with worry, but her womanly senses were on high alert, noticing things Ted – being a bloke- wouldn't have noticed. She saw the light in Remus's eyes when he looked at Dora, she heard the warmth in his voice.

She knew then that if Dora would be in good hands.

"Excuse me, Mr Lupin?" she called softly across the room. He seemed to jump and lifted his head, his eyes bloodshot and puffy.

"Please" he said quietly "call me Remus." His voice had the disused, fluey sound to it.

_Hes very polite_ thought Andromeda compiling a list of good things that she could use when Ted decided that Dora wasn't allowed a boyfriend. _That's good._

"Remus." She smiled at him "I wonder if you would sit with Nymphadora"—she saw the corners of his mouth twitch and guessed that he had heard all about her childs hatred of her given name – "I need to find Ted, and I think she would probably prefer seeing a face who knows what she's been through. Would you mind?"

Remus stood up and bowed his head. "Not at all Mrs Tonks." He said quietly.

She stood up and strode to the doors on the opposite side of the ward, pausing only to turn.

Remus had Dora's hand and was shaking slightly.

_He deserves love_ she thought grimly, remembering the quiet studious boy from her school days, often seen in the library.

…………………………………………….

**Tonks POV**

Someone was crying nearby. I could hear them.

Was I dead?

Then I remembered: Battle, the kids!

I sat up quickly searching for my wand automatically as my eyes flashed open.

It only took me a few seconds to realise I was in St Mungo's, after all, I had been here many times before. I sank back into the pillows, feeling foolish and glad that the other beds in the room were unoccupied.

I looked to my right and found the source of the crying.

I was instantly worried, Remus never cried, I had never seen him cry in the year I'd know him. Yet he was crying.

"Remus?" I asked warily, propping myself up and grabbing the hand that I had discarded whilst I was unconscious. "Are the kids alright?"

Remus nodded slowly, fresh tears springing to his eyes.

I leapt out of bed, feeling a sharp pain in my right knee as I put my arms around his shoulders.

"Ow!" I muttered rubbing my knee. Remus lauged thickly "Oi!" I scolded "Don't laugh at other peoples discomfort!"

He smiled at me, tears flowing down his face. I hated seeing him like this.

"What happened Remus?" I asked softly.

"Y-y-you f-f-fell, broke your leg" he stuttered "Lucky, Healer says, you blacked out and managed to keep your body healing , or something like that….B-b-but S-s-sirius, he wasn't so lucky…"

I nodded, there was an icy feeling that was slowly creeping to my heart.

"H-h-he's g-g-g-gone Dora!" he sobbed, I tightened my grip on his shoulders, unable to do more. "he fell through the archway. That … _cow_… Lestrange...killed him!"

I felt horrible, like someone had flipped my heart onto the floor, I had fought Bellatrix, if I had only, finished her off, maybe….maybe…

I couldn't speak, the tears welling up behind my own eyes, blurring my vision. Remus was rocking beneath my arms.

Through the tears I saw my mother, staring worriedly at me and Remus. I managed to catch her eye. She nodded smiling before turning away.

I would talk to her later.

But for now, Remus needed me.

………………………………………

A few weeks later saw the end of the Hogwarts school term .

Pink hair, purple weird sisters t-shirt and slashed black jeans. Tonks was feeling good. She met the Weasleys, Remus and Mad-Eye at Kings Cross Station. She was part of the "Welcome and Warning" party.

Harry's face when he came through the barrier was a picture! Tonks felt like laughing. She had given Hermione a hug and Ginny too. Then they turned to the Dursleys to warn them that they had better be nice to Harry over the holiday.

Mrs Dursley had seemed very offended by her Pink hair and Tonks had taken delight in increasing the brightness.

All that over with, she caught Remus's arm as they left the station and skipped beside him as they headed to an alley that they could apparate.

"Where too?" she asked happily. Remus didn't answer, just looked down. He looked how he did when he didn't want to say something.

She unlinked her arm and looked at him closely in the half-light. She stretched her arm towards Remus and took it as a good thing that he didn't throw her hand off.

"Remus, what's wrong?" she asked. He still didn't look at her. Tonks began to feel worried.

"Remus? Sweetheart? Remus goddamn it, _whats wrong_?"

He finally looked up. Tonks didn't like the decided look in his eyes. He lifted her hand from his arm.

"What's wrong? It's us." Remus spoke so quietly yet with so much force that Tonks felt as if he'd shouted, or even struck her.

"w-what?"

"I can't put you in danger anymore. And I should never have put you in danger to begin with."

"What are you talking about?" she snapped. "I was in danger -as you put it- anyway, I'm part of the Order, my _job_ is fighting dark wizards and that's no mean feat believe me! How am I in more danger with you?"

Remus began pacing in the half-light, working himself up into a frenzy.

"I am too old for you,--"

"No your not!"

"I am too dangerous; I'm a werewolf for heavens sake! — "

"You are only dangerous _once a month_! It's like being on you're on your bloody period, you're so flipping touchy!"

"And I am too poor; I don't have a job--"

"I do!"

"But you won't if you continue going out with me!"

"How? How does that work out?"

"—Even your own _parents_ didn't want you seeing me once they learnt of my condition!"

"What's bought this on Remus?" Tonks asked quietly, ignoring the flashing red light in her brain.

"Sense."

"I'm not stupid Remus," Tonks was nearly shouting and feeling quite hysterical. What _had_ bought this on?

"Dumbledore –" Remus began pacing.

"How can _Dumbledore_ break us up? He doesn't even _know_ for Merlin's sake!"

"Will you _stop_ interrupting me?!"

"Sorry."

"Thank you."

They were both silent for a moment, Tonks waiting for Remus to continue and Remus waiting for another interruption.

"Dumbledore has given me an assignment; I can't put you in any more danger."

"So you're dumping me?"

Remus stopped and looked at her.

"Yes."

"Remus you are a _complete idiot_!" Tonks stepped forward and grabbed the front of his robes. Her Black temper flaring. "Why don't you get it? I want you, I don't care about the extra things.—"

"Nympha—"

"Shut it, it's my turn." Remus shut up. "I _Love_ you, all included. My parents love me too much to disown me and they'll just have to accept you. You don't have too go on this mission for Dumbledore, but you will because I bet it has _something_ to do with the werewolves. You just don't get it do you? Because you never wanted to fall in love but you have, and now you're running away. I cant live without you Remus Lupin, and I wont let you leave me!"

_Why, Why wasn't this getting through to him????_

Remus stood there, a cold look on his face. A very _un_- Remus look.

"Sorry." He said quietly then stepped back. "Enjoy your life Tonks, find someone who's good for you to love."

With that Remus span on the spot and disappeared.

"Remus! REMUS!" Tonks called, almost sobbing. She slumped down onto the ground and cried.

Each word Remus had spoke had been like a knife to her heart.

She wished she couldn't feel the pain. But she could. She felt as if her heart had been taken from her chest and vanished along with the man she loved.

"I hate you Albus Dumbledore" Tonks sobbed "Its your fault he's gone!"

Tonks sat there for what felt like an age. The she pushed herself up and thought of the one place she desperately yearned to be – other than in Remus's arms, but seeing as that was now not allowed – and the one person she really needed to see –other than Remus.

She thought of Home.

………………………………………..

**Remus's POV**

_Don't go back Remus you fool_ I thought as I materialised outside my 2 bedroom flat in Oxford. I had left her behind.

I felt as if my heart had been left behind with her and the hollow area of my chest was filled with the worst kind of pain imaginable.

The pain in her eyes with every word forced through my lips, even though I had reasoned every one to myself. I can't hurt her.

I didn't even know why I'd caused us both so much pain by leaving; I only knew that my first priority was to keep her safe, I _needed_ to know she was safe.

She's young, beautiful and has her whole life ahead of her.

But I'm going to live with the werewolves, and if they found out about her…. No I cant bear to think about it, they'd kill her or even worse, _bite_ her, without a seconds hesitation.

No, it is better that I hurt her like this than being killed.


	8. Why won't it stop Tonks

Tonks moved as if in a dream, if she tripped she got up again, desperately trying not to think about the hand which had pulled her up for so long.

She didn't crack jokes or laugh.

She felt as if most of her life was spent crying.

Her mum had said "it'll pass, just wait"

But it had been 3 weeks since Remus had left.

It felt like a lifetime.

Each day was a year long.

Each day painful,

Each week torture.

3 weeks, so why won't the pain stop?

……………………………………..

She stared in the mirror, concentrating with every atom of her being.

Short pink, come _on_, **short pink**

But her hair remained stubbornly long and murky brown.

She let herself slide down till she was curled up against the bathtub, feeling more tears well up behind her eyes.

Her spells were affected.

Her apparition was affected.

And now her Metamorphmagi abilities were, gone? Temporarily misplaced?

All she knew or cared about was that if she was still with Remus, everything would be alright.

She let the tears fall, knowing she was powerless to stop them. She had been trying to morph for 3 weeks now, each time failed.

She cursed the tears that fell so often now.

She knew that wishing wouldn't work and love just caused pain…

………………………………………………

She entered the meeting, which were now conducted at the Burrow, casting her eye quickly over the assembled faces.

She didn't see the face she yearned the most, and the yet one she wanted least to see.

She sank into one of the chairs at the table and cupped her face in her hands.

She heard the chatter change in pitch around her and tried tuning the constant noise out. She couldn't hear the rest of the room, but she could hear the two people closest to her, Molly and Kingsley talking by the sink.

"Poor girl, she looks so sad nowadays, so much older than her years" began Molly, fretting as usual.

"Remus looks almost exactly the same" replied Kingsley in an undertone "He asked me to keep an eye on her, For him because he can't."

"He evidently still loves her, I didn't want him to accept Dumbledore's mission, but he did." Sighed Molly "Has he said anything to you?"

"No," Kingsley shook his head "he hasn't mentioned her, and he wont talk about anything other than the order work. I think he _needs_ to talk, but you know Remus, he keeps everything inside."

_Too right_ thought Tonks bitterly _he never speaks. But I can tell you why he left, he wants me to have a life with another bloke, oh and to just forget my feelings for him so I'd be safe. Did I miss anything?_

Tonks had had enough. She jumped up so quickly her chair fell down and broke, but she didn't care, she needed to get out of there. She needed to breathe.

She stumbled towards the door, ignoring the entire room as they turned to face her as one, she kept her head down so no-one could see the welling tears.

Unfortunately this meant she wasn't watching where she was going.

Unfortunately it was Minerva McGonagall that she ran into. Minerva caught her. Tonks could see Albus Dumbledore in the doorway behind her, she'd been so close to escaping.

Minerva guided her back to her seat, one arm around Tonks's shoulders.

Tonks felt trapped and wondered if this was how a cadged animal felt like.

She sank into one of the seats at the table, with Minerva on one side and Molly on the other, both wearing identical masks of worry.

Tonks paid no attention to the meeting; it was just words with no meaning, like a book with no pages. All colours and blurs as one after another key members added their piece.

"—and Remus will be updating us on the Werewolf activity for the next meeting—"

She knew that Kingsley was speaking but the only words which wormed its way through her carefully built wall was Remus and Werewolf. Her wall crumbled against its supports as she struggled to keep in the sob that was threatening to overwhelm her.

She wanted to get out, she didn't want to talk or smile or socialise. She wanted to be able to breathe properly for the first time in weeks, but she knew that unless Remus dropped his noble self sacrificing act, then she would never feel whole again.

…………………………………………………………

"Molly?"

"Yes dear?"

"Do you mind if I come round tonight, for a chat?"

"Of course dear! Come after the children are in bed."

"Thanks"

Tonks appeared just outside the boundary to the Burrow, a few feet in front of the door. In the window she could see Molly, bustling about with a kettle, obviously making tea.

For the first time in what felt like an age, Tonks managed a genuine smile.

_How very trpical Molly_ she thought

She knocked at the door. Molly could be heard scrambling on the other side.

"Who's there?" she whispered

"Nymphadora Tonks, once a metamorphmagi, but powers severely affected by my arse of an ex."

Molly scrambled with locks, both magical and muggle on the other side of the door. It flew opened and Tonks found herself wrapped in a warm hug.

"Come in!" Molly exclaimed "I've just put the kettle on."

Nobody ever checked whether Tonks was Tonks, like they did with so many others, Dumbledore had tried adding one of her hairs to a Polyjuice Potion when she'd joined the order, the potion had exploded. Dumbledore thought it was because her physiology changed so often there wasn't a base to fix on. Nobody could pretend they were Nymphadora Tonks.

Molly listened, just like she had so long ago at Grimmauld Place early one morning, when Tonks had realised that she _couldn't_ live without this man.

She only asked one thing then, and only asked one thing now.

"Do you want Arthur to talk to him?"

"No!," Tonks shook her head violently "Remus is big enough and ugly enough to figure his own mistakes out, he'll be back, he has to be…" Tonks began to sniff, Molly patted her on the arm sympathetically.

A loud knock on the door shocked both women, enough for Tonks to stop crying.

"Who in Merlin could that be at this time of night?" Molly looked scared. She checked her watch "It's one o'clock in the morning!"

She crept slowly to the door and pushed her mouth to the crack

"Molly, relax!" whispered Tonks across the room.

"Who's there? Declare yourself," Molly whispered.

"It is I, Dumbledore, bringing Harry." Dumbledore's voice sounded through the wood, it sounded very odd as she couldn't see where the noise was coming from.

Tonks groaned quietly, the very last person she wanted to see right now was Dumbledore.

Molly let them in.

Tonks saw Harry's mouth drop slightly as he came through the door and saw her for the first time. Tonks knew she didn't look good, her skin was pale and her hair was lank and plain, she had stopped bothering to do anything with it, and she knew she looked decidedly odd without her usual bright shades.

"Wotcher Harry." She said smiling wanly. Harry still looked shocked.

Tonks decided it was time to go, she was feeling extremely uncomfortable.

"I'd better be off" she said quickly, grabbing her cloak and getting the fastenings muddled. "Thanks for the tea and sympathy Molly."

She needed to get away. Now.

"Please don't stay on my account" said Dumbledore pleasantly "I cannot stay, I have urgent matters to discuss with Rufus Scrimgeour."

_Why? Why was he being nice? _

"No, no, I need to get going" she couldn't meet Dumbledore's eye, she felt more uncomfortable with every passing second. "Night…"

Molly tried once more to get Tonks back into a "normal" routine, she was spending to much time alone.

"Dear, why not come round for dinner at the weekend, Remus and Mad-Eye are coming—?"

Tonks wanted to scream, why wasn't she getting it? They'd been talking for 3 hours straight!

"No, really Molly… thanks anyway… goodnight everyone…"

She practically ran out of the house, a few steps in front of the door and she spun on her heel.

She threw her keys into the bowl on the table and threw herself down onto her sofa, destined to spend the night alone again.


	9. Why wont it stop Lupin

Remus pulled his shabby blanket around his shoulders, wincing. He had a large bruise on his shoulder from the last full moon where he'd got into a scrap with one of the younger werewolves whilst trying to keep them under control.

He sat against the wall and surveyed the sleeping figures on the various heights on the walls and floors. Werewolves every single one.

He rarely slept now, it was a time when he had no control and was vulnerable.

And not just from his equals.

He was now plagued by nightmares, frequently featuring the one person he managed to block his mind during waking hours.

A certain Nymphadora Tonks was stalking his thoughts, day and night.

He wondered if Dumbledore would have sent him if he'd known that Remus was with Tonks…

Remus shook his head as if trying to clear water from his ears.

No, you must'nt think about her he thought forcibly. He hadn't been to a meeting since The Split, he couldn't look at her or even talk about her with Kingsley whenever he called on the Two-way mirror, not unlike the one Sirius and James had used at Hogwarts.

But in truth, he longed for the second before the end when Kingsley would look him in the eye and tell him about how Tonks was getting on. he was constantly worrying about her, although he knew he shouldn't.

He missed her.

He missed her so much it hurt.

…………………………………..

Remus sat, head down, staring at the foamy grey surface of his latte, not drawing attention to himself. The soft light of the 24- hour café in which he was sat flickered slightly as someone moved around next to his booth.

He was waiting.

"I once used a goat—" someone began softly. Remus looked up to see who'd spoken.

"—to tickle a sleeping dragon." He yawned, then smiled as Albus Dumbledore slid into the seat opposite. That bizarre sentence was a code that Kingsley had relayed to him earlier in the week. He waited as Albus cast a quick charm around their booth so anyone listening, muggle or magic, would be under the impression that they were talking about mundane things, such as the weather, or the menu.

"How are things going with the order?" asked Remus hesitantly.

Albus surveyed him over his half-moon spectacles, he seemed to be thinking seriously about what he was going to say.

"All, _order_ business is going well," he said finally "But the matter of, ahh, _personal_ business, now that is another matter entirely."

"I beg your pardon?" Remus frowned, he didn't understand what the hell Dumbledore was on about. He was just coming to the conclusion that Dumbledore was off his Hippogriff when he spoke again.

"I am speaking of an argument I had with Minerva and Molly Weasley fairly recently." He sighed.

"oh dear?" offered Remus, still highly confused. "Why did you argue?"

"It was about you."

"_me?" _Remus was shocked, what had he done?

"Yes, you and a certain Miss Nymphadora Tonks." Dumbledore trailed off, piercing Remus with a sharp stare.

Remus couldn't meet Dumbledore's eye.

"So it is true then." Sighed Dumbledore "I would have rather yourself or Miss Tonks might have enlightened me."

Remus shrugged, feeling like a child caught with his hand in his mother's cookie jar.

They had a very good reason for not telling Dumbledore, or even letting Dumbledore work it out for himself, they didn't want him to treat them any differently, or make him think that they were jeopardising their commitment to the order or something equally barmy.

Actually, Tonks had said that Dumbledore would be shoving his crooked nose into their private business if they told him and she didn't want the mental genius knowing.

"We thought you were… better off not knowing," summarised Remus. He could tell that Dumbledore was still staring at him intently.

He waited for Dumbledore to speak when suddenly the old man stood up.

"Come for a walk with me." He instructed then flung the door open and strode out into the night.

Remus threw a five pound muggle note onto the table and raced calmly out of the building, trying to see where Dumbledore had disappeared to. He could see the tall upright figure walking swiftly on the opposite pavement.

Cursing Albus inventively, Remus chased after him. After running for a few minutes he stopped to catch his breath and then realised that Albus Dumbledore had vanished. Literally.

In the soft amber glow of the street lamp, the surrounding area looked exceedingly dark, who knows what's lurking in the shadows…

Remus could make out a figure walking swiftly towards him, a dark fuzzy outline coming closer… closer. He hoped to Merlin that it was Dumbledore.

Curiously he began to identify the person, no woman coming towards him. She was hunched up and of medium height and…

"oof" he gasped as the woman walked right into him.

"Merlin!" gasped the woman, straightening herself up again "Sorry!"

Remus felt his heart skip a beat, he knew that voice… he needed to see her face, but the woman had turned and was setting off again.

Remus grabbed her arm and saw her hand dive into her coat pocket as she spun around.

He saw her eyes widen in shock and felt her tense arm go limp.

It was her.

Nymphadora Tonks just opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out resulting in a rather comical goldfish impression, but neither laughed like they would have once.

She had long, lank brown hair hastily scraped back into a ponytail with a bright pink bobble. The absence of her short spiky pink hair somewhat un-nerved him.

"R-r-remus?" she stammered before throwing her arms around his torso, the highest she seemed to be able to reach.

Remus allowed himself one brief hug before pushing her away again. To his surprise she stepped away willingly. He was about to say something too her when… THWACK! Her fist connected with the side of his face

"OUCH!" he yelled reflexively. She had tears streaming down her face as she barrelled more punches into his chest, not very strong punches, but punches all the same! Then she collapsed into his chest, resting her head against him for a moment.

He felt a gentle squeeze and then she was gone.

"That could have gone better" said a mildly interested voice from behind him. Remus span round, seeing red.

"_What?"_ he spat, then turned and strode off blindly, leaving Albus Dumbledore standing under a pool of light looking undeterred.

How dare he! Remus fumed Interfering old man!

Remus felt betrayed.

He had managed to kid himself that she was happy, getting on with her life.

All Dumbledore had done was prove that Dora was suffering just as much as he was. Seeing her without her usual adornments had pained him.

His heart called out for its other half and the pain that he had managed to suppress came back ten-fold.

He needed her like he needed air.

And he was slowly suffocating.


	10. hearts gotta make up

**A/N sorry its been so long but my computer has been breaking down! Also, there is a lot of crossover in this chapter, please enjoy!!!!!**

Tonks kicked the dust at her feet, waiting for Dumbledore to finish casting the enchantments over the gate. Bill Weasley was stood solemnly on the right side of Dumbledore.

Dumbledore lead the duo up to the castle, not explaining anything, as usual. He left them standing in silence in the entrance hall, an awkward silence. Bill –like everyone else—hardly knew what to say to Tonks now, but she liked being on her own and being left to her own thoughts, so people rarely attempted conversation with her.

"Ahh, now everyone is assembled—"

_Damn it, the old fool is back_, thought Tonks, dragging herself out of her personal hell and to the present.

The first thing that drew her attention was a hunched figure stood behind Minerva, with a shabby, patched cloak and sandy brown hair.

Remus.

Tonks felt her heart leap in her chest.

"—I require you to provide extra protection in the school tonight as I am to leave again, Nymphadora –"

"_Don't call me Nymphadora!"_ several titters escaped from the teachers. She saw the corners of Dumbledore's mouth twitch slightly as he continued his speech, ignoring her little outburst.

"—Remus and Bill will be patrolling with you tonight and I also suspect Harry will have added some of the members from the ingenious Dumbledore's Army. Any questions?"

"You're expecting trouble tonight?" asked Filius in his quivery squeaky voice. His question was seconded by murmurs from the rest of the assembled teaches.

"I sincerely hope not" was the grim reply.

"How will we be contacting if we do encounter trouble?" queried Remus.

"Call" Dumbledore responeded dreamily. Tonks had only met Luna Lovegood once whilst in the department of Mysteries, but Dumbledore was doing a very good impression.

She then made the mistake of allowing her eyes to flicker over to the corner where Remus was stood holding his breath with his lips pressed tight together, trying not to laugh. She smiled at him to show she got why he looked like he was trying to lay a quaffle sized egg from trying not to laugh. He nodded at her then looked away, obviously not trusting himself to look at her in chase he accidently snorted.

Dumbledore, satisfied there were no more questions, turned on his midnight blue heel and strode off. The assembled people began pairing themselves off in murmured voices. Bill Weasley suddenly appeared at Tonks's side.

"Come on Hufflepuff" he grinned good naturedly.

She managed a weak sort of smile at the reference to their school days. She was mildly aware that she was relieved that Bill had claimed her as a partner before Remus had; she had a sneaking suspicion they would have waken up the whole school.

2 hours later, Tonks was bored. She and Bill had been patrolling the corridors for what felt like a hundred years. They were now heading towards the Astronomy Tower for a brief catch up with the other patrol members.

They rounded the last corner and saw all of the Patrol locked in battle with several masked death eaters. She saw a red head ducking out of the way of a Green jet of light.

_Ginny? _

She ran forward and immediately commenced battle, flashing lights and dust swirling around the bottom of her robes.

……………………………………………

Remus was battling, but not Death Eaters. Guilt was by far the worse of the two. The mottly battle worn group were sat around Bill Weasley's bedside in the hospital wing.

Tonks had her arms around Ginny Weasley's shoulders and was shaking slightly.

Poppy had given them all something for the shock, but that didn't stop them all from thinking about the horrors of the past hour.

Luna Lovegood was sat holding Neville Longbottom's hand on the other end of the Room and singing softly under her breath. The tune was unfamiliar, yet Remus felt himself relaxing all the same.

Hermione Granger was sat crying softly, the tears making streaks on her dusty streaky face and Ron Weasley had his arm around her shoulders and just staring at his brother as if willpower alone could reverse the damage, Poppy was doing her best with Bill's wounds, yet they all knew that nothing would change the deep slashes.

Ginny Weasley stood up suddenly and strode purposely out of the hospital as if answering an unspoken call.

Remus felt Tonk's need for someone to comfort as she stood up and sat on the other side of Hermione, taking over from a Stupefied looking Ron.

He caught himself wishing that she would comfort him and not the kids.

Luna appeared in his peripheral vision, her dreamy face worried and drawn, and sat down on the floor, rubbing her ankle.

The door to the hospital wing opened.

As one, everyone turned and saw Ginny leading Harry through the door, her hand rubbing his arm systematically and soothingly.

Hermione shrieked and ran forward, throwing her arms around his neck and sobbing in a mix of relief and worry.

Remus waited behind her, worry lining his face, till Hermione had let go.

"Are you alright Harry?" He asked anxiously, eyes scanning Harry's face.

"I'm fine… how's Bill?" Ginny had obviously told him what had happened. Everyone silently stepped away from the bed, revealing the slashed face of Bill Weasley. Remus saw the mix of emotions that had crossed every single one of their faces.

"Can't you fix them with a charm or something?" Harry asked, almost hopeful, but Remus could tell that Harry was hoping that the damage could be reversed; he could see the same guilt in Harry's eyes that he had seen after Sirius had died.

"No charm will work on these" answered Poppy wearily. She looked upset, Remus suspected it was the first time that her powers had failed her and she was unable to help someone who needed it desperately. "I've tried everything I know, but there is no cure for werewolf bites."

"But he wasn't bitten at full moon, Greyback hadn't transformed so surely Bill won't be a –a real…"Ron shuddered to a halt, then transferred his gaze from his brother to Remus, it was the question everyone had been thinking and expectation hung in the air.

Remus had been thinking about this since he had found Bill covered in blood with slashes across his face lying at the foot of the stairs.

"No, I don't think Bill will be a true werewolf," he answered "But that does not mean there will not be some contamination, these are cursed wounds. They are unlikely ever to heal fully and – Bill might have some wolfish characteristics from now on."

"Dumbledore might know something that'd work though," said Ron hopefully " Bill was fighting these maniacs on Dumbledore's orders, Dumbledore owes him, he cant leave him in this state-"

Remus agreed wholeheartedly, but he doubted even a genius like Dumbledore would know anything to help Bill.

"Ron, Dumbledore's dead" Ginny's quiet voice cut through the room.

Remus felt like someone had pulled a plug somewhere deep inside him.

"No!" he looked wildly from Harry to Ginny, hoping that one or the other would say it was a horrible joke, or that Dumbledore would walk through the doors any second now.

Then the truth hit him like the knight Bus and he collapsed into a chair. He had never lost control in front of the kids before, only Tonks had seen this side of him, but now he couldn't stop himself.

He couldn't believe it. He'd only just lost his best friend, how could fate be so cruel as to take away from him the only man who'd protected him? Dumbledore was dead and judging by what he had just heard Harry say, Snape had killed him. Remus felt and uncontrolled fury course through his veins.

Snape would pay.

Because without Dumbledore, Voldemort was unstoppable, Without Dumbledore, where was hope?

………………………………………………………………….

Molly and Arthur burst through the door to the hospital wing, making Tonks jump out of her skin. Fleur Delacour, the beautiful French girl Bill was marrying was hot on their scalding heels, her face twisted with worry. Tonks jumped up from her chair and stepped hastily away from the bed as Molly cried out and flung herself over her eldest son. Molly was sobbing freely as she dabbed the foul smelling liquid over his wounds. Tonks couldn't decipher the words Molly was crying, but it seemed Fleur heard. And she didn't seem to like it.

"And what do you mean by zat?" she said suddenly, her eyes flaring "What do you mean 'e was _going_ to be married?"

Molly seemed shocked and unsure what to say.

"Well-only that-" she began

"You theenk that Bill will not wish to marry me any more? Fleur demanded, drawing herself up to her full height. Tonks began to feel like she was watching a two person Quidditch match. "You theenk that because of these bites, he will not love me?"

_Wait, she still wants to marry him?_

"No, that's not what I –" Molly was desperately trying to paddle back into shallow waters.

"Because 'e will!" Fleur fumed " it will take more zan a werewolf to stop Bill loving me!"

Tonks waited for Molly's reaction but her brain was whirring and she listened intently.

Well, the Weasley's always did like playing with fire, Tonks caught herself thinking and smiled, visualising the obstinate red hair of so many generations.

"Well, yes I am sure" stammered Molly, for once seemingly lost for words "but I though that perhaps, given how he – how he—"

Tonks fought down a bitter laugh, Molly Weasley was reminding her so much of Remus! Making excuses.

"You thought that I would not weesh to marry him? Or per'aps you 'oped?" flared Fleur "What do I care of how 'e looks? I am good looking enough for both of us I theenk! All these scars show zat my husband is brave! And I shall do zat!" Fleur lunged forward and plucked the ointment from Molly's relaxed hand.

Molly fell back against her husband and observed them both. Tonks saw Arthur grasp her hands and knew instinctively that he was telling her to give up. And Molly did.

Tonks turned her eyes to her left and saw Remus standing there, observing the proceedings with a bemused expression on his face. On her right stood Harry and Ginny, then Ron and Hermione, two obvious couples-to-be. In front of her were Molly and Arthur and Bill and Fleur.

Everyone was with the man they loved, the partner of their choice, why couldn't she?

Suddenly Molly and Fleur were sobbing and hugging each other. Tonks felt the words bubble up inside her, reaching pressure point until….

"You See!" Tonks practically screamed, ignoring everything but the man she loved with all heart. Remus had suddenly tensed and was staring intently at the floor. "She still wants to marry him even though he's been bitten! _She doesn't care!_"

"It's different" Remus obviously felt uncomfortable but, quite frankly, Tonks was way beyond caring. "Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely different."

"But I don't care! I DON'T CARE" Tonks grabbed the front of Remus's robes and shook him violently as if hoping to shake some sense into him. "I've told you a _million_ times…"her voice cracked slightly.

"And I've told you a million times" Said Remus, refusing to meet her eyes

_Too right_ thought Tonks bitterly _exactly the same words right before a full moon, regular as clockwork, stupid predictable werewolf_ .

"That I am too old for you… too poor… too dangerous" Remus continued harshly.

"I've said all along that you were taking a ridiculous line on this Remus" Molly interrupted, patting a bleary eyed Fleur on the back. Fleur's head was turned slightly and watching the proceedings.

"I'm not being ridiculous" Remus insisted steadily – _stubborn prat_ —"Tonks deserved someone young and whole" Tonks opened her mouth to argue.

"But she wants you!" Mr Weasley beat her too it. "And after all Remus, young and whole men do not always remain so…" he sadly indicated towards his son as an example.

"This is … not the moment to discuss it" Remus looked around without meating anyones eyes. "Dumbledore is dead…"

"Dumbledore would have been happier that anyone to know there was a little more love in the world" Minerva cut in curtly, staking her side in the argument.

Hagrid entered sobbing, and left with McGonagall and Harry, but Tonks only had eyes for Remus who had stood up and was staring out of the window rocking slightly.

Suddenly he turned towards the kids, the manic look of someone who knows he's on the brink.

"Well?" he demanded "Any of you want to say anything? Everyone else has!"

Hermione looked at Ron and Ginny.

"Why don't you two go and discuss it without everyone listening?" she said meekly.

"Yeah, Divination Tower's free?" Ron piped up with a grin. Tonks had to smile at that.

"Why would zey want ze Divination Tower?" asked Fleur curiously, pausing in her task of dabbing Bill's wounds.

Ron rolled his eyes as Hermione smiled.

"So nobody can hear them, honestly Fleur, you haven't heard some of the arguments they've got into! It could wake up the entire castle and then some!"

"How on Earth do you know?" asked Hermione turning to Ron suspiciously.

"They had an argument at Grimmauld Place just after Tonks arrived" Ginny smiled "Ron had nicked some of Fred and George's extendable ears."

"WHAT" Mrs Weasley exclaimed. Ron shrugged.

Remus turned and walked to the door.

"Oh, and Remus?" Ginny called. Remus half turned. "We all agree with Tonks!" Everyone nodded, Luna was fiddling absently with the cork chain round her neck.

Tonks beamed at them before tripping out of the room after Remus. She came out of the hospital wing just in time to see him disappear into a room halfway down the corridor. She followed him in and perched on the edge of one of the desks in the room silently. Remus cast a silent spell over the doorway.

"Ron may have some extendables" he explained in answer to Tonks's confused expression. He sat opposite her, tapping his wand on the table, both wondering who was going to start the conversation.

"How did you get so many on your side?"

Tonks started.

"You didn't see what I was like" she shuddered at the memory. "Everyone knew we were a couple, then you just…stopped coming to meetings and I looked like a zombie. People drew their own conclusions." She scrunched her eyes up.

"They guessed that I'd left you." finished Remus his eyes not leaving Tonks face. Tonks nodded slowly.

Remus felt her pain as it flowed fresh into Tonks's heart again. They were connected whether they liked it or not.

"That day I ran into you in London, Remember?" he asked quietly. Tonks though for a second and Remus was pained to see streaks from tears running down her face.

"Yeah, raining wasn't it?"

"Hmm, Dumbledore met me at the Dromley Road 24 hour café, just before…." Remus stood up and moved to the window.

"He set us up?" asked Tonks, jumping up and banging her knee in her haste to get to the window.

Remus nodded. "It hurt, to see you like that. I had managed to kid myself that you were getting on with your life away from me –"

"Bit difficult really, you _were_ my life." Remus just looked at her.

"But you could have _tried_ Dora, for me." He said quietly.

"I couldn't, I just couldn't cope on my own" Tears poured down Tonks cheeks again as she began to get hysterical, letting all the holed up feelings from the past few months come flooding out. "I struggled so much; my mum was trying to help. But I couldn't morph I could hardly apparate to the place I wanted to be, I started aiming half a mile to the right so I'd end up in the right place. I stopped eating and the Order stopped sending me out on my own. I almost got _fired_ Remus! I didn't need to be _completely_ in love with a werewolf to loose my sodding job"

Tonks took a deep breath to steady herself.

"Every day, everyday they said 'just wait and the pain will stop', but it didn't, it got worse" She continued in a whisper, looking out of the window.

"I'm sorry."

Remus put his hand on her arm. Tonks turned towards him and Remus was shocked to see how insecure and _young_ she looked.

"Truly, I did what I thought best, I knew it would hurt but I thought that you would be able to cope, to get on with your life. I'm Sorry." He paused before pulling his eyes up to meet hers "if its any consolation, I was struggling as well, especially after seeing you."

He opened his arms feebly and smiled his little half smile that he used wenever she proved him wrong. Dora stepped forwards …

…And slapped him across the face. Remus staggered back a step his hand flying to the red mark across his right cheek.

"What the hell was that for?!"

"Leaving me." She said simply. "but this is for coming back…"

She pulled him forwards and kissed him full of the mouth.

What seemed like a year later, but it might have been only a few seconds, a knock broke the silence in the room.

Remus and Dora broke apart.

"best see who that is" Remus said lightly, then grasped Dora's hand and pulled her towards the door. It swung open to reveal a sheepish looking Weasley couple.

"Sorry" apologised Molly.

"Yes, Molly wanted to check you hadn't murdered each other, either by wand or kissing." Arthur added. Molly scolded him with a hit across the head, ignoring Dora and Remus's peals of delighted laughter.

"I can see that you two are going to be completely fine, although Remus seems to have acquired a rather nasty looking, hand shaped birth mark." Molly smiled fondly like a parent at a font.

Tonks shrugged guiltily. She felt her heart fill with happiness, and her hair slowly shorten.

"OH MY GOD!" She screamed the popular muggle phrase, jumping up and down with excitement. Remus grabbed her waist and held her still for a few seconds.

"What's wrong Doradear?"

"I CAN MORPH! I CAN BLOODY MORPH!!!!" she screeched, throwing her arms around his neck and turning her hair bright yellow for the pure sake of it.

Molly and Arthur shook their heads with smiles on their lips, then turned and walked away so as to give the couple some privacy.

Dora felt so happy her heart could have burst and she wouldn't have cared.

Remus was so happy he almost forgot it was a full moon in 2 days, _almost_.


	11. nerves

Nymphadora Tonks pushed open the front door to the small red brick detached house, her heart thumping in her chest and all senses on high alert.

Silence.

"Dora?"

Dora jumped and banged her head on the door.

"_REMUS_!" she hissed, rubbing her head and pushing through the door. Remus followed her through and quietly closed the door.

"Mum? Dad?" called Dora, shooting Remus mutinous looks which he ignored.

"Maybe they're still in bed" yawned Remus, taking his cloak off.

"It's 10 o'clock in the bloody morning Remus!"

"And? If you hadn't dragged me out of bed this morning, I would not have got up." Remus knew that his calm manner was irritating her in her already anxious state.

Dora raised her wand. "_homenum revilioli"_

"They're out" Dora seemed to deflate as she sank into the chair in the hall.

"Dora? Are you all right?" Remus crouched down and rubbed her on the shoulders. Dora nodded. Her hair was a dull purple, Remus had known her long enough to tell that the slightly curling strands at the bottom meant she was worried and anxious. "Come on, living room."

He helped her to stand and guided her into the living room. They stood next to the windows and stared out across the messy spread of lawn dotted with patches of bright flowers with a winding gravel path leading to the small huddle of oak trees at the end of the garden. In silence.

Half an hour later, they heard a key turn in the lock and a hubble of voices outside. Dora and Remus jumped up.

"Wait here..." Dora whispered urgently, pushing her boyfriend towards the windows as she ran put to the hall.

Andromeda Tonks entered the house laden with Tesco shopping bags. She stopped when she saw her daughter standing awkwardly in the hall in front of her, causing her husband to walk into her.

"Hello Darling!" exclaimed Andromeda, dropping her bags and folding her only child into her arms. "Why didn't you tell us you were coming, we would have been here!"

"Umm... Spur of the moment?" offered Dora, avoiding her mothers eyes and fidgeting.

Andromeda and Ted's senses were instantly on high alert, they scanned their daughter in one swift movement from years of practice and came to rest on her hair, dull purple and almost corkscrew curly. Uh Oh!

"Ted! Tea!" commanded Andromeda, clapping her hands together then waving her wand at the shopping. Ted rolled his eyes and tried inching between his Wife, his Daughter and the Hall table to get to the kitchen door.

"NO!" Dora practically screamed, flinging herself into his way. Andromeda caught the vase that fell with practiced hands. Both stared at her in surprise. Dora darted between her parents and slipped through the gap of the door.

Ted frowned. Andromeda looked completely thrown. They followed Dora into the living room and say her talking frantically to a man who had his back towards them. Her hair had bypassed lilac and was now a sticking-upright curly silver mop.

"Calm Down." The man was whispering to her. Then he turned around. Andromeda was surprised to see it was Remus again.

"Remus!" she said politely. "Please, sit down. Ted, Tea please."

Dora saw the wide grin spread across her fathers face as he left the room, he had obviously put Remus and the Fuzzy silver hair together and concluded the right answer.

Andromeda sat down on one of the sofas in the living room. Dora sat down opposite then pulled Remus down beside her.

Dora noticed her mothers face was politely serene.

Her father re-entered, levitating the tray in front of him.

Dora waited till he had sat down before she started to speak.

"Mum, Dad –"

"Stop right there Dora, just tell me when?" Ted cut across, putting his arm around his wife's shoulders. He smiled as Dora blushed.

"A few days" Remus answered. "Dumbledore's dead....."

"Don't you dare!" snapped Dora her head whipping up and her hair suddenly and reddy- brown. "You promised..."

Remus bowed his head.

"A few days what?" Andromeda asked, quite oblivious. Dora and Ted shared a smile.

"Dromeda." He took his wife's hand and saw Remus take Dora's at the same time, both knuckles were white as they waited for her reaction. "Dora and Remus are getting married in a few days time."

He saw the light suddenly switch on in her eyes. "Ohhhh" she breathed quietly. Then..

"WHAT!?"

Remus, Dora and Ted all jumped.

"I told you she'd do this." Muttered Remus. Dora just glared at him to be quiet.

"Its not that I don't like you or anything Remus, its just the fact your—" Andromeda gabbled.

"That I'm a werewolf?" Remus asked heavily.

"Goodness no!" Andromeda shook her head violently, her blue clip finally giving up the ghost and allowing her brown waves to fall around her face. "I'm not prejudiced, I was going to say, that you are so much _older_ than her!"

Remus inclined his head. "I tried telling her that."

"But I didn't bloody listen did I? Well get over it Moony. I ain't going anywhere." Dora snapped, her nerves stretched to breaking point. Ted wheezed out a laugh.

"Hasn't changed a bit, still as stubborn as your mother!"

Dora smiled grudgingly as Andromeda hit Ted playfully on the shoulder.

"But would we be us if we weren't?" asked Dora mischievously.

"I doubt very much that you would be here if I hadn't been so stubborn and married your father!" Smiled Andromeda fondly. Everyone laughed. Remus still looked slightly shell shocked, but hey, anybody would if they realised they were marrying Nymphadora Tonks in a few days time... after all, she was quite a handful...

"Good luck Remus." Ted grinned broadly at his new son in law "you're gonna bloody need it!"

Great.

..........................................................................

"Nymphadora Tonks, if you pull that seam out one more time I am going to turn your hair a normal colour and put a spell on it to stay that way!"

_And I'll put a full bodybind curse on you just so you shut up._

"Mum, just shut it!" Tonks said irritably. She was bored of her mother's criticisms and just wanted the peace and quiet that being with Remus ensured. "Don't tell me _you_ weren't nervous on your wedding day?"

"Yes I was." Andromeda said softly, attempting to pin her hair up for the fourth time that hour. She had a distant far-away look to her face. "But I was happy as well..."

Tonks shook her head then pulled her wand out from the pocket of her dress.

"Here, let me help." Andromeda let her daughter help with the charms that normally held her hair in.

Andromeda had flyaway brown locks that she hardly managed to control, often the charms the local hairwitch were the only things that managed to keep the bouncy locks under control. Tonks was extremely grateful she hadn't inherited her mother's hair.

There was a tentative knock on the bedroom door, then Ted entered the room.

"It's time to go Dora." He said softly. Dora nodded, then checked her hair one last time in the mirror, pink curls that cascaded softly round her face. She took her father's arm and they left the house.

A standard muggle taxi was waiting outside, the driver chewing at a large baguette. She saw his eyes widen as he saw her. He had obviously never been taxi to a bride with pink hair before.

The muggle registry office had been their only choice. Luckily for them, muggle marriage certificates were acceptable in wizarding society and a simple trip to the Ministry would make it an official wizarding marriage. The registry office wasn't spectacular, a boring red brick house where an old fat man had permission to give weddings.

Tonks envied Bill and Fleur. Mrs Weasley was giving them the full works of a wedding! But then again, as Arthur had pointed out, Molly would have killed them if they hadn't have let her.

The car stopped, door opened, and her little family left the taxi for the building.

Ted stayed with her outside the door as her mother disappeared to find her seat. With an unnoticeable flick of his wand, Ted opened the door and began to bear his only child down the aisle.

Tonks was surprised to see people in the chairs that were either side of her, not lots of people, but people nether the less. She saw a few bright red heads, then Kingsley and her mother and Hagrid was there with Minerva and Filius Flitwick. She smiled.

Then she saw Remus, looking uncomfortable in his borrowed suit, but still with a smile on his face, the smile he saved for her.

And Tonks knew that she could never be happier, yes it wasn't the wedding of her dreams, but she was marrying the man she loved and she, quite frankly, didn't give a damn. Her heightened emotion was making her hair change swiftly, from pink to green, green to blue, blue to red, red to purple. Even the poor fat bloke's face couldn't make her stop, if anything it had her want to laugh!

Ted gave her away, gave her hand to Remus's and then left to sit with his wife, who already had tears softly falling down her face.

"Careful dear," Remus muttered as her turned her to face the minister "Much as I love your hair, he is already suspicious and I think a memory charm will be needed."

Tonks smiled and settled her hair back to the bright bubblegum pink that she had arrived with. She focused with every fibre of her being to listen to what the minister was saying, making sure she said the right things at the right time.

"I now declare you man and wife" the Minister declared with a pompous, satisfied tone to his voice. "You may now kiss the bride"

They didn't need telling twice.

Tonks felt as if her heart would burst! She was married to the man she loved in an off white knee length dress that her mother had put mess-repellent charms onto every inch of, in a muggle registry office with 10 people. It was hardly her dream wedding, but Tonks didn't care, to her it was perfect.

She was Mrs Nymphadora Lupin, and she would be now forever.


	12. Flight and Fights

"Dora!" Remus called from the front door of the tiny flat they shared. "Nymphadora Lupin get your skinny arse to this door _now_!"

His wife appeared, somewhat flustered and pulling her robes straight with a scowl.

"I fell over again" she grumbled. Then her eyes seemed to mist over "Huh, Mrs Lupin, feels nice but _still_ odd."

"Dora! We need to go!" Remus was holding the door open and hopping from foot to foot. Dora stayed where she was. He hadn't meant to be sharp with her, but he was nervous, something didn't seem right. If he told her, she would laugh and say something like "your wolfy senses are tingling!" in an eerie voice. Also, this was the first time they were doing anything dangerous as a married couple, he knew Andromeda would never forgive him if he didn't bring her child home... alive and well, kicking and falling over with a barrel of curses.

"Remus?" she said slowly.

"What?"

"We're apparating, we don't need to be outside for that."

Remus stopped. Then he hurriedly closed the door and grabbed his wife's hand. Not waiting for her he spun on the spot and dragged her through the tight darkness that was apparating.

They appeared just outside the boundary wall of the burrow, the closest they could get. Ignoring Dora's grumblings about side-along-appiration, Remus leapt over the wall and together they sprinted up the path.

Mad-Eye opened the door as they arrived.

"You're late" He growled. But he didn't insist they left immediately. Remus and Dora bent over, trying to catch their breath, not easy in the tiny living room already crammed with 11 people. Remus could hear Molly talking to Ginny in the next room.

"Sorry" His breath regained, Remus pulled himself upright and leant against the wall behind him. "Dora felt the need for a close up inspection of the floor several times."

Dora's mutinous glance was enough to spend the whole room into peals of laughter.

"You two are riding together then?" asked Ron with a mischievous grin Hermione hit him on the shoulder. "What?"

"Manners Ronald!"

"Sorry _Hermy" _

Their bickering continued.

"10 sickles on Ron and Hermione" muttered Dora in Remus's ear.

"Done" he replied in an undertone.

Mad-Eye suddenly turned around.

"Lets go."

They mounted their broomstick, Ron had nicked Tonks's broom with the understanding that he wouldn't have to give it back because he was riding with her on the way back.

Remus allowed himself one look back as the burrow grew smaller, he could still make out the two lonely figures of |Ginny and Molly, both waving forlornly. Remus knew that Ginny had tried to be part of the rescue party, but both her parents, Hermione and Dora had all refused to let her go with them. Their argument had been that she wasn't of age and that the Ministry would be able to detect any activity or magic she caused. She had seen right through this, arguing that Harry was still underage so they would anyway!

Remus had to admit that she couldn't half argue! Stubborn as her mother, almost the spitting image of her as well, and also possessing the same streak of temper.

"10 sickles on Harry and Ginny!" he called back to his wife, who was clutching at his waist tightly. He felt rather than heard her call of agreement.

Hermione and Ron drew close to them. Hermione had a scared look on her face and was clutching at Ron's waist as if it was the only thing holding her to life. She didn't like Brooms.

"they were going out at the end of last term" she called across the gap. "but Harry broke up with her because he didn't want You-Know-Who finding out about her and using her against him."

"He did a Remus Lupin in other words" Dora laid her head flat against his back and squeezed him tightly.

"Shut it!" roared Mad-Eye "If Voldemort's got a few henchmen, we'll be coming up to them soon enough."

They fell silent. Sometimes you just didn't argue with Mad-Eye.

.........................................

They rose into the air, Tonks could feel Ron clutching at her waist. She had thought it was quite hilarious that he had shot a guilty look at her husband before putting his hands on her waist. She saw Remus with a Harry look-a-like, and saw his grim face.

_Please, sweet Merlin please, keep him safe!_

Tonks didn't know how high above Number 4 the boundary broke, but she guessed pretty quickly.

About a hundred yards above the house, there was a ring of hooded people, floating on broomsticks, waiting.

_Death Eaters!_ Tonks's heart missed a beat. She didn't allow herself to shift course though. She focused on getting Ron through the wall of black and to his great Auntie Muriel's.

Then she heard a loud cackle somewhere behind her and a stream of green zoom past her left ear. She almost groaned.

"Batty aunt Bellatrix." She groaned. Ron had his wand out and was twisting every now and again to shoot random spells behind him.

"I will kill you, foul canker on my family's pure tree!" screeched Bellatrix, trying to distract her niece. "You deseve to die!"

"Dear Aunty Bella!" Tonks called back, goading her insane and quite frankly, idiotic aunt. "What on earth makes you say such horrible things to your delightful niece."

She saw Bellatrix's eyes narrow and took the moments silence to shoot a perfect stunner at her.

_Bugger, missed._

"Oh don't worry!" Bellatrix cackled. "Your inhuman husband will be joining you shortly, along with my good for nothing sister and her mudblood mate."

It was all Tonks could concentrate not to swerve then and there in mid air and launch herself at her aunt. Ron puller her sideways and forced Tonks into a sloth grip roll. He shot a stunner, straight into the face of an oncoming Death Eater.

"Oh and where's your husband Trixie? And what about your lovely pureblood Brother in law, where's he hey Trix, he's in Askaban isn't he, and guess who put him there, Me! HA!"

Tonks hoped that the name her mother had insisted Bellatrix hated with a vengeance would delay the witch long enough to drop beneath the protective enchantments. She could see the lonely house and knew that she would be able to cross the boundary line in a few minutes, but that could be all Bellatrix needed to kill the pair of them, just a few minutes...

.................................................

They rose out of the circle, wands at the ready. George was sitting with a tight grip on Remus's shoulder, eyes scanning the approaching darkness. They had barely risen the 150 feet above the house when the lights began to fly above them. Remus could see his precious Dora speeding off into the distance, Ron clasping her waist with one arm and his wand arm shooting spells.

He had his mission. Get George and himself safely to Kingsley's place, get the Portkey, then get back to Dora.

Remus wasn't an expert flyer, as much as James had tried to convince him to try for the team, Remus had been much more comfortable with both feet firmly on the ground and with a book in his hands.

But this was the flight for his life, for the future, for Dora.

So he flew, he dodged and shot spells at the Death Eater that were pursuing him. It was only George's skill as a Quidditch player that kept him aboard, Remus was never able to warn him when he was making a sharp turn.

Then Remus saw someone that made his blood boil.

Severus Snape.

He was aiming his wand at them, but a Death Eater was in the way.

George hadn't seen Snape, he didn't know that the only thing stopping Snape from killing them was the Death Eater he had just sent a Stunner towards, and who was now tumbling downwards.

Remus saw Severus mouth the words which were snatched from his mouth in the howling wind.

It felt as if time was going in slow motion. Remus could see the silver steam of light heading straight for George, but was powerless to stop it.

Time jump started again. George's entire left side was splattered with blood, pouring ceaselessly from the gaping wound that had once been his ear.

Remus wanted to kill Snape, but George was loosing too much blood...

His broom began angling a descent. Remus had bewitched the broom to fly like a magnet to Kingsley's house seeing as he didn't know where it was.

What he didn't do was tell it to stop.

Crash!

Remus leapt up almost straight away, picking up George's body and somehow managing to get him into the house, right in front of him was the portkey. Knowing he had literally seconds, Remus grabbed Georges hand and held one finger against it whislt attempting to touch it himself.

The hook behind his navel told him he had been successful.

............................................

"Remus?"

"Yes Dora."

"I've been thinking..."

"That's dangerous."

"Stop it before I make you!"

"Sorry. You were thinking?"

"I think we should sell the flat.

"......"

"Are you alright Remus?"

"Yes, I'm fine. But where would we go?"

"ummmm, my parents?"

"Dora. You parents freak the living backside off me."

"OI! Watch it Lupin!"

"I beg your pardon my dear."

"Hmmmm."

"May I ask something?"

"I get the feeling you will anyway."

"Why do you want to move?"

"... well the money would be useful..."

"Always is"

"...And I'm worried..."

"Now I am as well"

"... But I feel as if we would be more safe there, we can't put a spell on the flat can we?"

"No, let's think about this for a bit, yes?"

"Okay."

*Sigh*

"Oh and Dora?"

"Yes Remus"

"I... try not to get too worried; Your parents will be fine."

"I know. Shall we go to bed, I don't know about you but I'm shattered!"

"You go, I want to find the Prophet that you slipped on this morning."

"I didn't _slip_, it tripped me up!"

"Dora, it's a newspaper, it's an inanimate object."

"And? The sofa's inanimate but that still makes me fall over."

"I think that's more to do with _you_ than the furniture dearest"

SLAP!

"Thank you Nymphadora."

"Do you want another slap Lupin? Or are you just going to shut up and come to bed?"

"Which one is safer?"

"Which one do you bloody think?"

"......"

"_Accio Daily Prophet._ There you go, here's your sodding newspaper, can we go to bed now?"

"I was never stopping you"

"...."

"Goodness!"

"What is it?"

"I don't know"

SLAP!

"I think I am going to have a bruise, that one had fingernails dear."

"MERLIN REMUS! Just shut the heck up!"

"Dora, why don't you go to bed? You look exhausted."

"So do you, but your still sitting there like a sodding Grandpa with your slippers on and your newspaper open that you're not even bloody reading!"

"I am reading."

"AHHHHHH!!!!!"

"Thank you dear, next time I decide I would like to temporarily loose my hearing I will ask for your assistance."

"Remus Bloody Lupin!"

"Yes dear?"

"Why are you such a _frigging_ prat?"

"I don't know what you are talking about."

Thwack.

"Ouch!"

"Good! Now goodnight."

"Goodnight Dora, sleep tight...."

"You complete that sentence and you won't say another for quite some time."

"...... Don't let the bed bugs bite"

**A**/**N Sorry about the last bit being a bit random, I just wanted to put a bit in which was just dialogue. Please Review!!!**


	13. Hmmmm

Nymphadora "Tonks" Lupin, she loved her name so much!

She rolled over to talk to her husband and found instead of the comforting brown flecked with grey hair she was so accustomed to, a note pinned to his pillow.

A quick glance at the clock showed that either Remus had woken up absurdly early and gone for a stroll, or he had decided to go somewhere of importance, still absurdly early in the morning. It wasn't even 7 O'Clock.

She picked up the note from the pillow. It was one of the floral sheets that she kept on her desk in the hall.

_Dora _

_Don't worry, please. I've gone to The Burrow to help Arthur with some muggle contraption he found, must be done at night because Arthur's terrified Molly will bite his head off. ___

_Love Remus_

Dora smiled at herself. She would have scribbled a quick "gone 2 burrow, b back later, love ya!" or something similar. Remus always laughed at her "muggle talk" as he called it. Dora had been taught this whilst with a punk teenage muggle just after her 20th birthday who had been quite shocked that Dora didn't know "text talk".

She was contemplating this when she suddenly felt, a now familiar, lurching in her stomach. She scrambled out of bed and managed to get her legs tangled in her quilt. She didn't even pause, as soon as she hit the floor she was scrambling up again.

She only just made it to the bathroom.

...........................................................................................

Remus sighed. He wanted to get back to Dora.

"Sorry Remus, I know that you would much rather be in bed but I swear I am nearly done"

Arthur swam into Remus's expression, struggling to upright a muggle fan. Arthur was quite the fanatic when it came to these muggle items that he collected, Molly didn't even _know_ about the magically hidden room attached to the Chicken run.

"Arthur?"

"Fascinating... absolutely fascinating!"

"Arthur?"

"Sorry Remus..." Arthur paused with his wand in one hand pointing at the plug socket. He looked quite funny.

"Light" Remus pointed out of the garage to the lightning sky. Then he pointed to the opening kitchen door. "Molly."

Arthur followed Remus's finger and groaned when he saw his wife making a beeline for the garage. She knew where he would be if he wasn't in bed.

Remus chuckled as he pulled his cloak on.

"If you don't mind, I'm going to make a beeline out of the back door and get back to _my_ wife who will probably murder me when I get back as well."

Arthur looked terrified. Remus didn't blame him, Molly Weasley was a scary woman when she wanted to be, and often when she didn't...

Remus heard her icy voice asking her husband _exactly_ why he was in this cold shed, early in the morning when there was a party on tonight and a wedding on tomorrow.

..........................................................................

Remus opened the door to the flat and padded softly through to the bedroom, intending to climb back into bed and catch a good hours sleep before Dora woke up.

To his immense surprise, the bed was empty. And judging by the fact the quilt was splayed magnificently like a piece of artwork across the floor; he guessed that Dora has quit the bed in a hurry.

That in itself was enough to cause a husbands heart to start thurmoin, Dora was never up before 8 am, even on a work day...

He pulled out his wand and slowly crept along the corridor. The bathroom was empty. But in the kitchen was a tall, imposing woman with soft brown curling hair with her arms around a younger woman who was staring straight ahead as if she'd had some kind of shock. Remus put his wand away.

"Dora? Andromeda? Whats happened?"

Andromeda looked up, then she bent her head and whispered something to her daughter. Dora nodded. Andromeda swept out of the room.

"Just occasionally she lets us see her Black side." Remus joked, half heartedly. "Dora, whats wrong?"

_Dora had dull brown hair, some sort of shock?_

But when she looked up at him, he saw her eyes were bright and full of joy.

"Remus," she breathed, standing up slowly. "Remus, I'm pregnant!"

Bugger.


	14. Trouble

That wasn't quite the reaction she'd been hoping for.

Actually, downright opposite!

True she hadn't expected him to fall sobbing into her arms, or start jumping around for joy, but he could at least have had the decency to look _happy_!

Dora slurped up the last of her tea, just as her mother entered the room.

"Found him yet?" asked Dora. Her mother looked harassed and angry, her brown hair had become untwisted from its clip, no change there then.

"Heavens no!" she exclaimed "Remus seems to have apparated at some point!"

Dora shrugged, trying to look un-concerned, but inside her thoughts were twisting. Remus was emotionally unbalanced right now and the last thing she wanted was for him to run into some Death Eaters!

"Not quite the reaction you were guessing hey?"

"Nope!" Dora chuckled "Although the look on his face when I told him was _hilarious_!"

Her mother just gave her the _Nymphadora-what-sort-of-hair-colour-is-that-look_. Dora tried to hide a smile, -- _good gracious I haven't seen that look for years!_—and somehow ended up with an expression appropriate for a deathbed. Andromeda was muttering angrily under her breathe, shooting anxious looks at her daughter.

"Dora dear..."

_Uh-oh! She actually called me Dora and not that god awful first name! This means she trying to appeal to my better nature..._

"Perhaps it would be better if you came and lived with me and your dad for a bit." Andromeda was sat, wide-eyed and pleading.

_Yup, just like I said!_

"Mum, I will, but I'm going to wait for Remus to come home first." Dora chewed her bottom lip, allowing her mother to see just how worried she was. "He's emotionally unstable at the moment, he's worried about the Order, Me, Harry, I want to check he's alright about moving before we come home, is that alright?"

Andromeda had a far-away look on her face. Then she smiled.

"You know, however much you insist you are not like me in any way shape or form, you are defiantly more me than your father." Andromeda said softly. Then she patted Dora on the hand "Either way though sweetie, you will be moving in!"

Dora nodded. "I'll be there by the end of today, why don't you go home and get the bedroom un-cluttered... although knowing you, it's all in easily disposed of piles, just in case I decided to come home"

Andromeda had the good grace to look sheepish.

"You never know, if you go away, maybe Remus will come home?" She continued. Andromeda stood up and kissed Dora on the forehead, smoothing away the purple and pink locks.

"Be home by 10 or I'll send your dad round."

Dora nodded. Then Andromeda left the room, closing the front door behind her.

Silence.

"About time, I thought she'd never leave." A horse voice startled Dora, she spun around in time to see Remus appearing, ashen-faced beside the cupboard.

"Remus!" She jumped up and threw her arms around his neck. "I've been so Bloody Worried! Where have you been?"

"I didn't go far I promise," he said, quietly un-peeling Dora's arms from around his neck.

"Remus, please say something positive, I mean, you ran off without a word and I sent mum after you because she said I couldn't leave the sodding flat..." She babbled, barely pausing for breath.

"I'm sorry Dora, It was just the shock, I mean... I was just so surprised that I panicked and ran."

"What's there to be shocked about? I mean, it's a good thing isn't it?" Dora asked uncertainly. Remus looked just as uncertain.

"I don't know, what if..." he was cut short by a sharp slap to his bruised left arm "OW!"

"Don't you _dare_, this IS a _good_ thing!" Dora glared at Remus. Remus paused.

"go and pack your things, I think you need to be with your mother and father, I'll floo you over, then I will go to Flourish and Blotts, ok?" Remus was in authorative, you-argue-I-curse you mode, so Dora agreed. Albeit a bit un willingly.

* * *

Pregnant. A baby. _His_ baby! The baby of a werewolf.

Remus turned over and stared at the back of Dora's brown head. He felt ... _guilty_. For her, for the ... the... the baby. He had ruined her life. Just like that baby would grow up to be ashamed of its father, to have people avoid him.

For all he knew, the baby would be a werewolf too.

He had to get out.

Now.

He went to get out of bed but found a vice like grip on his wrist.

"Go back to sleep Remus" came the sleepy voice as she turned over to face him. "Stop worrying, everything will be fine." He just nodded, unable to speak, they would probably wake her parents up if they decided to argue now.

So he just settled back, hoping to get outside and clear his head once Dora was asleep, but she seemed to know what his idea was, and fell asleep again with her head on his chest.

He felt trapped, by his love, by his condition.

He couldn't hurt her again.

Could he?

* * *

The letter arrived that morning.

It was from the ministry he could see by the crest on the back.

It was also addressed to Dora.

He handed it to her as she slipped into her chair next to him, planting a quick kiss on her cheek.

He saw her open it and quickly scan through the contents.

Then stop, shake her head and turn back to the beginning.

It had come.

* * *

Remus handed her the letter. She opened it and began to read without really taking in any of the contents.

Then one word caught her eye, _Forced to forfeit your post_...

What?

She began reading again.

_Recipient : Nymphadora Tonks_

_Office: Auror Headquaters_.

_Dear Miss Tonks, _

_It has been bought to the Ministry's attention that you have recently become married to the werewolf Remus John Lupin. Unless you break off from this marriage within the next 48 hours and contact the Magical Law Enforcement office, You will be forced to forfeit you post in the Auror department._

_Fraternising with werewolves is now a punishable offence within the Ministry of Magic and the Minister himself has expressed disappointment that a young talented Auror has chosen to entwine her life with a Dark Creature. He has decided that unless you end the relationship, he will be forced to lose you from the Ministry, something he is reluctant to do with a woman of your talents. _

_The Ministry have recently classed Werewolves under the category Dark Creature even when in human form, therefore you will be categorized under this as well. _

_I am sorry to have to remove you from your post so suddenly, but under the new Werewolf Legislation law, this must be done._

_Hoping you are well_

_Dolores Umbridge,_

_Senior Undersecretary to the Minister_

"WHAT!"

Andromeda jumped, sending the cup of tea she was holding flying. Shooting exasperated look as she drew her wand to clean up the mess, Andromeda looked confused.

"What what?" She asked puzzeled.

Her mother had plenty of good qualities, but one which did not include quick responses or being able to deter from a situation what might be wrong.

"I've been _fired_!" Dora screeched.

"What!" Andromeda paused, the teacup she had been repairing clattered to the ground again "fired, but why?"

"Because of me, I expect." Remus said quietly. Dora threw the letter onto the table and began pacing quickly running her hand through her rapidly changing hair. She saw her mother pick up the letter and begin reading it.

"They want me to leave the man I love because once a sodding month he is a little bit dangerous!" Dora fumed.

"Think of what they'll say when they learn about the baby..." muttered Andromeda.

"But Dora, think of their logic..." Remus attempted, but Dora was too angry for reasoning and logic.

"But thats downright prejudice! And not fair! You have helped the Wizarding World survive plenty of times!-"

"Calm down Sweetheart, think of the baby..." Andromeda attempted.

"Calm down? _Calm down_! How on Earth can I calm down! The biased Minister has kicked me out of my job for _falling in love_! And I bet that Bitch Umbridge with her "half- breeds" are the reason! Ohh, she's had it in for me since she first saw me morph! And what about the Department of Mysteries? Have they forgotten that _we_ were part of that? ARHHHHHH!" Dora stormed out of the room, just as Ted entered, holding the Daily Prophet.

"I heard shouting?" he asked mildly. Andromeda looked at him with a look Remus had seen on Dora's face plenty of times, before she hurried out after her daughter.

If looks could kill, well, maybe not kill but certainly maim worse than a full moon without wolfsbane, then Ted would be on the floor with huge gashes across his entire body....

Not a pleasant thought.


	15. Sickness

Remus found his wife stood in front of the full length mirror in their bedroom. She was pushing her angry red hair into a ponytail and her dark eyes were glinting dangerously.

"What did it say exactly?" he asked quietly, leaning against the doorframe. She pointed silently to a crumpled sheet of parchment on her bedside table. It only took him a few seconds to read the letter; he recognised Dolores Umbridge's flouncy handwriting.

He suddenly realised that Dora was wearing her bottle-green robes over her baggy pink Weird-Sisters t-shirt and jeans, although they looked slightly strained. She was going to work.

"Dora, you can't go in." He stated firmly, moving to stand in the doorway. She turned to him

"Do me up" she commanded, and Remus moved forward to do her buttons up. He was surprised to meet some resistance.

"Can't you morph your stomach tighter?" he asked. She shook her head.

"I can't" she hissed through gritted teeth. "I have tried because half my clothes are just a little bit too tight. Not enough to notice a bump, but enough for my jeans to be tight." She sighed, and leaned against Remus for support. He wound his arms around his waist and they stood there, in silence.

"I'm sorry Dora, but you can't go in, not now they've fired you."

"I know." She sighed. "But I can't believe they've _have_ fired me."

Then her face broke into an expression Remus always associated with the Weasley twin's.

"What are you planning?"

"Deceit"

* * *

Nymphadora Lupin. Nymphadora Lupin. Nymphadora Lupin.

Not right now, today she was once again Miss Tonks.

She heaved a quick sigh, then took a deep breath before stepping into the fireplace.

Remus handed her the floo powder. Then smiled, he didn't like this anymore than she did.

"See you later" she smiled.

"Preferably with the head of Dolores Umbridge hanging on the Minister's door." He grinned roguishly.

Then she was gone, spinning quickly. Then the grand entrance hall for the Ministry of Magic appeared in front of her.

She felt slightly queasy.

_Damn Baby._

She staggered to the lifts, trying to remain as upright as possible, head held high.

Luckily, she was the only one in the lift. She took a deep breath to settle her churning stomach, once again cursing the baby silently. The lift pinged to a stop.

"Level 2 Department of Magical Law Enforcement, including the Improper Use of Magic Office, Auror Headquarters and Wizengamot Administration Services." Said that infuriating cool voice.

"oh Shut up" muttered Dora, running her hand through her Weasley red hair, leaving the lift and starting down the long corridor.

Seems Magical Maintenance were having as good a day as she was. It appeared to be pouring with horizontal rain.

She pushed through the double doors - _Merlin when did they get so heavy?- _and entered the Auror office. Like normal, Dora made a beeline for the coffee machine floating just before the cubicles started.

Kingsley was stood there.

"Morning Kingsley" she yawned, pouring herself a latte.

"Tonks" he said quietly "My office, quickly."

Knowing she was about to be told off, Dora trailed after him. He closed the door the second she crossed the threshold.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, looking slightly awed. Dora shrugged.

"I work here Shaklebolt, where else would I be?"

"I know for a fact that Dolores Umbridge fired you, with permission from Rufus Scrimgeor." He said quietly, staring straight into her eyes.

"I am not going to be told I am not allowed to come to work without getting rid of my husband!" She hissed back to him.

She suddenly felt incredibly sick.

"bugger" she muttered, pulling her wand out of her pocket and putting her coffee on Kingsley's desk. "Umm, look away if you don't like people being sick" she warned him. He looked confused. Dora conjured a bowl and somehow managed to cast a silencing charm around herself before throwing up, quite spectacularly into the bowl.

"Envanesco" she muttered, clearing the bowl away. Then she turned back to a startled looking Kingsley. "I did warn you" She picked up her coffee again.

"No!" he whispered, then he launched forward and grabbed Dora's wrist, quite violently. "Get out Tonks"

"What?"

"Get out of here before they find out, they won't hesitated, by law I should turn you in and you and Remus will undoubtedly be killed or put under house arrest." Kingsley's voice was low, and so quiet that Dora could barely hear him.

She suddenly felt terrified. More scared than if Voldermort himself suddenly appeared in the ministry and started cursing everyone.

That she would be able to cope with.

She wrenched her wrist from Kingsley's grip and ran, she ran as if a werewolf was chasing her, skidding round corners, not looking over her shoulders.

Then she had to stop to wait for the lift, but even then she didn't stand still, she kept jiggling about, from foot to foot.

Then when it arrived it was three quarters full, groaning, Dora added the group, keeping herself pressed against the door, ready for a quick exit.

Luckily, the lift was heading to the Atrium.

* * *

Remus was reading a pamphlet on the new werewolf legislation law, courtesy of Dolores Umbridge. It was disturbing that the ministry were so intent on turning the minds of the wizarding world against all werewolves, whether they were against Voldemort or with him.

It was very quiet in the Tonks house, Dora was at work, Andromeda was shopping in Diagon Alley, and Ted was at work.

Remus was finding it hard to concentrate on the pamphlet, all he could think about was how Dora was doing at work, hoping that she didn't lose her temper, and hoping that she wasn't sick, because that would give the game away completely.

The kettle in the kitchen whistled sharply, alerting that the water had boiled for his cup of tea. He made himself a cup of strong tea, with 2 and a half sugars, then began to look for his hidden stash of chocolate biscuits. Hidden because Dora's craving seemed to be chocolate anything. And she had an uncanny knack of finding his chocolate stashes; he was fast running out of hiding places.

Ahh, there was the wrapper of his Dairy Milk digestives. He reached up and pulled the edge of the wrapper forward. It slipped from his grip and the wrapper floated to the floor.

Undeniably empty.

_Damn Baby, your mother is stealing all my chocolate_! Thought Remus fondly, picking up the wrapper and putting it in the bin.

Suddenly he heard the flames of the fire roar into life. Leaving his tea, he pulled his wand out of his pocket and crept slowly into the living room.

It was a shock to see his wife, bent over double, retching.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey!" he soothed, rushing over and pulling her gently upright again. She hadn't actually been sick, thank god, Andromeda would never have forgiven her. But by Merlin, she looked awful!

"Oh Remus!" she breathed, exhausted, eyes drooping. Her hair was plastered across her face, a plain brown, and her skin was a motley white. She seemed barely able to stand up by herself.

"It's alright, I'm here." He gently lowered her onto the sofa, and left her sat, head lolling back, to make her a cup of strong tea.

He debated about putting a shot of firewhisky in, but decided that as much as it would wake Dora up a bit, he wasn't going to risk the baby.

When he came back in, Dora was curled up, a cushion pressed against her abdomen, and fast asleep. She looked so young, yet the expression, even in sleep was too old for her features. He settled down and gently lifted her head onto his lap, rhythmically rubbing the top of her head.

He could feel his own eyes drooping.

He leant his head against the back of the sofa, and let his heavy eyes close... he would only have a ... few.....minutes.....

* * *

And that was how Andromeda found them, both fast asleep, Dora's head on Remus's lap. It made her smile to herself. Because she could almost see the undeniable love between them, it was like rain, hard to see in some lights, but still there.

Constant.

She glanced at the clock over the fire, it was a pretty clock, a muggle clock that Ted's mother had given them on their wedding day. Simple, but elegant. It was quarter to 4.

And they were supposed to be going to Harry's birthday dinner at the Weasley's at 5!

She began gently shaking her daughter, gently because as much as Andromeda was going to love her grandchild, she didn't want her daughter being sick. Because that would be undeniably messy.

"Dora, Dora sweetie, it's time to wake up." She whispered quietly. Then she had an evil thought.

She stood up from her kneeling position and took 3 very large steps back. She raised her wand and cast a shield charm in front of her.

"Nymphadora, it's high time you changed your attitude, young lady!" Andromeda scolded loudly, a wide grin on her face. As expected, Dora sat bolt upright, and grabbed her wand. Remus looked slightly shocked as well, he was rubbing his chin experimentally, wincing. It seemed that Dora had accidently knocked her head with his chin, she was rubbing her head wincing.

Deciding it was safe to do so, Andromeda removed her shield charm, and threw a bag at her daughter.

"Picked up some bigger dress robes for you, noticed yours looked slightly strained."

"Thanks Mum." Dora grumbled, gingerly picking at the cherry red dress. Dora seemed not to have noticed that her hair was exactly the same colour. But Remus seemed to have noticed. He slid an arm around her waist. Dora giggled and her hair turned shocking pink, the dress followed.

"What the...?" gasped Dora, turning the dress over in her hands.

"You can change the size, shape, style and colour at will, I had it made specially when I found out you were pregnant" Andromeda smiled. Dora returned the smile.

"How come you're home?" Remus asked "You never did say, I went to get you a cup of tea, came back and you were out of it!"

"I ... forgot.... to take my morning sickness potion." Dora said sheepishly, ignoring Remus's groan. "I only realised when I got out of the Floo. And my stomach was performing back flips."

"So they know you're pregnant?"

"No!" Dora said, looking up at her mother and husband "I was sick in Kingsley's office, he knows, but told me to run, to get away... or they'd kill me, you, ... and the baby. Only Kingsley knows."

She seemed to be struggling not to cry.

The clock struck 4.

* * *

"Be happy Remus!" Dora scolded, coming downstairs after her mother, wearing her favourite jeans and a baggy weird sister's top, cleverly disguising her very, very small bump that would be un-noticeable if you didn't know

"I _am_ happy" he growled, then shook his head. "I'm sorry, it's just... it doesn't matter."

Dora knew him well enough not to press on with the subject... for now.

Remus could see in her eyes that she was holding out, but he would be interrogated tonight.

"M'Lady" he offered his arm out to her with a mock bow. Dora giggled like a schoolgirl before curtseying and accepting his arm. "Hold tight" he instructed. Dora nodded, then put her free arm over her swelling abdomen.

They dissaparated.

"Urgh" Dora groaned, dropping his arm and rubbing her belly. "I didn't like that!"

"Just apparating, or the Side-Along apparating?"

"Both!"

They laughed, and Dora pushed open the gate to the Burrow. She greeted Molly with her usual hug, a wide grin on her face, then clapping Charlie on the shoulder and giving him huge hug, they had been very good friends at Hogwarts.

"Hello Molly" Remus said wearily, his very manner contrasting drastically with his very happy wife, only Remus could see the strain behind her smile.

Molly frowned slightly, before pulling Remus into a hug.

"Harry's somewhere" she smiled, releasing him. Remus acknowledged this with a slight tilt of his head, and was left with Charlie as Dora followed Molly back into the house.

"So." Stated Charlie awkwardly.

"Um, yes..." muttered Remus in reply, his eyes gazing a his very worn shoes – _need a new pair, these ones have holes in, maybe Andromeda would lend me the money till after the baby's born..._

"You are one brave bloke Remus!" chuckled Charlie, slapping the old werewolf on the back. Remus was surprised.

"In what way?" he enquired. Charlie continued chuckling to himself.

"You're _choosing_ to live with Nymphadora Tonks! Mad, you must be!" Charlie alliterated.

"It's Nymphadora _Lupin_, and yes, I do sometimes wonder if my sanity disappeared with James and Sirius." Remus kept his expression very serious, desperately trying not to laugh uproariously. He sometimes did slip into his Marauder tendencies, but everyone here knew him as the quiet studious DADA professor. Not as a high-flying, much feared prankster!

Dora danced over to him and planted a quick kiss on his cheek.

"Hey Charlie!" she exclaimed. "Come on Remus, we have to find Harry!"

She grabbed his arm and pulled him after her as she ran head-long into the part, Remus only had enough time to turn back and roll his eyes dramatically at Charlie, before the laughing young man was lost from his sight.

_Charlie would have been better for her than I am_. A small, unwanted voice whispered. He banished that niggling feeling at the base of his skull, No, she had wanted him, and as much as he had tried to shake off the feeling, Remus wanted her as well.

* * *

_Mmmm, Molly's chocolate cake is fantastic!_ Dora silently enthused, selecting another slice and pilling it onto her plate. Reus was shaking his head, grinning broadly.

"Dora, we're not supposed to be eating yet!" he reprimanded. Dora poked her tongue out at him and crossed her eyes, --_And_ ?—her expression seemed to read. – _so what_?

"Molly told me to help myself." She smiled sweetly at him. "Oh and I told her our _news_" emphasis on the news.

Remus shook his head in wonder. "How I ever put up with you I will never know!" he said, wonderingly, to himself. Dora mock punched him on the arm.

Suddenly, Arthur Weasley's patronus – a weasel – floated into the party and landed silently.

"The Minister is coming with me" the weasel spoke.

Fear gripped Dora's chest, and she put her plate down, suddenly feeling terribly sick.

"We have to go!" Remus called and grabbed her arm. They ran to the nearest wall and leapt over it, Remus somewhat easier than Dora, seeing as she was terribly uncoordinated at the best of times.

Remus leant forward to grab her arm, but Dora pulled it back, with a quick glare, they spun on the spot and disappeared with a small pop.

"I can apparate myself Remus!" Dora began as soon as they had entered her mother's house. Andromeda looked up from her knitting, peering over the tops of her glasses.

"You're home early" she noticed mildly.

"The Minister was coming with Arthur" Remus sighed, sinking into one of the many chairs in the room. Andromeda nodded understandingly. "And because of me, Dora had to run from a minister who should have sung her praises."

Dora's temper seemed to flicker away as quickly as it had arrived. She sank down next to her husband.

"it's not your fault" she soothed.

Remus let out a bitter laugh.

"Yes it is Dora, and might I just add, your mood swings are giving me whiplash!"

"What mood swings?" Dora frowned.

"Well..." Remus began, sneaking a look to see what his wife's face was doing. Her features were open, and interested. So he decided to risk having to spend a night on the sofa. "Well, one second you'll be yelling and screaming at me for something or other, the next you'll be sitting next to me comforting me or the other way round. It's extremely difficult trying to decide which way the wind is blowing with you!"

Dora looked entertained.

"And you think thats got something to do with the pregnancy?" She asked, disbelievingly. Remus nodded, just slightly. A great booming laugh echoed from thge kitchen, amid two more high-pitched giggles from the females in the room.

"Remus dear" Andromeda giggled, wiping tears from her eyes "haven't you noticed that Dora's always been a bit like that, its only got more distinct with the pregnancy?"

"She's always been pretty constant with me" He argued. Dora ruffled his hair affectionately.

"You know I love you, right?" She whisped in his ear.

The rest of the evening passed without any more embarrassing incidents from Remus concerning his wife, instead, Ted and Andromeda treated their son-in-law to a delightfully humorous storytelling of Dora's clumsy childhood.

Much to Dora's increasing annoyance, from her cherry red hair.


	16. Nightmares

_It was dark, so dark that he could barely see the outline of objects he was passing. He knew he was breaking the rules, no one was allowed out after dark, especially not at the moment, but he was. Alone. _

_Gaps in the thick overhanging foliage cast white, pearly white, light across the ground, spilling light like rays of the sun. _

_He was lost. There was no way he could get home, not yet, not till there was more light for him to see the path by. _

_But the woods are full of creatures, bad creatures, his mum had told him many times, yet he loved the woods, they were safe to him. _

_Now he wasn't so sure. _

_Every time he paused, he could hear something, a panting, or a twig snapping under heavy feet. _

_A Howl rippled through the air, loud, strong... close. _

_He didn't stop, he couldn't, he had to get home, he had to hide, find mummy, or daddy, but he had to run, run from the monster whose breath he could now hear, coming through clenched teeth and the steady thud of its feet getting louder and louder...._

_He needed to get home..._

_Now it changed, instead of a child, a grown man was tearing through the trees, scratches as branches whipped across his face._

_He wasn't running for his parents now, he was running from the fear, the knowledge of what would happen next, he was running for the child... and for his child, he ran. _

_The creature was barely a foot away from him now; he could feel its teeth sinking into his shoulder, shaking him like a dog would shake a chew toy..._

Remus!

_That voice.... he had to fight, but he was so weak now..._

Remus!!! Wake Up!!!

_Dora. Baby, the future..._

* * *

"Remus, Remus honey, wake up please, you're scaring me again!"

Her voice was soft, pleading, but the hands on his shoulders were strong.

He used the voice to pull himself back.

When he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was the thing that had pulled him back so many times.

"Dora!" He breathed, relieved. "Just a dream..."

"Holy Merlin Remus, you scared the crup out of me!" Dora fell against his chest. He felt his arms lift to fold around her slim form.

She was safety.

She was home.

She was what he came back for.

* * *

**Tonks POV**

He scares me when he does that. When I wake up in the middle of the night and he's thrashing about on the pillow, unable to stay still.... having The Nightmare.

Somehow this time was so much worse. Fear had filled my belly, just seeing him, sweat pouring down his clammy face, his eyelids twitching as his eyes roll about in fear beneath them.

It took longer than usual for my brain to respond, I was frozen with fear.

It took longer than usual for me to wake him up as well.

But now he is awake, and I am so tired.

I can't cope at the moment. I collapsed against his chest and sobbed freely.

His arms came round, and I could hear him trying to comfort me.

I rarely cry, but when I do, it's messy, explosive, but doesn't last long.

"Shhhhhh, Dora, it's ok, I'm awake now, so why don't we go back to sleep before your mum comes in and I'm budgie food, yeah?" Remus's voice. It pulls me out of my spiralling pit of despair; the one where I couldn't help the man I loved with his demons.

Sniffing loudly, I attempt to push myself up, but he holds me tight against his chest.

We just sit there in silence for a few seconds, then I lift my head up, and my gaze meets his.

Understanding.

We don't need words to communicate sometimes. He kisses me softly on the head.

His eyes said it all: don't _worry about me, I'm fine, always am, always will be, but I need to worry about you, so let it all out, then we can get you back to sleep so you're not grouchy in the morning._

My eyes were apologising, I know he hates to see me cry, but I was so scared, I thought that I would never be able to pull him out, that he would be forced to stay within his memories for a long time.

_I know_, his eyes responded, _but I always come back, come back for you...._

* * *

_It was very quiet. The room was silent, yet instinctively, she knew she was not alone. _

_She could see a mirror, placed on the wall, following the circular curve of the room. _

_It was pale, pale walls, pale ceiling, pale light casting shadows across the floor. _

_She suddenly became aware of her hands, placed across her flat belly, clutching at a rough, leather material._

_Hang on, leather? _

_She only had one leather item, and that was a pair of black boots her mum had given her for Christmas after she graduated Auror training, the ones she wore all the time because they were practical and didn't have heels or laces... _

_Yet she could feel the material skimming her knees, a sort of lacy material, and her sleeves seemed to have holes in._

_Most importantly, they were black. _

_Curious and confused, she looked down, and saw a leather, lace up corset with a lacy, torn skirt falling, skimming her knees, her feet were encased in heeled black lace up boots._

_A long strand of black hair fell across her face._

_Horrified, she staggered towards the mirror, breathing deeply. _

_And screamed._

_Staring out of the mirror, with crazed, sunken eyes, unkept, backcombed black hair radiating from her head, pale skin ...._

_A high pitched cackled escaped from her mouth as it curled into a meanacing grin. Her fingers twitched around her wand handle as she lifted it up and pointed it at a figure she could see in the mirror... she span round quickly, registering small cot, laced with white, and a small baby, eagerly pressing its face against the bars._

_Her heart was screaming for the baby, screaming for her mouth to not form the words._

Avada Kedavra_. _

_The green light shot across the pale room, and the baby fell against the back of the cot as if some force had slammed it backwards. _

_She was unmistakably her murderess aunt Bellatrix Lestrange. _

_And she had just killed her own child._

Dora! Dora! Wake up!

_He couldn't see he like this, this murderer, she had killed their baby._

Dora!

_His voice, he could bring her out of this nightmare if she followed his voice...._

_Remus..._

* * *

He thought he was back in the nightmare. Someone was thrashing next to him, slapping him, pushing him away...

His logical mind worked out that it was Dora having the nightmare this time.

Eyes snapping open, he jerked up, pinning her arms to her sides.

Remus could instantly tell who she was dreaming about.

Instead of the beautiful heart shaped face of the woman he loved, framed with a multitude of hues, the face of a murderer was lying on the pillow, traumatised, and fearful.

He had to fight down a sharp feeling of hatred, the face of his wife was replace by the face of her feared aunt, Bellatrix Lestrange.

"Andromeda!" Remus called, "Ted!"

He began to shake Dora, trying to wake her up gently, if he shook her too hard it might damage the baby, but she needed to wake up, he needed to pull her out of her personal hell...

"Dora, Dora please wake up!" he pleaded.

"Remus...." Andromeda and Ted were in the doorway, both bleary eyed and yawning.

Then Andromeda saw Dora's face and her own face fell into shock.

It was Ted that took charge.

"You have to wake her up" he ordered "forget about the baby, do anything you can to wake her up."

Then he pulled a stupefied Andromeda from the room.

"Dora, Dora, Wake up!" Remus shook her on the shoulder. "Dora!"

It was a relief to see her eyelids flutter weakly

"Remus!" she breathed weakly, then she through her arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a bone crushing hug. She began to sob weakly, her appearance returning to normal, slowly but surely. Remus pulled her into a sitting position, with her head against his shoulder and systematically rubbing her arms, comfortingly.

"What happened?" He whispered softly.

"Bellatrix..." She gasped between racking sobs.

"I know, you'd morphed to her, but what was she doing to you?" It was important that Dora talk about her nightmares, she wouldn't feel as scared or burdened if she shared her fears.

"Not what _she_ was doing" Dora shuddered, her voice raising an octave "But what _I_ was doing! Remus, I _was_ Bellatrix Lestrange!"

"No you weren't." He couldn't let her think like this, if there was anyone more different from Bellatrix it was Andromeda's daughter. "You are nothing like that woman, no, she isn't a woman, she's a heartless animal, a monster."

"But I killed the baby" Dora sobbed, beyond anyone's reach now. "I looked like that woman, I was inside her head, but I couldn't stop from killing that tiny baby! Yet somehow, in my heart, I knew that it was _our_ baby Remus! My dream was _me_ killing _our_ baby!"

Remus didn't know what to say to settle her, how could he? Her Hormonal Imbalance meant that she became over emotional, and this was the sort of thing that would begin to scare her now, not Death Eaters, not Voldemort, but her child being killed. Her maternal instinct was beginning to kick in, and she wasn't even three months gone yet.

Not knowing what to say, he plumped for stroking the hair from her forehead, and softly murmuring the timeless, yet not very helpful, "It was only a dream" Over and over again.

It took about three quarters of an hour for Dora to regain her composure. With one last sniff, she pushed herself upright and leant back against the tatty headboard.

"Sorry." She apologised thickly, wiping her eyes on the back of her hand deftly.

"Why are you apologising? You didn't do anything wrong, it was just a dream Dora."

"I know." She heaved a heavy sign, then nestled back into his chest. She yawned, widely and loudly, and looked quite shocked about it.

There was a soft knock at the door, and they both turned to see Ted through the crack, pushing the door open with his toe, and holding two half full glasses of a deep purple liquid.

"Dreamless Sleep Potion" he grinned "Enough to knock you out till 8am, I've already given Dromeda some."

Dora smiled slightly, then she tilted her cup towards Remus in a mock toast, then downed the lot in one gulp. She was asleep as soon as her head touched the pillow.

Remus rearranged the quilt over her, before settling down next to Dora, and downing his own cup.

Sleep came as a relief.

**Just needed a little filler, this happens the night between Harry's Birthday Party and the Wedding. I just wanted to try and show the sort of things they dream about. Remus is the night he was changed, but Tonks Dreams have changed. Hope u like **


	17. Weasley Wedding

**AN/ Sorry its taken so long, but school are being very mean and giving us LOTS of coursework so I'm surprised I've actually managed to get this out, plus the old case of writers block and women snatching away your fantastic ideas coz its not maths **

* * *

Tonks POV

I found that today I was feeling a little jealous. Bill and Fleur were having their perfect wedding; I didn't even have a first dance, or a pretty dress. But it was my wedding, my perfect wedding, the only thing Remus and I could afford.

And now I am pregnant, we are having a baby.

I almost feel sorry for it, having a klutz like me for a mother and a serious, bookish professor for a father, what combinations I have imagined!

So I dressed for the wedding, quite absentmindedly. I didn't even notice that my dress robes were inside out, till Remus poked his head round the door and started laughing at me! Well, that's gratitude for you! I'm only pregnant; I should think I was allowed to have "moments"! Mum says it comes with the job, memory loss. I hope not anyway.

But it was with a laugh that I quickly pulled my dress robes over my head and changed them, after all, I do love him, and that's all that matters.

We may have no money, no home of our own, no jobs, and both part of the most dangerous Anti-Voldemort society, but love is all that matters in this relationship.

My heart filling with happiness, I jaunt out of the bedroom after my husband, happy, happy.... feeling like I'm gonna puke...

I really Hate Moring Sickness.

* * *

Remus held his wife's bright green hair up for her while she threw up, quite spectacularly, into the toilet.

With every passing day, he was feeling worse.

What had he done? He had ruined this perfect, beautiful, passionate woman, just by loving her.

But what about the baby? What creature had he begotten onto his loving wife, what would it be?

Dora was imagining beautiful dimpled baby's with bright hair, what Remus saw was something quite different, it was a monster, like him, a little multi-coloured werewolf pup.

As much as he tried to remain positive, he was certain that his child would be a werewolf. And he had nothing to say that it wouldn't be.

After all, he was the first werewolf to have a spouse. And to have a child. He had nothing to compare with...

A wedding, Bill's wedding, but Bill wasn't a full werewolf, he doesn't change.

Guilt.

Could he do it to himself again?

If he wasn't there, she would get her job back, and the baby won't have a father it must always be ashamed of, it will have a doting mother.

Could he leave his heart again?

* * *

"Molly! Goodness it's been _ages_ since I last saw you! Congratulations, about to become an in-law in just a few hours. Mind you, you look _exhausted_! Molly sweetie, you need to relax more. You're no use to your kids all fried up like a stir fry! Why don't you get Arthur to help around the house a bit more, you need to take the weight off your shoulders a bit. Have fun, relax... I'm perfectly sure that Arthur could manage for a week, tell the truth though, I'm absolutely _useless_ at household stuff, Remus did everything back at the flat and mum won't _hear_ of me helping her!" Dora paused in her excitable gushing to throw her arms around her friend's petite form.

Remus shook his head slightly as if trying to clear water from his ears, and glanced past Molly to see Charlie Weasley, all doled up in a pair of new dress robes, creased up with laughter. Remus could see why he was laughing. Molly's face was slightly shell-shocked. But that wasn't really a surprise; Dora was difficult to take in when she was in that sort of a mood.

And he should know, he was still acclimatising to his wife's erratic moods. Ted and Andromeda were used to it, and more than once, Andromeda had showed a similar trait, so at least the men folk knew where Dora got it from.

"Dora." Remus hinted loudly.

Dora pulled away, her brown eyes sparkling with happiness and excitement.

Remus blamed the chocolate that she had insisted on consuming before leaving the house. Dora was bouncing off the walls, figuratively speaking; the Weasley garden didn't exactly _have_ walls.

"Lovely to see you as well dear..." Molly attempted, a normal look returning to her face. She somehow managed to disengage herself from Dora's arms and step back, holding Dora's arms out and looking at the younger woman intently. "So how are you doing?" with a pointed look at Dora's midriff.

Dora giggled like a schoolgirl, her hair- which had previously been a respectable Weasley red- suddenly turned a shocking pink.

"Shhhh, nobody else knows"

Remus felt like rolling his eyes. She had told lots of people, the apothecary in Diagon Alley when asking about morning sickness potions, Molly Weasley, her parents, the woman who sold the Daily Prophet, the muggle behind the counter at Tesco. Apparently she'd wanted to "keep it a secret" and she had, for about 24 hours. As much as he loved his young hair-brained wife, she didn't half get on his nerves sometimes.

A group of people appeared behind them, and with a beaming smile and a kiss on the cheek, Dora allowed herself to be pulled away.

Remus was so tired, he was exhausted. It was only 3 days till the next full moon. Somehow he had to laugh and smile and joke with everybody and not show just how worried and scared he really felt.

Worry; he had a little niggly feeling that something was going to go horribly wrong, and he wanted to protect Dora from whatever it was, though, it would probably just be Molly having a mental go at one of her children for spoiling the day.

Scared; however much he tried not to think about it, his thoughts always seemed to converge on the ...baby... He was scared of what would happen to Dora, she already had extreme mood swings and she says she has cravings, but Remus wasn't sure that you had cravings at approximately 2 to 3 months. He didn't want anything to happen to her, and he was willing to leave her behind again if it would keep her safe. Sometimes, the things which hurt the most are the things that are best for you, Dora had trouble accepting that.

"Earth to Remus" joked a light hearted voice, and he felt something resting on his shoulder, looking down, he saw that Dora was hanging off his arm like a child, but with her chin resting on his shoulder, her brown eyes twinkling and her pink lips curved into a wide smile.

"Sorry," Remus apologised, gripping her hand, as Dora removed her chin from his shoulder, and rested her head against his shoulder instead. "Let's go and find Arthur, I need to apologise for our abrupt departure yesterday."

And with that, he guided her up towards the pristine looking Burrow in search of the family patriarch.

* * *

Tonks POV

Oh Merlin, she looked _amazing_!

Fleur is wearing this beautiful white gown that almost seems to emit a silvery light, and, for the first in her life I expect, everyone around her looks amazing as well. It must be the veela in her.

My vision's gone all blurry. Typical, trust me, the little tomboy, to begin to cry at a wedding.

I BLAME THE HORMONES!!!

Well, that's not really fair, Molly and Madame Delacour are both simply awash already! And Arthurs not much better. Monsieur Delacour doesn't seem fazed by the fact that he's giving his daughter away.

Ginny looks breathtaking. Fleur was right, the gold looks much better with her copper hair than any boring girly colour, like pink. But even _I_ could guess that.

Her little pouty French sister looks beautiful, but then, Gabrielle, or whatever her name is, but she is part veela so that's to be expected, and a mini fleur.

I feel a small pressure on my wrist.

It's Remus, handing me a hankie. I didn't know I was _that_ bad.

The wedding is amazing. To be honest, the last and only wedding I've ever been to was my own! And that was a muggle wedding. This wedding will be so much different. I can't wait!

Still a little jealous though.

* * *

"Sooooo, _M_rs Weasley!"Tonks grinned, sidling up to the newly-weds, "Nice to see you looking as elegant as normal. Congratulations!"

"bloody hell Tonks!" Bill chuckled, as Tonks threw her arms around them both. "Calm down!"

"Sorry, I'm just so happy for you both! I know I was so excited on my wedding day, although yours was much more glamorous than ours, right Remus?" Tonks pulled on her husband's arm.

"Wha- Oh yes, much more of a wedding than ours was, congratulations" Remus gabbled smiling briefly at the happy couple. The String Band began to play a slow dance song, and looking slightly embarrassed, Bill lead Fleur out for a first dance.

"You know Remus?" Tonks began.

"What?" Remus grinned, knowing what was coming.

"We never had a first dance did we? So why don't we make use of the music, and have a little spin!"

"It's Bill and Fleur's first dance, not ours." He justified.

"Not if we dance over there," she jabbed her thumb over her shoulder, to the mouth of the marquee. Giving in, Remus let his wife drag him over there, and begin a slow dance, with surprisingly good balance.

"I hope nothing goes wrong, I've got that feeling." Remus muttered, casting a wary eye over the guest and grounds.

"Hey!" Tonks smiled, wrapping her hands around his neck "Wolfy senses are tingling, but we'll be on our guard, for their sake, yes?"

"Yes"

"And nothing _will_ happen unless Voldemort somehow manages to kill Scrimgeour and break down the defences. And to me that seems very unlikely that the two events will collide." Tonks beamed, making a fool of herself by tripping over her feet whilst executing a rather beautiful, but spoiled spin.

_Dora is right_, Remus conceded. _The probability that Voldemort will destroy the ministry today is incredibly unlikely..._

**A/N Well, there it is at last. The next chapter, sorry it has been so long. Please read and review because this chapter took up quite a lot of my thoughts when I was supposed to be writing my English essay, and I would like to know what people think of it.**


	18. Shock

**A/N Soz, but mental blocks are SO irritating and I couldn't make the words form decent sentences! Plus Ive started another fanfic which I find easier to write. **

She was absolutely hating this; Remus had forbidden her from leaving the house ever since the wedding, and the killer part was that her parents were in complete agreement. She wanted to leave, to be able to stretch her legs past the confidents of the Fidileus Charm.

Damn it, she would even go shopping for her mum if it would get her out of this godforsaken house! Mum was getting snappy, meaning Dad was getting snappy, and all this was winding up their baby girl. Yey.

She was currently in the process of reading Sense and Sensibility, a muggle novel that was pretty intense reading, but actually very good, Remus had bought it for her. _He_ was allowed outside. And all since the fiasco at the wedding, grrrr.

_Flashback_

"_Dora, what the hell are you still doing here?" Remus hissed at her as he saw her through the thinning throng of people disappearing and disapperating left right and centre, escaping from the arrival of Death Eaters. _

"_My job!" she'd yelled over her shoulder, running to help defend the young children who couldn't apparate for themselves and were slowly being herded towards the edge of the marquee by the advancing death eaters. She couldn't recognise anyone under the cone-shaped masks, but she could guess that she was battling colleges. She shot a stunner at a black coated back, and it crumpled to the floor. She ran at the young children stood there, every one of them terrified. She smiled at them quickly, holding out her hand whilst casting her eyes around the hall for any oncoming attacks. One small red-head slipped his tiny hand into hers, swiftly followed by the rest. _

_She now had 7 young children grasping various parts of her arms or hands, she knew the parents would be around later, but for now, she had to get the younger generations to safety whilst their parents battled; some things a child shouldn't have to see at all. _

"_Hold tight," she whispered to them, she felt 7 grips tighten, then she turned and apparated to the top of the hill opposite the Burrow, safe distance away. She did a quick head count, four red, two brown and one blonde. 5 were being viciously sick, obviously the first time they had apparated, while the rest looked merely nauseous. _

"_Where are we Mrs Lupin?" asked the small girl with blonde pigtails bowed with pretty blue ribbons. Her face was pale and her blue eyes wide and scared looking. _

"_Top of the hill, see there's the Burrow," She said distractedly, casting protection charms in a complete circle around her, nothing short of Voldemort himself would get in. The children shivered, making Dora automatically construct a shelter with a flick of her wand. They crowded in gratefully. Dora couldn't take her eyes of the white marquee below, Remus was down there fighting, and she had done what he'd asked. She had taken herself and the baby out of danger, rescuing some children in the process. She'd never felt as protective over children as she did now, adults had been in danger, but she had rescued the kids. Weird, must be the baby doing it. _

_She turned and smiled comfortingly at said children, ranging from a lanky 10 year old to a tiny five year old girl wearing a frilly pink dress and clutching a blanket to her mouth. Dora squeezed under the shelter with them and the little girl promptly sat down on her lap and cuddled up to her chest. _

"_What's happening miss?" asked a freckled red head. _

"_Weasley are you?" Dora asked, gently soothing the little girls hair down. _

"_Yes Miss, Thomas Weasley Miss, Aunty Molly invited us up from Cornwall. What's happening miss?" Thomas had nice manners. Dora realised how useless it would be, not knowing people's names. _

"_Right, enough of the Miss please Thomas, my name is Tonks, so how 'bout we all share names, yeah?" Dora attempted a light hearted spin on the dismal cloud that was hanging over them. _

_They spent the rest of the evening exchanging stories and laughing at each other. But Tonks only listened with half her brain. The other half was fighting the rather overwhelming desire to be sick now that her potion had worn off, but also the sickening feeling about whether the children would have any parents by the end of the day. _

_The sun was setting over the Burrow when Tonks first heard any new. She saw a silvery shape hiss towards her, and was up and waiting, with little Maddie Weasley asleep in her arms._

"_Burrow safe now, where are you?" came issuing forth from the wolf's mouth. Tonks let out the breath she had been holding. It was safe. _

"_Come on, lets get you all back home, yeah?" She smiled, flicking her wand at the shelter and causing it to disappear. She held out her hand and the children all huddled round, grasping any part of her arms that they could seeing as Maddie took up so much room. _

_They apparated back to the Burrow, in chaos, and Tonks was soon swamped with thankful, weeping parents crushing her to their chests after pulling their offspring to their hearts and holding on for dear life. _

_All she wanted was Remus, and safety, and home. Oh and somewhere to be sick. _

Dora's trip down memory lane was cut short by her mother, evidently frazzled, storming into her room.

"I can't believe it!" Andromeda cried, throwing down a Daily Prophet. Tonks picked it up, sighing slightly. She scanned the front ppage which was covered in poor Harry's face.

"What about it?" her mother's sharp mood swings were starting to get on her nerves! It was only a newspaper for Merlin's sake!

"Page 3!"

Tonks turned to the respective page, and found that staring out from the page was a proclamation, declaring that all Muggleborns needed to be taken to the ministry for questioning.

"What?" Tonks whispered, sitting bolt upright. She looked up at her mother, eyes reflecting the horror that both women shared. "Dad?"

"He won't go in, says we would be better off without him, protected by our blood status as Pure Bloods," Andromeda sank down next to her currently grey haired daughter. Tonks scanned quickly through the article.

"I can't believe it!" she gasped. Andromeda nodded.

"There's a bit about Harry killing Dumbledore as well. It's impossible. He has to strong a grip on our World. Sweet Merlin Dora, what will we do?"

"I don't know," was the soft reply, before Dora rushed to the loo to be sick, but this sickness had nothing to do with the pregnancy.

It was pure, simple horror and disgust.

**A/N Ok its done. Next Chapter will be set slightly before this, just so people don't get confused. Thanks for waiting **


	19. Doing the right thing

_My dearest darling Dora. _

_You will finish reading this and shouting coward at the wall I'm sure. But I am a coward. I cannot put you in any more danger, so I am running away again. I just want you to be safe if an already unsafe world with a barmy murdering aunt who wants to kill you even more now you have married a werewolf. That's the fundamental thing though, isn't it Nymphadora, I'm a werewolf. No more trust, no more job. The wizarding world hates people like me. _

_I'm doing you a favour, you have to trust me on this. You are young and will love again. Me, I am old and will surely die in this war. You deserve better than me. _

_Our baby will have a better life without me. He will not have a father who he must always be afraid of, and ashamed of. I know you will bring him up properly, because you are a fantastic woman whose life I want to destroy no further. _

_I will go with Harry, Ron and Hermione. I will be helpful to them, if they'll take me, as I have experience in the dark arts. I can help them fulfil Dumbledore's orders and bring down the Dark Lord forever. _

_I will be gone when you find this. I cannot say this to your face at all, like I did last time. _

_You are an amazing woman, and I am leaving because it is what I think is best for you. The same style of reason as last time. A bad one that you would bat aside in an instant. _

_Listen to your mother, please, for me. Keep yourself safe and out of trouble as much as your two left feet and five thumbs on each hands can cope with. _

_Goodbye._

_Remus_

_PS, I left a stash of Honeydukes in the bottom draw of the dresser, don't eat it all at once! _

"I'm so sorry honey," Andromeda whispered, reading the letter. To her surprise, her daughter chuckled and turned her hair blue, plucking the letter from her mother's hand.

"Stupid man," she smiled fondly, "He'll be back."

"What makes you say that?"

"Harry. I don't think Harry will appreciate Remus running out of me when he finds out I'm up the duff," Dora rubbed her swollen stomach fondly. "His own father had no choice, he will force Remus back to me. Whatever it takes. Also, he came back before, he just can't stay away from me. "

"How can you be sure?"

"I'm not, now what was that piece about chocolate?"

...

Remus tore out of the vaulted room in Grimmauld Place as if wild dogs were on his tail. He was fuming. How dare that teenager talk to him like that! He was doing what was right for his wife and unborn child. He was letting them have a life. How dare Harry go on like that!

He apparated to a bar he knew just outside London and stormed in, ordering a straight whisky with people who didn't know him. The barmaid scurried away, terrified by the animalistic glint in his eyes.

_But_, a small voice whispered tentatively in the back of his mind, _Harry's right_.

He hadn't even said goodbye properly to Dora. He knew he wouldn't be able to leave if he'd tried to say it to her face. It would have been impossible to go.

And he did feel sorry for Andromeda. A moody Dora and no steady Ted to balance her character out.

He wondered how the Tonks household was going to cope with two absent minded women who lived in fairyland and often forgot the simplest of things. Luckily, Andromeda could do household spells and had a very good _reparo_. You needed them with Dora around.

He knocked back his whisky, cringed as the liquid slid down his throat and ordered another. It was all he had the muggle money for.

He left slightly calmer than when he had entered and feeling slightly fuzzy about the brain. Where was he going to go?

He couldn't go home, but who else would understand?

Bill Weasley might listen. Remus recalled Bill telling him the address. Shell Cottage or something similar. He might as well try it. He twisted on the spot and ended up in a tangled heap on the wet pavement. _Damn alcohol_.

He got up, unsteadily and concentrated hard. _Shell cottage, shell cottage, shell cottage_. He twisted on the spot, was squeezed through a narrow elastic band, and emptied the contents of his stomach over the cliff and into the churning sea.

Ahead of him was a cottage with welcoming light spilling from the doorway. Remus staggered forward when he felt himself immobilised by a charm.

"Who are you, what do you want?" demanded Bill Weasley's voice.

"I am Remus John Lupin, member of the Order of the Phoenix, I'm a werewolf married to Nymphadora Tonks, who is recently pregnant," he managed to spit through gritted teeth. The last part nearly killed him. The charm released.

"Hey mate," Bill's scarred face swam into view and patted Remus on the shoulder. "What's up? Come on in, Fleur was just about to make some tea."

Remus, weary traveller, followed Bill into the warm kitchen and greeted Fleur by a nod. He shouldn't have come here. It was all too happy family.

"So what can we do for you mate?" Bill asked, propping his feet up onto the table. Fleur glared at him from across the kitchen, wearing a flowered apron so that she reminded Remus of a blonde and much younger Molly.

"I shouldn't have come," Remus whispered, sinking down into him chair and cradling his head in his hands.

"Why did you come?" Fleur asked curiously "'eef you know you shouldn't 'ave?"

"Why did you come in the first place?" Bill asked, raising an eyebrow and causing his scars to contort.

"I left Dora again," Remus admitted in a barely audible whisper. Bill started and Fleur looked scandalised.

"How much did you drink Remus," Bill exclaimed "Coz there is no way that you would leave Tonks in your right mind!"

"I didn't have anything, I thought they'd be better off without me," Remus was rocking gently in his chair, his eyes fixed on a point far away. Bill knew that nothing would get through to him now, and settled down to listen. Fleur turned back to the tea and poured a jot of Firewhisky into one of the cups. "I didn't even say it to her face, I wrote her a note. I thought, I could go with Harry, _earn_ the right for her to love me. It never made any sense. I'm old, dangerous poor, ugly, hardly brave and not recognised as a citizen. I never earn't her love..."

"Remus, you didn't need too," Bill said gently. "Tonks loves you for who you are. It's never made any sense to any of us either, don't worry, it's like the punk and the librarian. But she never gave up on you. She loves you Remus. And your baby will love you. You just had to be you to earn her love, you don't need to prove anything." Bill sat back "Anyway, I'm guessing Harry turned you down otherwise you wouldn't be here."

Remus looked at his friend's son through bleary, bloodshot, and strangely unfocussed eyes. Bill put a hand out to stop his wife, and switched the cups.

"He doesn't need any more," Bill murmured, handing Remus his own tea minus the firewhiskey. He gulped it down. "Remus, you can stay here tonight, drink off however much you've drunk tonight, but you have to go back to Tonks in the morning."

Remus hung his head like an apprehended schoolboy.

"Thank you Bill."

...

Remus paused, just outside the garden, wondering whether it was going to be a slap or a hex. Fleur had doled him up with Hangover remedy, so at least he had a clear head. He took a deep breath and stepped into the garden. Before he could reach it the door opened, and a blur shot out, a streak or blue that barrelled into him. The blur squeezed him tightly for a second, then stepped back.

"A letter?" she asked in disbelief "You dumped me with _a letter_?"

"umm, about that-" Remus started, but he was stopped short by a stinging slap across his face. He turned back to his short wife and stared at her cheerful eyes. "Slap not hex? That's the second time I've walked on you and all I get is a slap?"

"Are you complaining?"

"No, no, just confused," he replied hurriedly. Dora slipped her arm through his and walked himto the door.

"Mum?" She called to the house "he's home"

Andromeda stuck her head around the door to the kitchen, followed by her body. She looked 100% angrier than her daughter had been.

"A letter?" she exclaimed. "You dumped my daughter with _a letter_?"

It really was amazing how much mother and daughter were alike.

"So neither of you are angry that I left," Remus confirmed slowly "But both angry that I left a letter explaining what I had done?"

Both women nodded.

"You women never cease to amaze me."

"Oh I knew you would come back," Dora grinned cheekily. "You came back last time and Harry was hardly going to help you run away again."

"But _a letter_?" Andromeda continued. "Not face to face, or by, I don't know, patronus, but _a letter_?"

"Right, I'm going to go and try work out the appropriate response to that," Remus began to back `towards the door again.

"Oh no you don't Remus," Dora laughed "You have to be man of the house now and you have lots of jobs to do, mum?"

Her mother flourished a sheaf of parchment causing Remus to groan. This was the punishment for leaving? Manual labour?

Maybe he should have stayed away...


	20. Going outside

**A/N skipping bout... 2 months here... Tonks is 5 or so months pregnant. **

Dora glanced over her shoulder as she crept down the dark hallway, her hair dark and obscuring her sallow skin and features. She wanted to be the sort of person you wouldn't look twice at. She'd even contemplated dissolusionment charms, but to be honest, she wasn't that great at them. Mad-Eye had always cast them for her.

She felt a pang in her chest at the memory. Mad Eye was dead. He had been for four months now. It was nearly Christmas.

She needed to get out of this house, she felt as if she was suffocating. She couldn't do anything because the damned amazing baby kept making her morphs go funny – hence sallow skin and why she looked like a relative of Severus Snape. She wanted to walk down the street, even if she turned back once she got to the end and came back again.

What was the probability that some Death Eater was going to jump her when she looked like a fat Muggle? Actually, Dear Aunt Bellatrix probably had a permanent watch over the area, cackling insanely, waiting for either her sister or freaky niece to come out.

She laid her hand on the door handle and tapped it with her wand, unlocking the door with a soft click.

Unfortunately, she had too open the door quite wide in order to squeeze her now considerable bulk through. She missed being slim.

She was halfway down the neat garden path when she heard the door open behind her.

She stopped, sighing in defeat and automatically morphing back to her standard hair.

"Hello," She sighed again, turning round and folding her arms across her bump. Remus was leaning against the doorway, already wearing his muggle clothing, and with a sad look to his face. "Please Remus."

There was a reason that Nymphadora Tonks-Lupin was trying to creep out of the door before sunrise and without knocking anything over – quite successfully – she didn't want to rouse her slightly defiantly over protective husband, or her so-protective-cotton-wool-was-an-understatement mother.

To her surprise, Remus stepped forward and pulled the door shut behind him, flicking his wand as he went.

Dora's mouth fell open in surprise. Her husband approached her and proffered her his arm.

"You might as well look whatever you like my dear," He smiled down at her. "Everyone in the village knows you, and Mrs Paxmore is always out with that dratted dog of hers at this time."

"It's six O'clock, in winter."

"I know, madness."

Tonks paused.

"Remus?"

"Yes my dear?"

"Why are you letting me out?" She knew she sounded a little like a petulant schoolchild, but she was incredibly confused.

"Because the constraints of the garden have been exhausted and I don't quite know how else I can keep you indoors, little of stupefy every night and waking you up in the mornings," he looked down at her, took her arm, and continued their stroll down the lane. "I can't keep you indoors all the time Dora, so at least, promise me that whenever you do want to come outside, I am with you?"

"Of course my love," Dora smiled softly to herself. "And there I was thinking I was being clever by getting up before you woke."

Remus chuckled. Suddenly he stood stock still, his head turned slightly East, up ahead of them. Tonks stiffened next to him, looking around. Her senses weren't as good as his wolfy ones, but training had made them pretty good. She slid her wand from her sleeve, tensed for the attack.

"What's going on," she whispered up to her husband's taller form. He shushed her and motioned for them to start walking slowly backwards to the house, only about 4oo yards away. Dora watched as he drew his own wand. Panic kicked in. The hand not grasping her wand as if it were a lifeline, folded tightly around Remus's elbow.

Then Dora heard what Remus had moments before. A rustling sound, loud in the silence, and a sort of rasping sound, like manic breathing. She couldn't see anything.

_Bellatrix_! Flashed into her mind instantly.

They continued their slow move backwards, Dora keeping her eyes trained forward, glancing back every second or so to ensure she didn't lose her footing and that nothing had crept up behind them.

Not far to the gate.

Suddenly, a figure appeared out of the shrubbery ahead of them. Manic, wild eyes stared out the gaps in a mask.

"well, look at this then! Bellatrix will be pleased," the mask leered. "She wants to find you so badly you see, she's absolutely torturing herself to wish you happy returns of your, filthy inhuman wedding. And what about the brat. Oh, she wants to meet it so... desperately."

Remus and Dora's wands moved simultaneously and as quick as lightning. The figure fell in a crumpled heap on the ground.

"What curse did you use?" Dora whispered, her eyes wide with fear. Remus didn't respond, instead  
causing chains to wind round the stunned form. "What will we do with him Remus? Remus?"

Dora had never properly seen the look that possessed her kind hearted werewolf when he lost control and became wolf. But she saw it now. Fierce, animalistic, wild. It scared her, knowing that there was this side to her husband she didn't really know. She laid a hand on his arm again. He responded automatically to her touch, relaxing a little.

"Remus, its OK, we're safe now. I'll call someone from the order to get him," she reassured him. With that she raised her wand and sent a quick message to Kingsley.

"Go home Dora," he growled. Dora shook her head, stubbornly. A part of her was scared of what he might do if left on his own. They weren't Death Eaters.

She was relived, and felt safer, when Kingsley and Arthur appeared next to her, wands aloof. Arthur wiped his memory and set a transporter charm to take the man, recognised from their files as Dolohov, to some place very far away where he wouldn't be able to go anywhere unless he walked. Remus had Dolohov's wand snapping under the strain in his hands.

Kingsley walked them the last few meters to the front garden.

"He threatened her," Remus snarled in a low voice, the glint in his eye fading. "They threatened my family. I should have just killed him."

"no," Funnily enough it was Kingsley who got the first word in, though Dora's mouth had opened to chide him. "We are not like that. We fight to protect. Keep your anger for Dolohov for later, when you need it. We are not Death Eaters."

Dora suddenly felt a strange movement in her abdomen. Her hand flew to her stomach in surprise. Of all the times!

"Remus," she exclaimed excitedly, rubbing her stomach with both hands. Both men turned to her, confused. "He kicked Remus, he kicked!"

Remus frowned, registering her comment before a beam spread across his features and he swept his small wife up into a hug. Kingsley chuckled and Arthur smiled, remembering Molly's exclamation with all six pregnancy's. It never got old.

"I still think it'll be a girl," Remus laughed, swinging her around the garden.

Dora hit him on the arm sharply.

"I am telling you, it's a boy!"

"How much are you willing to bet then mummy?"

"Hmmmm, how about, painting the nursery whatever colour I choose if its a boy, and you're boring red and gold if its a girl."

"Deal."

And it was too bright happy laughter that Andromeda woke up that morning, looked out to the garden to see her daughter and son-in-law, an old friend, and a new one. For the first time in stressful days, she smiled a true happy smile.

**A/N has anyone seen Deathly Hallows part 1 yet? LOVE It. **


	21. Potterwatch

"So," Tonks started "Anything happening?"

Andromeda sighed "Not since five minutes ago at any rate."

Dora puffed out her cheeks and slumped back on the sofa, one hand gently tracing circles on her massive stomach, the other curling her dark grey hair around her fingers. She felt old and fat. No longer able to walk successfully, she had taken to just sitting. Not to mention the fact both husband and mother were worried that she might accidently trip and hurt herself or the baby.

Remus was out. It had been agreed that the evening's order meeting was to be held at the Tonks' family home, because it had also been agreed that the oh-so-active Dora really couldn't leave the house so late in her pregnancy. Also, Molly was going to be staying till the baby was born.

"When's everyone getting here?"

"Five o'clock Dora, you know that."

"OK."... "Mum, I'm bored."

"You're not five any more Dora-dear, you must have something you can do?"

Dora sighed "Not this fat. I have to waddle everywhere, I can't bend over for anything and –" she broke off, breathing in deeply "- I keep having these bloody prelim contractions!"

"It's only a few weeks Dora-dear," Andromeda soothed "Then you will be wishing you were just pregnant again."

"I can't possibly believe that Mother," Dora chuckled bitterly "I'm not sleeping anyway. Massive fights for space between me and baby. It is so uncomfortable and even magic can't relieve the bloody pain!"

"Two weeks dear, just two weeks," Andromeda repeated, biting the end of her thread.

...

"So, Remus, how's Tonks doing? She breaking down the walls yet?" Fred asked, winking at his careworn friend. His twin chuckled.

"To be honest Remus, I'm surprised she hasn't gone into hiding already!"

Remus sighed, twiddling dials on the recording equipment in front of them.

"Well, put it this way, I can't wait until the baby is born."

Kingsley sighed, and shook his head. "This is the itinerary for the episode. And you two need to remember that we are giving people hope, that the fight against you-know-who is supplemented by us."

"We know Kingsley," George sighed dramatically "Remus has already gone through the drill with us. So Remus, what are you calling the baby?"

"Not a clue."

"Anyone seen Lee?" Kingsley asked, casting a glance around. "He is supposed to be here."

Lee burst through the door, his hair swinging dramatically behind him.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late, I wasn't sure if I had a Death Eater trailing me or not, so I took a couple of random tangents," he said breathlessly, removing his cloak, hat and gloves. "How's everyone?"

"Remus is knackered, Tonks is about to pop, Kingsley's fine, and Fred and I are about to die," George said seriously. Remus rolled his eyes. This was _important_, but he wasn't entirely sure that either twin knew how to _be_ serious. He wanted to be at home, there was an Order meeting tonight, but he and Kingsley were arriving late to do this.

"Good to hear it," Lee responded, pulling his magical mike towards him. "Ready to roll?"

"You haven't been asked the question yet," Kingsley said quietly, drawing his wand. Lee pushed the mike away and looked expectant. "What creature lurked in the corner of our first office?"

"A knarl," Was Lee's immediate response. "Can we get on now?"

"You know the rules Lee," Remus said quietly, preparing the equipment. "Ready?"

Lee nodded, once again drawing the mike close. Remus pointed his wand at the machine. "Good evening People of _Potterwatch_! Glad you could join us! We apologise for our temporary absence from the airwaves, which was due to a number of house-calls in the area by those charming Death Eaters. But now we are back again now we've found ourselves another secure location, and I am pleased to tell you that two of our regular contributors have joined me here this evening. Evening boys!"

"Hi," Remus said into the room.

"Evening River," Kingsley's deep voice reverberated next to him.

Remus couldn't stop thinking about home, and about Tonk's. It was the Weasley twin's who'd started it. Lee, Kingsley and himself had a sort of taciturn agreement not to mention his dearest and nearest. Not for the first time, he worried about leaving her, and about the baby and about the upcoming battle when Harry came back.

He was bought out of his revive by hearing Lee saying his late Father-In-Laws name. Dora had cried for hours while Dromeda just looked faintly shocked by the whole affair. Lee was giving the recent news in the Wizarding, and Muggle communities which meant that Remus had a few minutes to himself, without the Weasley twin's side comments about Dora's inability to sit still and do nothing. If anything, that was one of the most worrisome character traits his wife shared with her cousin. Neither could stay inside and do as they were told, and look what'd happened to Sirius. Merlin his thoughts were a mess. He was glad when Lee turned to him for his piece.

"And now, over to Romulus for our popular feature, Pals of Potter."

"Thanks River," Remus started, leaning forward in his chair.

"Romulus, do you maintain, as you have every time you've appeared on the programme, that Harry Potter is still alive?" Lee asked. It was always this question to begin with, soothe people that Harry was still out there fighting for them.

"I do," Remus said firmly, thinking of his best friends son, yelling at him across a room because he didn't believe a father should voluntarily leave his child. "There is no doubt at all in my mind that his death would be proclaimed as widely as possible by the Death Eaters if it happened, because it would strike a deadly blow at the morale of those resisting the new regime. The "Boy Who Lived" remains a symbol of everything for which we are fighting; the triumph of good, the power of innocence, the need to keep resisting." _The knowledge to do what is right, the strength to do it to.._.

"And what would you say to Harry if you knew he was listening Romulus?" Lee asked.

_Please be listening, please be listening. I'm sorry for getting angry at you, I've forgiven what you said. I trust you. And You were damn right._ No, he couldn't say that.

"I'd tell him we're all with him in spirit," _(especially him and Dora at least_) then he hesitated, wondering if there was any way he could thank Harry without actually thanking him... "And I'd tell him to follow his instincts, which are good and nearly always right." He would have gone crawling back to Tonks at the soonest opportunity if Harry hadn't kicked him back with his metaphorical tail between his legs.

He gave his pre-written update on all things Potter-related, including Xenophilius Lovegood and Hagrid, without really thinking about it. His time was nearly up, he could soon go home to Dora and the massive bump and his over-bearing Mother-in-Law who he actually got on very well with. Hang on, Lee was talking again...

"Listeners, that brings us to the end of another _Potterwatch_. We don't know when it will be possible to broadcast again, but you can be sure we shall be back. Keep twiddling those dials: the next password will be "Mad-Eye". Keep each other safe: Keep faith. Goodnight."

The machine fell silent.

"Well, at least we gave them a laugh," Fred said quietly, string forlornly at the machine. George nodded.

"We've got to scram now," George said, standing up. "Meetings at yours isn't it Remus?"

"What? Yes, they'll be expecting us back any second now," Remus nodded, closing down the machine. Lee had his coat on again. Remus handed him the broadcasting equipment. "Get home safely Lee."

Lee nodded. "See you around," he said nervously, before stepping out into the sheeting rain.

Kingsley and the twins nodded, muttering see you in a secs before stepping out and apparating to the Tonks family home. Remus savoured the silence for a second before apparating away as well.

...

"...Goodnight." The wireless went dead. Dora Tonks reached up and turned the faintly whining machine off. A small sense of relief filled her chest. Remus was coming home. Yes, the latest _Potterwatch_ had bought the dreadful news that her beloved father was dead, but Remus was safe, and would be home again, very shortly.

She turned to the congregation. "Kingsley and Remus are on their way now."

Her lower abdomen twinged. Tonks sighed. She really hated being pregnant.

**A/N I know its not amazing, I had to copy quite a lot of the speech directly from the book anyway, but I think its a good passing timer. Anyway, see you soon guys. **


	22. Teddy Lupin

Night was upon the house, and the three inhabitants plus their guest were all sleeping soundly. Andromeda had fallen asleep with a book across her chest and glasses perched on the end of her nose. Molly Weasley was feeling lost in her large guest bed without the person she'd been lying next to for twenty odd years. It had taken a while for her to get to sleep. Remus and Dora was curled up next to each other; Dora on her back, her head turned towards Remus's shoulder. One of each hand was resting gently upon the eight and a half month baby bulge which had caused Dora so much discomfort and had stopped her from sleeping.

All was quiet. Then the spell broke.

Dora sat bolt upright in her bed, her hands clasped around her stomach. Very wide awake. Remus sat up next to her, bleary eyed and not quite awake yet.

"Wassamatter?" He mumbled, rubbing a hand across his eyes. Dora shook her head slowly.

"Maybe just another Braxton Hicks or whatever it is they're called," She said slowly. She went to lie down again, but ended up hissing in pain as a sharp and unrelenting pain shot through her abdomen.

Remus turned on the light and staggered out into the hall.

"Molly, Andromeda," He called, knowcking on their doors. "I think Dora's having the baby!"

Molly was the first to respond. Seven children had rendered her a light sleeper, even if they were away at school for most of the year. She rushed out of her room, pulling on a pale pink dressing gown. She began issuing instructions to Remus as Andromeda rushed out of her bedroom, glasses askew.

"Are you sure?" Andromeda asked, as bleary eyed as Remus had been seconds before.

"YES IM BLOODY SURE!" Dora screamed from the bedroom.

...

Remus paced the living room swiftly. Every now and then he would wince, glancing up to the ceiling as he heard Dora scream in agony. He had a vague idea what she must be feeling, after all, his entire body transformed – not in a nice, easy way – once every month and it always felt as if his whole body was being torn apart. Molly and Andromeda had been exchanging birth horrors for the past few days, over their clicking needles. Molly had said giving birth felt like being torn apart, but it was worth it in the end. Dora had turned deathly white and sidled out of the room, mumbling about tea.

In a way, he was glad he had been forcibly removed from his wife's birthing chamber. He didn't want to _see_ Dora in pain, pain that she would undoubtedly blame on him. But he couldn't help feeling responsible. And he really didn't want to see the blood and gore, from his own wife. She had wanted him there, but Molly and Andromeda had insisted he leave. Apparently when they were both in labour (All six times in Molly's case) men simply weren't allowed in the room. Maybe they had just decided that. It was, what, twenty-five years ago?

Hearing her was bad enough. Dora didn't exactly have a high threshold for pain. Stubbed toes and paper cuts was about her limit. Another scream shattered the peace. Two minutes apart now. Remus was suddenly thankful that he was a man, although most men didn't have to face agonising transformations every month. He didn't have to give birth at all. He was just a dad. Oh Merlin, he was almost a father!

Remus sat down, staring without seeing, he watched the sun's steady progress over the tops of the pine trees lining the garden, and as the sun began to change from inky blue to a softer, paler. Baby. Blue.

It was a sign, it had to be. No pinks and reds graced the sky this morning, just blue. And the yellow orb that was the shining sun. Ok, now he was being ridiculous. There was no such sign, he was just sleep-deprived, anxious... freaking terrified.

Of all the things he had faced, all the people he had lost, all the transformations and full moons, yet this was what he was scared of. A baby.

Full moons... what if the baby was like him? A recurring grievance. Dora had always told him he was being stupid, completely and utterly stupid. She said that there was no way of knowing if their baby was going to be a were-wolf or even half. In fact, she'd always joked that maybe the baby will be born with a lot of hair and sharp teeth – she refused to breast feed if this was the case. He didn't think it very funny. The full moon was in eight days time. So if their baby was a... like his father, he – or she- would only be a mere week old before its first transformation.

He rested his head in his hands, trying to blot out all noise. He didn't notice it had fallen silent and that a tired looking Molly Weasley was stood in the doorway, cleaning her hands on a red towel (red before the birth thankfully) .

"Remus?" Molly said softly. Remus jumped up and spun around.

"Is she Ok?" he demanded "Is Dora ok?"

"of course she is you silly man," Molly chuckled "She only had a baby. Agonising I must say, but she's done now."

"Thank Merlin," Remus sank into the chair again "I would never have forgiven myself if something had happened to her!"

"She wants to see you," Molly smiled "Dromeda's with her at the moment, bit of Mother-daughter congratulations and tears. But she's been asking me to get you for a full minute now."

Remus didn't wait to be told twice. He ran swiftly up the stairs, but stopped, just outside the ajar door to his room. He could see Dora, her hair bright, eye-watering pink again, sat up in the bed with a white bundle in her arms. She looked exhausted. But so happy.

He pushed open the door as quietly as he could. She looked up, and her face split into the most radient smile she had ever had.

"A boy," she whispered, tears springing into her eyes "We've got a little boy!"

Remus sank down on the bed next to her, slipping an arm around her slim shoulders and kissing her gently on the head.

"Well done," he said sincerely, he had no idea how else he could say how magnificent he thought she was at that particular time. She seemed to understand.

Andromeda smiled at them and left the room, leaving the little happy family together for a few minutes.

"I win," Dora chuckled quietly.

"You what?"

"Any colour, I said it would be a boy," she smiled softly, then looked down at the tiny black haired face in her arms. "Dad would have loved to have met him. His grandson..."

"Well then," Remus started "Lets call him after your dad."

"What?"

"Ted Lupin doesn't sound that bad does it?" he teased gently. "Then your Dad is still in the family."

Dora, tears in her eyes, leant back against her husband. "I love it."

"Oh, and by the way my dear, black hair... should you be telling me something?" he laughed was Dora sent him evil dagger glare. Cruitatus if ever there was one. "I'm only joking, I'm so proud of you for doing that."

"Y'know, if I ever say you're a wus at full moon again, remind me of this, kay?"

"Okay."

"So, do you want to hold him, or do I have to do all the work?" It was Dora's turn to tease. Remus swallowed nervously but extracted his arm from round Dora's shoulders in order to take his son.

His son. _His_ son. His _son_. Christ he had a son.

The baby opened his little scrunched up eyes and instantly began to cry. Remus hastily handed him back.

"Your domain I think my dear," he said lightly. Dora smiled nervously.

"Don't suppose you can get my mum hey Remus? It's just, no offence. You've never done this either..."

Remus was out of the room faster than you could say feed the baby.

...

**Tonks POV**

Teddy Lupin. _My baby_. My bloody baby. Merlin I've had a _baby_. I always swore I wouldn't fall in love. You know, love love. Proper love. Love with a capital L that ends in marriage, kids and monotony. Nah, I always thought I'd have relationships, but wouldn't have kids or settle down till my thirty's, at least! I had my auror work and stuff like that.

Now look at me, twenty-five, married to a werewolf with a baby in my arms and numb... down there... tell you what though, I defiantly won't be having another in a hurry. I'll wait till after the war. Pregnancy is horrible, but labour is _hell_. That is providing both Remus and I survive the war. It won't be long till Harry calls for all of us to rally against He-who-must-not-be-named. Remus will go. He will want me to stay. Stay with Teddy. Our Teddy. Our..._baby_... I honestly never thought I'd say that! To think, when I was seventeen I was dating Charlie Weasley! What? Just friends from the second we left school though. Still friends now actually. Blimey how time moves on...

Teddy seems to be like me. His hair was dark black when he was born; Remus had the cheek to suggest – even in a bloody joke!- that I'd been mucking around! Cheeky sod. If I wasn't so damn knackered I'd given him the biggest slap ever! But now, his hairs softened, it's a sort of reddish-gingery colour now. Probably be blonde when Remus get's back! Mum says I did that when I was a baby. So, little Teddy's a Metamorphmagi. Lucky sod. And there I was saying that metamorphmagi's were really rare. Now there's two. A Tonks and a Lupin. Well, Technically it must be a Tonks gene, because of me.

Remus wants Harry to be his Godfather. I wanted Hermione and Ginny to be Godmothers or something. But you couldn't ask two of the trio and then the thirds younger sister. Hardly fair on Ron is it. But I suppose Ron and Hermione are marginally more likely to survive this war than Harry is. But hey, there's a war on, we could all die in the next second. Especially with a lunatic aunt like mine. So it was agreed, that Harry is godfather. I reckon he will make as good a godfather to my little boy as Sirius was to him. I even think he will be just as reckless. Ron would just be idiotic. No, Remus was right, we have to have Harry as our son's godfather. It is a little depressing, planning for that eventuality.

I can't stop watching him. I counted ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes. Its amazing how small a baby is! Its a tiny human that depends on you for everything! Feeding, changing, cleaning, mobility. This tiny little human life is completely reliant on me and Remus.

Freaking Hell that's a terrifying thought! Remus is thrilled. We just have to wait for the next full moon to see if his theory is correct. I think its absolute tosh. Remus became a werewolf because he was bitten by one, that doesn't necessarily mean it's in his genes, it just changed him.

Poor kid. Reliant on me and Remus. It is gonna be so messed up! Remus with his rules and me with my carefree do whatever and pay the consequences later attitude. We are seriously gonna have to find a middle ground. And then I get to teach him how to be a magus! Wicked. I think sickness lessons are gonna have to wait until OWL year. Remus will kill me if he realised I've taught our son how to skive of Divination or whatever crackpot subject he's taken. I am merely going to teach him that brighter is better. And he always has to have a flouro colour whenever we come to see Nana.

I just hope that I live to see him grow up to be the magnificent boy I can tell he's going to become. And I hope You-Know-Who and my Batty aunt Bella, won't be around for much longer to spoil it for him.

I'm a mother now, threaten my baby and you'll die a most painful death.

**A/N Having never actually given birth, I decided to just do Remus waiting, its a lot easier than trying to describe what others have told me. And I exaggerated with what Molly was saying, coz who doesn't like over exaggerating labour to a mum-to-be?**


	23. Alright

Remus jiggled his son gently in his arms, attempting to get the little sod back to sleep before Dora woke up and yelled at him that it was his fault she still wasn't getting any sleep. Currently she was out cold on the sofa. He was still in a sort of daze. A week, a whole seven days they had had little Teddy Lupin, crying, pooping and sleeping. A lot. But the positives far outweighed the messy...side effects. As he had no control over his morphing abilities, Teddy was quite the entertainment whenever he was happy, with his hair changing colour at whatever happened to take his tiny fantasy. He seemed to enjoy a sort of blue-blonde, almost as if the poor boy was torn between his mothers beautiful blue hair and his father's sandy brown.

His hair was a godsend when they woke up to his crying in the middle of the night. Browny meant "oops I've made my nappy rather uncomfortable daddy", a reddish simply meant "give me to mummy for a singsong and a cuddle" and white blonde was "FEED ME NOW". Not many parents could say that deciding what their son wanted was as easily as looking at him.

And he was everything that they could have possibly imagined, and so much more. He was perfect, just the way he was.

Teddy had fallen into a doze, his tiny thumb stuck in his tiny mouth, his hair back to the blackish colour it had been when he was born. Remus looked down at his son. _His son._ It still hadn't sunk in. He, Remus Lupin, werewolf and the one person at Hogwarts who was guaranteed to end up on his own, had a _son_.

It was the full moon that night. Remus was going to be in the cellar, as usual. Even after his Wolfsbane potion, he liked to make 100% sure that he would not hurt Dora or Andromeda and now Teddy. They had been putting a small amount of wolfsbane onto Teddy's dummy for a few days. Andromeda had said it wouldn't hurt to be sure, and that meant that Dora could watch over her newborn in his crib. And if he did – however unlikely – turn into a little wolf pup, Dora would be entirely safe. They had even put protective enchantments around the crib in case he proved to be very active as a possible-but-unlikely-eventuality werewolf pup. Remus was worried. He hated the thought that he could be the cause for so much pain for his son. He hoped beyond hope that Dora and Andromeda were right, that his affliction had not affected his genes to the point where the mutation could be passed on.

It was still morning though. A beautiful early April morning. Suddenly feeling inspired, Remus turned to the old writing desk in the corner. He could see Dora, stretched out across the sofa in sheer exhaustion. Catching winks between painful feeds. And Teddy in his arms, he was contented. He had his family. The one he never thought he would have. The most unconventional family that had ever existed.

The werewolf and the metamorphmagi.

The punk and the librarian.

The rebel and the school teacher.

And now there were three.

Three's a crowd? No. Three was perfect.

Him, and Dora, and Teddy. The perfect unconventional family.

The Lupin's. The shape-shifting freaks of the wizarding world.

...

"Dora?"

...

"Dora-dear?"

...

Dora jumped up as her son emitted a high pitched scream. Remus was stood over her looking sheepish.

"Sorry, thought I'd better tell you that it was tea time, but Teddy seems to have already let you know..." He smiled, handing the crying bundle to her.

Dora sighed and rubbed her eyes blearily. She loved her son, more than she could have ever thought possible. But right now, she wished he was being bottle fed so that she could catch up with some damn sleep!

"Ok, ok little man!" She soothed, arranging her child so she could undo her bra to feed him. It still felt weird, latching him on and watching him suckle, but it still felt so right. He was a little tiny utterly dependant being. Her baby. She hummed a lullaby to him, more to keep herself entertained while he had his dinner.

Remus bought her in a cup of tea and sat down with a book next to her. He looked haggard and exhausted. She knew that she had the better end of the deal in merely having the baby to deal with. Remus had the full moon exhaustion plus the baby blue exhaustion.

"Hey," she grinned over at him "It'll be ok, you just wait and see!"

"How can you be so sure about everything Dora?" Remus replied tiredly, running a hand over his eyes. "How are you so bloody optimistic all the time? Isn't it exhausting?"

"Actually, I find that in times of trouble it helps to have a light at the end of the tunnel," She paused for a second, "At the risk of sounding like a cheesy motivational speech thing; Let me be your light. Let Teddy. You have us to look forward to. So its time to start changing your attitude Remus Lupin and start loving what you have!"

She hadn't meant to start scolding him but somehow, her words of motivation became a little tell off. Remus glanced over at his wife and smiled, one of the few truly happy smiles he had given her over the last forty-eight hours.

"I knew I married you for a reason."

"And that reason is simply that I wouldn't let you get away! You had very little say in the matter dear," she answered matter of factly. Remus chuckled.

"Well then, it's a good thing I love you, isn't it?" he teased.

Andromeda in the kitchen sighed a sign of relief. They were laughing and joking and teasing again. Everything would be ok now, for her little family at least. She knew better than anyone that having a baby could tear a couple apart, at least for a while. She and Ted had nearly given up but by the time her little Nymphadora was three months old, everything had been sorted out. And she knew that Remus and her baby had been through too much for it to all be thrown away over petty arguments over the baby and werewolves. Dora wouldn't let it fall to pieces, no matter how much Remus still felt like he had let her down.

Andromeda filled the teapot (her upbringing had left some things permanently engraved) and pushed open the door.

"Tea anyone?"

...

Dora stood in the window of her room humming a lullaby to Teddy, watching the sun go down over the horizon. Remus was incarcerated into the cellar as was his wont and soon she would have to relinquish her little baby to his cot and sit in the rocking chair to wait the rising of the moon. She would never have admitted it to her husband, but she had a secret terror that Teddy would be a werewolf as well, after all, they had no way of knowing beforehand. Every mother wants what is best for her child after all, and if he was a werewolf, Teddy would have as hard a life as his Father before him. No job, no prospects, harsh legislation, public fear; the whole kit and caboodle.

Tonight they would find out. Just seven days old, too young for such pain.

Andromeda appeared silently in the doorway, a pot of tea and a pack of digestives floating before her. She could see the outline of her only child, gently rocking as she hummed. She waited until Dora had returned to the chorus before joining in

"_Swing low, sweet chariot, coming for to carry me home_," She sang softly. Dora turned around to join in "_Swing low, sweet chariot. Coming, for, to, carry me... home." _

"Dora, he's fast asleep, put him down for the night," Andromeda whispered, gently guiding her to the crib. Dora seemed to cling onto him, turning back with a plea in her eyes. "Now baby, come on..." Slowly, Dora loosened her grip and laid her son down, taking a great length of time arranging the blanket and his little teddy before bending over and giving him a light kiss on his forehead.

"You used to sing that," Dora murmured, settling back in her rocking chair suddenly exhausted. "When I was little. Dad always used to sing the Beatles."

"Stupid obsession with that muggle band," Andromeda muttered, unable to be too cross with her husband and feeling a sudden longing to hear him booming "let it be" again. "What I wouldn't give to hear him singing them again..."

"I know, me too. Sometimes, I wish I was a child still, back in the 80's fitting right in with the eccentricity of the muggles! Now I have one, I realised how much I am still a child to some extent," she sighed. "for him, everything is easy. He has mummy and daddy. Mummy sings and daddy reads long boring books about history, he likes to eat and likes the colour blue. He's only a week old and I can see a pattern forming for his life. Mummy will indulge and daddy will educate..."

"It was the opposite way round for you dear," Andromeda smiled softly at the memory. "You ran to your daddy when you thought I was being too mean!"

"You were pretty harsh on me mum," Dora murmured, half asleep, "I couldn't always control what I looked like and grew up morphing to colours that I knew would annoy you until they looked right and brown hair looked wrong."

"I got you wrong my dear and I'm sorry. You were a colourful personality and I gave you too many restrictions. I should have realised how much you would have been like me!"

"What do you mean – like you? I always thought I was like dad, free and easy and not giving a damn."

"You're forgetting my dear, who rebelled against their education and upbringing, deserting their family and their entire projected _life_? I always was a rebel where rules were concerned. I may have been a prefect in my day, but that was only because I was one of the better behaved in school!" Andromeda chuckled. "My family never really forgave me for the Hufflepuff sorting. Except Sirius of course, two peas in a pod, he and I. The white sheep in the black family. Yes Nymphadora, you can look incredulous all you like! You didn't think you inherited _rebellion_ from your _father_ do you? No, that was entirely me. I should have recognised that you were a free spirit and hated to be bound in any way. I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologising? I was Dad's little firecracker! I was a crazy kid and I can see now that some of the rules were actually reasonable," She paused thoughtfully, feeling more awake than she had previously. Dora had never really been understood by her mother, she was loved undoubtedly, adored may have even come closer. But it was always her dear old dad who had really understood her and her wild ways. "Remus and I are going to be like that I think. I always felt as if dad understood me, and you didn't. I have a feeling Teddy will understand me much more than what goes on in Remus's head. Hell, I don't even know what goes through Remus's head sometimes."

"Don't curse in front of the baby," Andromeda said absently, sipping her tea and staring at her grandson.

"Mum... he's asleep... and a week old...he can't talk yet!" she wanted to laugh. But suddenly noticing how bright the room had got, stood up and crossed to the window. There, almost laughing at her, was the moon. Full and white and bright. A shining werewolf moon.

"Is he ok?" Dora dashed back over to the crib, hanging over the edge to look at her little baby boy. Her perfect, human still baby boy. "He hasn't changed. How long should I give it?"

"A couple more minutes, Remus will still be changing. It's only just appeared," Andromeda appeared perfectly calm and unperturbed by the rather unusual goings on in her house. She sipped her tea. Dora gently smoothed Teddy's thick brown hair from his forehead to look at his face. Peaceful, she decided he looked, not in any form of pain. He was still her gorgeous little boy and the moon had been risen for a good few minutes, illuminating his face in an almost ghostly way. Slowly, the fear began to recede and was replaced by hope.

"Mum," she whispered "I think he is ok! He's not a werewolf!"

"Yes dear, I'd noticed," Andromeda smiled. "Haven't you been saying this to your husband all along?"

"Remus! I have to tell him!" She ran from the room as fast as her recovering body would allow, down two flights of stairs to the door of the cellar. Somehow, miraculously, she hadn't fallen or knocked anything over.

"Remus? Are you there?" She asked tentatively – like she did every full moon to make sure his transformation had been complete. A low yip sounded through the wood followed by a sound as if he had butted his head against the door. Hurry up the noise seemed to say. This was backed up by a low whine. "Really Remus there is no need for all that noise! If you shut up I'll tell you!" she waited for the silence. "Thank you. He hasn't transformed. Remus – he isn't a werewolf!"

Remus barked once and she heard him slump against the door in relief.

"Have you got everything you need darling?" she asked – he always took a hunk of beef and a few books to keep himself from going insane along with a pile of blankets to curl up on and sleep. She knew he had it all, he always did. But she always asked – she was not going to be found wanting as a wife! Remus yipped his answer. "Alright, I'll see you in the morning then. I'm going to sleep now Remus. Love you." She waited for his snuffly response before returning to her room.

Andromeda was still sat in her chair, gently rocking next to Teddy.

"Go to sleep dear," she murmured softly, "I'll watch Teddy for you if you want."

Dora smiled her thanks and fell into her bed. Exhausted, but feeling more at peace than she had in a week.

He was fine! He was perfect.

Her little boy wasn't a werewolf.

**A/N Aww, the battle is up soon I have to try and work out how long the wait is between Teddy's birth and the Battle of Hogwarts. Excuse to read it again :p **


	24. Call to War

**A/N I apologise for the insane wait, but I really have been struggling to bring myself to write the battle and their death. I'm hoping to cover it in one chapter to spare myself the pain. I am keeping this cannon, which means I have to kill my favourite characters :'( **

…

It started off a normal day, Andromeda would remember years later. Teddy woke up babbling and Remus got his bottle ready while Dora slipped in the shower. Teddy sat up amongst his toys, laughing uproariously and trying to copy his mother's morphs without really understanding what he was doing and Remus sat in the background, pretending to read his book but instead laughing at his child. Andromeda still had the picture of the little family unit on her paisley rug. They were happy.

At lunchtime, Remus heard that Harry had somehow managed to break into and escape Gringotts. And the happy, relaxed atmosphere in the house dimmed a little. Andromeda made a pot of tea, Dora knocked over the flowering shrub, Teddy napped and Remus checked his auror robes. They were waiting now. They all knew that Harry wouldn't sit around after exposing himself so thoroughly. Remus had muttered that he was too much like James. Dora had tried to reassure him that Hermione would hold him back if necessary. Dora had always liked the younger, sterner witch despite her apparent love for rules. They were made from the same sort of stubborn personality.

As it began to get dark outside, Remus's wireless began whirring

"_Lightning has struck"_ it repeated, again and again.

Remus had hesitated before answering that he would be there soon. He knew he was needed. He was a soldier. Andromeda had seen the battle behind Dora's eyes; she was a battle-trained auror, she should go and fight, but the need to stay and protect her child was overwhelming.

Andromeda left the two parents alone to talk. She didn't listen at the doorway. Some things are entirely private. And that moment would be lost forever.

…..

May 2nd 1998

"You need to stay here," Remus said in a low voice, avoiding my eyes and busying his hands by rearranging items on the desk. He expects an argument. I have never been one to back down from a fight after all. But now I have new priorities. I would stay and look after Teddy for as long as possible. I have no doubt that they will need back up at some point during the night. I would end up in the battle.

"Ok," I reply, just as quietly. I do not elaborate. He looks up at me in shock, his grey eyes widening slightly. He looks so relieved.

"Thank you," he breathes, pulling me into a hug and bending so he can bury his head in my grey hair. "You have no idea how much it means to me to know that you and Teddy will be safe, away from the fighting."

I can't deceive him, I never was very good at that after all. I place my hands on his face, either side and push his face back so that I can look him in the eyes. I can't help wondering if this would be the last time I would be able to do this. I gently massage his cheeks. He needs a shave. He looks haunted, like he knows what I am about to say. His hands grip my hips and I can practically feel him begging me to just stay at home, to fight my impulses, to not protect him but to protect _our son_.

"Remus," I whisper, putting as much love into my voice as I possibly can. "I can't promise to stay away for the whole battle. I won't put myself in danger unless you need me. I am a mother, yes, but if I have to leave Teddy here to help win the battle that will give him a future… I _willI _do it."

"Dora," he says in a pained voice but I interrupt him.

"No, Remus, I can't promise you that I will stay away. It is my duty, I am an auror and the entire future is at stake. I want our son to have a _good _world to live in. I am already fighting practically every instinct in my body to run to battle, I wasn't made to sit behind and wait for it all to be over. It is my love for you and for Teddy that is keeping me here for now. If I'm needed, I'll be there. Mum can protect Teddy and they you and I can come home again when the battle is won."

He rests his forehead against mine. "Please," he breathes. "Stay here for _as long_ as you can bear not knowing. I can't stand the thought of not being able to protect you. I wish you would stay…"

"I'll try," I promise. We both know that is as good as either of us will get. "I need you to stay alive. Please don't play the hero, Teddy and I need you alive and moaning about inconsistencies in history books." We both chuckle a little at that.

"I love you," I whisper to him, and I know that it feels like a goodbye, a last chance to tell him. I hate that it feels like that. "God, this must be how the mothers and wives felt sending their men off to the front during the war."

"Bet they didn't know their wife will probably follow them," he returns, sounding agonised. I hate having to tell him that, but I made a vow not to lie to him.

"Together forever," I murmur.

"Till death do us part," he completes "Ironic really."

"How long have you got?"

"Enough time to say goodbye to my wife and son," he pauses "I can't promise to return to you Dora, you know that better than anyone. But I will promise that I will try my damndest to get back to you. Always my love."

He leanes down and kisses me softly. It feels like the most heartwrenching kind of goodbye and I can feel the tears tracking down my face. When he straigtens up again, he wipes a finger across my cheek to clear the tears. "I love you." He says simply. Then turns to the door which Teddy is behind. I let him go alone. He deserves this.

….

Remus's visit to Teddy was short, almost as if he knew that staying and staring at his son would ensure he was completely unable to leave.

He diverted to the kitchen to bid Andromeda farewell, taken by surprise when she pulls him into a bone-crushing hug. He makes her promise to keep Dora at home for as long as she can, by any means necessary. She told him to stay safe and to come home to his family.

Remus stopped to kiss Dora briefly. As they parted, she grabbed his hand and pressed a palm sized picture of the little family from a month prior. It was her favourite photograph. Dora's hair was pink, Teddy's was blue and Remus was smiling like the world was shining.

"I love you," She'd whispered.

"I love you too," he'd whispered back "Dora…"

"I know." And she did, she always knew.

Then, before he could change his mind about helping Harry, Remus rushed towards the door and disappeared towards a bigger fight.

…..

Andromeda knew better than to tell her daughter to stop moving about. She knew it wouldn't help to ask Dora to sit. She was not a stationary person, she never had been. Dora paced a path from the front window, to the fireplace, to the bassinette to the French doors and back to the window, her wand drawn, her shoulders tense.

Andromeda was surprised her impulsive daughter had remained here this long already. The battle had started an hour and a half ago. The air was thick with tension. The clock on the mantle chimed.

Suddenly, Dora stopped next to Teddy's peaceful, sleeping form. She gently smoothed back the tufty, sandy blonde hair. She picked him up, and turned towards the staircase.

"Set up the wireless," she instructed on her way past. Andromeda made to protest, but her daughter's, her baby's soft "please mum," stopped her, and she did as she was told. Her energetic, enthusiastic, happy-go-lucky daughter had never sounded quite so exhausted and defeated. Andromeda did not know what Nymphadora was going to do, only that she wanted privacy to do it.

The clock ticked over six hundred times. There were forty tiles around the fireplace.

Dora came back, Teddy was awake, quiet for once, chewing on his fist. Dora was carrying the wolf pup that Bill and Fleur had bought for them. They had bewitched the fur to change colours as Teddy did.

She sat down and set Teddy on her lap. He played with his wolf. Dora watched him with eyes that didn't see.

In the background, the wireless could be heard humming away to itself. Eventually Teddy fell asleep, curled up against his mother's chest. Andromeda rested a hand on Dora's arm but said nothing.

"I promised I would only go if he needed me," she said quietly. Andromeda did not respond.

The clock kept ticking.

…..

"Back up needed" Rasped a well-known voice over the wireless, what could have been five hours or five minutes later. "West Wall has been breached. Charlie? We need you over here, they've driven the spiders out of the forest!"

"Remus," Dora breathed, turning to the wireless. Without saying another word, she got up, adjusted Teddy so he was lying flat in her arms and marched to the desk. The desk she had learnt to write on, the desk she had hoped to teach Teddy how to write on.

"I'm sure he's fine," Andromeda attempted half-heartedly. She knew if it had been Ted she had heard, during the first war, she would have hesitated only once leaving baby Dora with her mother-in-law. Dora ignored her, reaching for a fresh sheet of parchment.

For a few moments, the only noise was the scratch of the quill against the parchment. Every now and then she would glance down at her sleeping boy, or furiously wipe tears from her cheeks.

"If I don't come back," Dora said quietly a moment after, sealing the letter with one hand and addressing it to her baby. "Give this to him when he turns seventeen. And always tell him how much I love him and how this is breaking me apart. Remus and I were going to give him Remus's family watch for that birthday." While her voice was stable, her words were clinical and report-like.

She was breaking inside.

Andromeda wrapped them both in a hug, pouring all the love and support that she could into that one, potentially last hug. She was promising to care for her grandson.

"I hope it doesn't come to that," she breathed. They parted and Dora turned all her attention to the little, dozing boy in her arms.

Her voice breaking, she began to sing the lullaby she had sung every night since he had been born, slowly crossing to the front door. On the last bar, she kissed his forehead, waking him up. Teddy had worked out that her favourite colour was pink and he often morphed his hair to pink. It seemed deliberate in that instance. He raised a chubby hand to her face. Almost as if he was saying goodbye as well.

Dora slowly transferred Teddy to his Grandmother, keeping contact for as long as she could. "Mummy loves you," she whispered to him, tears free flowing from her eyes.

Then she looked her own mother dead in the eyes, seeing all the pain and lingering hope. "Thank you," she said. It seemed so inadequate given all her old mum had done for her, but in the moment, it was perfect.

"Come home," Andromeda said quietly.

As Dora disappeared on the spot, Andromeda prayed to all and every deity that she didn't believe in that tonight would not be the last time she ever saw her daughter or son in law alive again.

**A/N OK, I have sent them off to battle. But I am not going to cover the actual battle. I can't write their last moments. I am going to skip straight to the epilogue now. There will be references to the battle in there. **


	25. Epilouge

Epilouge

Teddy Lupin had been granted special permission by Headmistress Sprout to stay at home the week after the Christmas holidays had ended to celebrate his birthday. It wasn't like he was going to drop NEWT grades because of it. People often said that Teddy had inherited his parent's brain and his father's ability to just _know_ everything. There were also often comments about how he was definitely the child of a marauder and the biggest female menace Hogwarts had ever seen.

Today was his birthday. He was seventeen. His parents should be here, his mum crying, his dad proud. He loved his Gran, he really did, but it was on his birthday he missed them most.

Aunt Molly had found them, lying next to each other in the courtyard the night of the battle, their hands fixed together, eyes only on each other. A picture of a family of three, multi-coloured and laughing, had been discovered wedged underneath their hands. No-one knew what had happened, there were no witnesses beyond the death eater that killed them. Uncle Arthur had got revenge on the bastard, Antonio Dolohov.

He had missed them on his first day of school, when most other first years had their parents waving them off he had his Gran and Uncle Harry. Teddy knew he wasn't the only War Orphan, but it still stung.

And today, he missed them most.

His Gran found him in the treehouse, a little after sunrise, carrying a small box and two envelopes. She hadn't said anything, but had just left all three next to him and gone back inside. It had taken him a while to pluck up the courage to open the letters, he knew what they were. Gran had said that both his parents had written him a letter the night they left for battle. And today he was allowed to ready them. He gently smoothed his thumb over the long thin handwriting of his father and the messy scrawl of his mother before passing over to open the gift.

It was a watch, the traditional coming of age gift from parents to son. He felt a bubble of tears that he managed to swallow. It looked old, and was slightly dented on the back. He pulled out the note wedged beneath it and opened it slowly.

_Dear Teddy,_ it read_, _

_This watch belonged to your father, and on the day you were born, he took it off and put it in this box. He swore that it would be yours, it would always be yours on your seventeenth birthday. Even if we had to sell the clothes off our backs and pawn everything we owned to keep you healthy and happy, we would never have parted with that watch. _

_We want you to have it, with all our love, Mum and Dad xxxx_

The watch fitted perfectly and, to Teddy's eye, it seemed there was an extra moon, moving outside the main ring as if timing something different. He would have to ask Gran about that.

He had decided many years ago that he would read his father's letter first because it had been written first. Hours earlier yes, but his father had still left first.

_My dearest Son, _

_I never expected to meet, let alone fall in love with a woman quite like your mother. And I never expected that you would come along, nor how perfect you would be. I was so scared that I had ruined your life before you even had the chance to live it. I was terrified you would be like me, a social pariah, an outcast. Your mother gave me a reason to keep trying, to keep battling and I have only just realised this. _

_I am leaving for the War. I am fighting for you, so that there is a future for you, so you can shine just as brightly in this dull world as your mother did for me. I do not know if I will survive to see your first birthday, and if I don't, I will never see you off on the Hogwarts Express, Dora with tears in her eyes as she waves you off. I will never be able to help you with the History of Magic homework you'll hate (unless for some reason you are like me and actually enjoy HoM). I'll never get to watch your mother teaching you how to morph, or annoy your Gran, or duel. I'll never be able to meet your first girlfriend and send you letters in the mail. I'll never be able to give you girl advice (although I would advise Uncle Harry for that more than myself, I was in my forties before I married your mum). I will not be an active part of your life. _

_But I want you to know that I believe that there is a place where I will be able to watch over you. That I will be able to guide you when you need me most. You have never known me, but I want you to remember that I will always be in your heart whenever you need me (except for relationship advice, ask your mum instead, she isn't shy). One day, I hope your mum will tell you the story of her persistence which made me realise that a life spent alone is not really a life after all. You, and your mother, Teddy, are my life. _

_If I can only give you one piece of advice, now, on the brink of battle, I would tell you to make the most of life, make friends, love and be loved. Do not be cocky and arrogant, do not make your life full of cold and lonely books. Connect with people. But as you are half your mother, I doubt that anything you do will go off with less than a bang. _

_Live life. Take all opportunities. Stand up for what you believe is right. Know that I will always be watching, and I will always be proud of you. Look after your mother for me Teddy. _

_Goodbye my son, with all my heart, _

_Dad_

Teddy bit down hard on his lip and closed his eyes. There had been so many times he had wished for his father, to talk to about things he didn't want to talk to Uncle Harry about. His dad was wise, everyone said, kind. And maybe his dad had guided him through some tough times. It was reassuring to think that his parents were watching him right now, opening his coming-of-age letters.

Once he had determined he really was not going to cry like a sissy, Teddy turned to his mothers letter. It too was hastily written, with _My darling Teddy_ inscribed on the front.

_My dearest, darling baby boy, _

_I have to go. I can't bear not knowing what is going on and being away from it all. And yet… as I feel you shift in my arms, your hair is the same colour as your dad's as I write this… I know that this is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. I have faced down my crazy aunt, I have battled death eater, chimeras, the most dangerous criminals on the earth. But leaving you here is by far the most difficult decision I have made my entire life. Leaving you and not knowing if I will see you again tomorrow… I can't explain it. Please forgive me for leaving. _

_If you are reading this, I have been gone seventeen years. I hope you have been good for your Gran and that you have caused just the right amount of chaos at Hogwarts. I hope you are passionate about what you believe in and that you have an idea of what you want to do when you've finished your NEWTS. I have no doubt that I would be so, _so,_ proud of you. I have been since the first moment I held you in my arms. Actually, go back a few months to the day I first felt you move and realised, _actually realised_ that I was going to have a baby. _

_You'll have just received Remus's watch and the note I wrote alongside it. Unless by some miracle Remus has survived and I have not and he is presenting you with the watch himself. The extra moon on the watch, the one that moves independently of the others is to mark the full moon. The 12 marks the completion of the cycle. It has been a way for your dad to surreptitiously monitor the lunar cycles without raising suspicion of his lycanthropy. It has been a cruel world for people who are different like your dad. This is why I am fighting in this battle Teddy, I am fighting for a fairer future free from prejudices. I am fighting for a future for you. _

_I have my own gift for you, one I did not tell your Gran about. In the attic, on top of the third beam from the door, I charmed a wooden box to appear today. It contains all of my happiest memories, my favourite photographs, and a small book where I wrote the story of your father and me. And also a few hints and tips for your last few months at Hogwarts but don't you dare let your Grandmother see that. She'd confiscate it faster than you can say Run. There are letters between us, but I think my true gift to you is my wedding ring. Give it to the girl that you know will make you want to fight and keep going. _

_You need to know that I love you, more than I thought my heart could hold. I stayed away from the battle this long because I needed to protect you in case crazy aunt Belle comes to pay a visit. But now I have no choice. And I don't know if I'll get to see you're first step, you're first birthday, you're first non-morphing magic (I hope it made one hell of a mess for your Gran). I won't be able to watch you open your Hogwarts letter and take you to buy your books and wave goodbye as you leave for Hogwarts embarrassed at how much I am crying. I wish I could gurantee that I will embarrass you in front of your friends at the station, be the one you come to when you're scared, or tired and just want a hug, to sing you to sleep and help you learn to read. I wish I could be the one you come to, bashful and ashamed to tell me that you think you might be in love. I wish I could laugh at you and tell you the story of your dad and me and how it can't be worse than that. I'd leave the potions and history to your dad though, he needs something right? I'd teach you Quidditch, I was a chaser in Hufflepuff and while your dad is a fair flyer, he prefers his feet firmly in the stadium despite James Potter having taught him to fly. _

_I'll never get to meet your girlfriends, your wife, your children. And for that I am so unbearably sorry. I shall be watching you, cherishing you and guiding you from afar though. I hope you talk to me, or if you didn't before, that you start now. When my dad died I found it helped to tell him of my troubles and made me feel like I hadn't quite lost him. Know that I have never been prouder of anything in my life than you. Believe me, you've made it two and a half months in my care and you are still alive. You're a fighter sweetie, I'll give you that! You completed my life when you came along and made it even more perfect. However stupid, and mushy, and cliché that sounds. It's the best way to describe it. _

_You're father and I were never perfect. Your dad was a bit more insecure about his flaws (especially the toothy, furry one) and it only took us so long to get together because he feared he would be ruining my life. He _made_ my life better and didn't realise it for so long. What I'm trying to say Ted, is that people aren't perfect. And that trying to do the best for others sometimes just hurts all parties involved. People will try and tell you that you act like your dad, or you act like me. I don't want that for you, I want you to act like _you._ Pretending to be something or someone you're not is exhausting. You need to always be yourself and if people have a problem with that, well, they have lost the chance of knowing someone amazing. _

_But perhaps my most important piece of advice, given where I am about to go, is to stand up and fight for what you believe in. Don't back down to the bully, even if they are bigger than you and badder than you. Sometimes all it takes is the little guy with guts. Don't be mean though, that's bad, ok? No drugs or anything. That's superbad. _

_What I mean is, if I had back down before, I wouldn't have you now. If I had let your dad's constant rejections beat me, we wouldn't have each other and we wouldn't have you. _

_I have to go, please, please forgive me. And remember just how much I love you. If you ever need me, just look inside or try and talk to me. I'll do my best to answer. I'm sure God compromises over letters to the living. I love you, and even with the treat of death and destruction outside our door, these two and a half months have been the happiest of my life. I hope rather than believe that you will be a tad more well-behaved that I was for your Gran. _

_I love you Teddy and I will always be there for you if you need me, _

_Love, Mum xxxxxxxxx_

…_.._

Teddy wiped a few tears from his cheeks, a sad smile on his face. Gran had often commented that he was just as much of a handful as his mother had been at his age. And many teachers at Hogwarts who had been there over twenty years had moaned that Teddy took after his rambunctious mother more than his studious father until McGonagall had reminded them that Lupin had been a Marauder. Some weren't old enough to remember dad's Hogwarts years.

He had never tried talking to his parents. It had always felt weird, like he was talking to himself and that was stupid. Aunt Hermione had suggested once that it might be a good idea, but hadn't pushed the idea. Maybe now was the right time to try. So Teddy settle back against the tree trunk, leaning the sheets of parchment against his knee and holding the watch, his dad's watch, in his hands.

"Hey mum," he said quietly, feeling a bit stupid, "Hey dad, I'm seventeen today. You've been gone a while…"

Over in the house, Andromeda, her thick black hair now short and grey, stood at the kitchen window with her arms crossed.

"You think he'll be ok?" She asked her companion, a middle aged, black haired bespectacled wearing man with a lightening scar.

They watched him together for a moment. They could see him start talking to the leaves on the trees, his shoulders relaxed, his hands holding onto the watch.

"He'll be fine," Harry said. "He's their son after all."

And so, they both turned to the living room where Teddy had a pile of presents waiting for him, neither wanting to pull him away from time with his parents.

**A/N I never said it would be a happy epilogue. But this story is now complete. Thanks to everyone who has stuck with me over the last two and a bit years. I am sorry it has taken quite so long. **

**Many thanks**

**PinkPunk010**


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